2023-02-01 09:54:25 +08:00
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---
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name: mizuharanagisa
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info:
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alias: Mizuhara Nagisa, 水原なぎさ, Shui Yuan Zhu
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2024-01-13 15:08:11 +08:00
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location: Shanghai
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2023-02-01 09:54:25 +08:00
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---
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## Description
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Shui Yuan Zhu is a trans woman living in Shanghai.
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She was friends with Ying.
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During her life, she was an active long-term contributor for Chinese Wikipedia and other MediaWiki sites.
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Since 2019, she started playing Azur Lane.
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Her favorite character was Xiang.
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Her hobbies were tinkering with computer hardware like Respberry Pi and drawing.
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She was also proficient in Japanese.
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Because of depression and other problems, she had to stop going to school since 2019;
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because of inacceptance of her family and other problems she faced, her depression and anxiety got worse and started to suffer from insomnia.
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On 2021 July 21st, she took her own life to leave this cruel world.
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This is the [last piece of writing](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E6odBBBVIAAM-Zt?format=jpg&name=4096x4096) she left us.
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> To every one of my friends
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>
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> People who know me well usually call me Shui Senpai or Shui Yuan, but my name is actually 水原なぎさ.
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> Not my legal name, of course.
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> How do I say this?
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> During these past few years I've been tormented by chronic depression and anxiety issues.
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> I think they finally overcame me today,
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> so I decided to end my life.
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> I don't really know what would happen,
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> either I'd be dead or I'd be in the ICU, lol.
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> Regrettablly, I would be unable to enjoy the 3060 video card I just got.
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> And Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 5.
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>
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> Everything goes wrong when my family is involved.
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> It's better to hope for a better start in the next life?
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> Nope, of course I'm not going to come to this cruel world again;
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> the worlds portrayed in animes are much better, not that I think they exist.
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>
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> (Switching my pen.)
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>
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> I'm tired of everything.
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> I still have games to play:
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> What would happen to the girls in Zhen Shou Fu?
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> Would that character keep waiting for me?
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> I'm sorry, but I cannot keep going anymore.
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> I really can't find any energy in myself to keep me going.
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> This body is also broken, from head to toe.
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> Might as well throw it away, along with these health issues.
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> I hope that in the next life,
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> I can master drawing;
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> I can read more books, number exceeding those I've read in this life;
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> Most importantly, being a cute girl.
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> (Not that I believe in there being a next life, just a wish.)
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>
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> I want to thank everyone who have helped me during my short life.
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> You helped me many times during various time periods of my life,
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> but I really can't thank you individually.
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> And, Ying, if there really is a world we go to after death,
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> I'll mark the route for you.
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> Not really, please live healthily and happily in this life.
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> Oh, I forgot.
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> I have a Vtuber video to watch, I'm going to watch that now.
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> Once again, thank you, every one of my friends.
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> Sorry for taking your time.
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>
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> — Shui Yuan Zhu, 2021 June 21st.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/letter.jpg',
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]} />
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Wish you to be able to meet the girls in Zhen Shou Fu and live happily in another world,
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after leaving all of this world's sufferings behind.
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