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---
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name: Hanasaka
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info:
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alias: Kagurazaka Hanasaka, Hakureico
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location: Dalian, Liaoning
---
< details >
< summary > **A R I G A T O**< / summary >
> こんなちいさな星座なのに
>
> I'm such a small and insignificant constellation,
>
> ココにいたこと 気付いてくれて
>
> but you noticed that I was here.
>
> ありがとう
>
> Thank you.
< / details >
## Description
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Hanasaka was a trans girl, who was lively and lovely.
She studied in School of Mathematics, Liaoning Normal University.
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She was proficient in mathematics,
and she enjoyed learning computer science.
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She was also a traffic-fan.
She had interests on city bus, rail transit and national railways.
Occasionally, she took a plane and looked at the blue sky outside the prothole.
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Although those were always solo trips.
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She was good at playing music game OSU, and uploaded many videos of her gameplay.
She was still online even if she was in bad mental condition.
Hanasaka was also focus on several kinds of games,
such as *THE iDOLM@STER SHINY COLORS* and *Nekopara* .
Sadly, she gradually lost her interest on game under life pressure,
and she no longer updated her activity on games afterwards.
Although for some reasons, her mental health got worse since March 2018. Luckily, there were still people who cared about her.
In early June 2018, she went to IKEA with an acquaintance of her, and eat tasty and affordable ice cream corns together.
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## Her Departure
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As Hanasaka described herself on Zhihu profile: "Just a Giftia, about to be destroyed".
A Giftia is a type of android with a humanoid body in anime *PLASTIC MEMORIES* .
They have their own personality and emotion.
But they can only "live" for a maximum of 81,920 hours,
after which their programming becomes corrupted due to numerous failed attempts at overwriting old information.
If a Giftia is not retrieved and deactivated before the end of their lifespan, it is very likely that they will become "Wanderers".
Hanasaka used this metaphor to describe her mental state about to collapse.
五月份的时候, 她用「Mayday[^1]」来传达自己已经接近极限的信号,好在后续转危为安。
> 应答机 7700 MaydayMaydayMayday 降为 MaydayMayday
>
> 预计超重着陆
>
> 正在执行超重着陆检查单
>
> //大概我是只堕天使吧。
>
> //反复无常的心情,就和外面的天气一样。
>
> //之前转发的各位,敬请放心。不会坠毁!
尽管她还和大家说,多出去走一走看看风景散散心,也说过「即使再绝望也要活下来啊。那样才有可能实现愿望的说。」这样的话语。
但她终究还是在 8 月的时候选择了离开。
离开之前,她委托了一位身在美国的铁路爱好者 Mizuki 在她的账号之上发布她的离世消息:
Mizuki 用一段故事和间断的讲述代替了冷冰冰的讣告。
> Finally went to hell as a devil.
>
> updated 18-08-09
这句话是千歌曾经的恋人留给她的,千歌曾不断地想知道,为何那段爱情会终结,最终却得到的是「去你的吧」的答案。
终究她也只能留下这样的话:
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> "May the world could treat you well."
>
> "At least better than me."
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其实,哪里是什么要下地狱的恶魔呢?千歌是很温柔的人呢,有着助人型人格,常想着对方,而没考虑到自己。但或许,这也正是她与恋人分开的原因。
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At last, she burnt her belongings, and drown in the river that never stopped flowing.
She had been in a world where no people would hate her, and no bad things would happen.
## Different Words
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Now these accounts are free. May she free too.
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<!-- 由 Mizuki 写下这些文字,这里是 Mizuki。
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尽管有些难以说明究竟发生了什么,但这个账号的号主,
已经
在一个不会有人讨厌着她,也不会发生不好的事情的世界里了。
朋友们,是时候睡个好觉了呢,保持微笑,要一直活下去呢。
就如同她曾经的男朋友所说,
“成为了魔鬼,最终堕入地狱。”
“你真是个笨蛋啊。”
“她是我的猎物。”
“为什么不多自杀几次呢?”
她的男朋友说。
许多次以后,
她的朋友有了另一个男朋友,
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而他想要她放弃自杀。 -->
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Written by mizuki. mizuki here.
Although hard to say
the original owner of this account
has been
in a world
where no people would hate her
and no bad things would happen.
time to sleep friends,
and keep smiling, keep alive.
as her boyfriend said
finally went to hell as devil.
"You are an idiot"
"She is my own prey"
"Why not commit suicide several more times"
her boyfriend said.
after several times
her friend had another boyfriend
and he wanted her to give up
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seeking for the end of her first love
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but cannot receive an answer
even if the answer is "Go fuck yourself"
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<!-- 她找寻着她第一次爱的尽头,但是没办法得到一个答案,即使答案是“去你的吧!” -->
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they once were a pairing.
but apart as she had a "helper" personality.
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<!-- 他们曾经是一对,
但是分开了,因为她有着“帮助者”的人格 -->
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## About comments
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:| http://zhihu.com has a so shitty experience on reading comments without being fucked by recommended passages and its following advertisement...btw she told me read comments till 8/16.
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<!-- 知乎的浏览体验真他妈的差劲啊, 还有一堆推荐消息和什么广告, 但是她告诉我要一直看到8月16号的评论。 -->
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## Other words of mizuki
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I read about her leftover messages in her chatting software.
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<!-- 我看了她聊天软件之中留下的消息 -->
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She was trapped in a triangle of love. :(
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<!-- 她被困在三角恋爱之中 -->
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Another thing is that My work has done, including taking care of her accounts.
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<!-- 另外就是,我该做的已经结束了,包括关注她的这些账号。 -->
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Now these accounts are free. May she free too.
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<!-- 现在这些账号都将释放,她的灵魂也该释然了。 -->
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## Her Letter
Hanasaka left a letter for her only friend:
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> I am never gone,
>
> Just changed where I live,
>
> From ground to heaven owo
>
> (Maybe hell xDDDD)
>
> If you happened to see this,
>
> You shouldn't be surprised,
>
> Cause neko has 9 lifes =w=
>
> Remember,
>
> I will be always with you,
>
> No matter what you've become,
>
> And who's by your side w
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Kagurazaka Hanasaka
>
> Aug. 8th, 2018
>
> Main__Function__Triggered__Successfully____
>
> 2018__10__15__20__42__31________
>
> HOSTED__WITH__GAE____
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Now these accounts are free. May she free too.
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Time to sleep friends, and keep smiling, keep alive.