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---
name: Zheermao September
info:
alias: Zheermao
location: Xi'an, Shaanxi
---
> "Thank you for talking with me so much.
> If we meet in heaven, I'll treat you to some beverages."
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>
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> `-` "It would be better if we could drink it together in this world.
> In addition...what's your favorite flavor?"
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>
> "I can't wait that long. I'm so sorry..."
## Description
Zheermao was a trans girl who was extremely lacking in love and needed care.
Her MBTI personality was INFJ-A/INFJ-T.
She enjoyed songs from *Touhou Project*.
She played various games, such as *Plague Inc.*, *Overwatch*, and *Needy Streamer Overload*.
She also loved galgames.
While playing *Mystery Lover 2*, she thought about many of her own experiences...
Zheermao was quite knowledgeable about electronics.
She shared her insights on related topics on Zhihu.
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Occasionally, she would visit the local library in Xi'an to read her favorite books.
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## Departure
As mentioned in her description,
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Zheermao was a girl extremely deprived of love.
She always relied on friends around her and often needed their companionship.
[Arts](https://one-among.us/profile/ArtsEpiphany) once sent Zheermao a caring letter.
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They had a good relationship, and Zheermao kept Arts's letter all along.
<PhotoScroll photos={[
'${path}/photos/photo1.jpg',
'${path}/photos/photo2.jpg',
]} />
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English translation of the preceding letter:
> I am ArtsEpiphany, an admin from the online forum Transland.
> You can call me Arts.
> I saw your QQ instant messaging number in your forum profile, but you seem to have disabled initiating conversations using QQ number.
> Therefore I chose to contact you in this way, I'm sorry!
>
> Actually, Arts is also a cat-like person.
> How can a cat-like person be unforgivable?
> Cat-like people are the cutest beings in the world.
> Those who are truly guilty won't feel guilty.
> They won't think of ending themselves.
> They'll keep harming more and more people, making them suffer more and more.
> They only care about how much benefit they can get for themselves, clinging to life but escaping from death.
> When they are lucky, they think of how to obtain more; when they are unlucky, they think of how to lose less.
> Although I cannot comprehend what you've been through, I believe you're a good girl at heart.
>
> Arts understands that it's not easy to live without the support of a family.
> You may be lonely, because you have no one to turn to when in pain; you may be helpless, because no one extends their hand when in trouble; you may be puzzled, because you don't know what to live for.
>
> Actually, Arts doesn't really know how to console you.
> Why do some people live in happiness but others live in suffering, without a hint of hope?
> Arts doesn't understand.
> Arts hates this unfair world as well.
> Because of this, Arts won't flatly tell you to keep living.
> What Arts wants to tell you is this:
> > You are not alone.
> For example, as a trans person, there are people everywhere in the world who have the same hopes and dreams as you, trying to build a brighter future for themselves.
> For example, there are people who have cut ties with their parents.
> For example, there are people who have issues with self-harm.
>
> Therefore, please believe that there are people who would care, understand, and accompany you.
> There are also people who would wish for your happiness, whether you know them or not, like me, Arts.
>
> If you like, I'd like to hug you.
>
> Good night,
> ArtsEpiphany
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Zheermao attempted to leave this world several times but survived with difficulty through rescues.
However, in the early spring of 2024,
following the death of a friend, she made up her mind again to leave.
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A few days before her departure,
she sent an email to One Among Us.
Upon seeing it, one member sent her a reply immediately:
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
'${path}/photos/photo3.png',
]} />
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English translation of the preceding email conversation:
> - Zheermao
> > Please prepare a little.
> > It's Zheermao.
> > I tried to live, but...
> > I'm sorry. Thank you.
> > If I succeed, please put up my entry.
> > Thank you.
>
> - ...@oneamongus.ca
> > Good evening,
> >
> > I just refreshed my inbox after sending an email to my friend.
> > I'm sorry. I'd like to hug you.
> > But please believe me, there are sparks of brightness in the endless nights as well.
> > {/* 可以避开黑暗的锋芒,到那些有光的地方躲一躲。 这句不知道如何翻译 */}
> > All from One Among Us will always be with you.
> > If you need help, please contact us or someone you trust.
> > Please do not worry, we'll try to write down what we remember.
> > But keep living is the best way to rebel against the hatred in the world.
> > The dynamic stories about you or me, the stories that are living, are much more alive than finished stories.
> > That's what we can never write down.
> > Love you. Do not give up easily.
> > It must still be cold in the north. I'd hug you again.
> > Spring is coming. Ice will melt, no matter how hard it is.
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Later, that member contacted her on Telegram and tried to comfort her, then talked with her for a long time about transgender experiences, love and being loved, and the meaning of living, trying to keep her for a little longer.
Despite this, she insisted on her decision... and ultimately chose to leave.
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After her departure, Han Lianyi wrote an [epitaph](https://t.me/Lianyi520/565) for her.
Perhaps Zheermao's departure was not an unexpected ending.
But now, everything can only be turned into a long sigh...
Contributor for this entry: Echo of One Among Us