diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.json b/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.json index b850283e..499b34b3 100644 --- a/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.json +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",em:\"em\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\",br:\"br\"},props.components),PhotoScroll=_components.PhotoScroll;if(!PhotoScroll)_missingMdxReference(\"PhotoScroll\",true);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Immersed in love and being loved...\"'),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"When it comes to the wounds caused by love, Mika must be mentioned.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But after meeting Spring Khara, I realized how happy it is to have someone with me.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But now I have to lose her...\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I don\\'t want to go on alone anymore.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Being alone is painful, and I can\\'t see hope.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7, are you there?\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Can I give you my Twitter account password?\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"It\\'s somewhat bitter...\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Spring is leaving for Japan, maybe she\\'s boarding the plane now. Tell her I love her.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I bought some ice cream. When my stomach starts to ache, I\\'ll eat some to suppress it.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"\\\"It won't be painful. It won't.\\\"\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo1.png\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mikaela Khara, also known as Mika,\\nwas a 16-year-old trans girl from Beijing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She was a top student who attended a special class in a Beijing high school, and her family was fairly well-off.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She enjoyed playing \",Vue.h(_components.em,null,\"Dead by Daylight\"),' and researching network engineering.\\nMany people were willing to engage with her;\\nshe had a wide range of hobbies,\\nand she gave off a very reliable \"big sister\" vibe.\\nOf course, she was indeed older than me.\\nBut the reliability I once thought she had was just a feeling after all...'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She had a sense of humor,\\nwas very caring towards others,\\nbut also struggled with gender identity and inner struggle.\\nShe showed a lively side of herself,\\nbut upon closer observation,\\nshe revealed a deep awareness of her own situation.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"First Meeting\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'I first met Mika on the night of July 31st, 2023.\\nHer intention was clear ——\\nshe wanted to \"ship\" me and Jing Jiangbie as a couple.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later on, I learned that she was in a relationship with Spring Khara.\\nEven though they hadn't been together long,\\nI could tell from their conversations that they deeply loved each other.\\nAt that time, she was one of my \\\"little bells\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-1\",id:\"footnote-ref-1\"},\"1\")),'\" as I often saw her and Spring flaunting their affection for each other.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Through our chats,\\nI began to realize that Mika’s family likely offered little emotional support.\\nShe was longed for love and companionship and tended to become emotionally dependent on others.\\nAbout half a month later,\\nthe four of us created a small group chat.\\nAlmost every night, we’d make calls together,\\nand sometimes we’d watch Mika play Dead by Daylight in the voice channel.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I regret never watching Mika play.\\nUnfortunately, I was busy researching ways to earn money to prepare for my own independence and financial needs.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"The Breaking Point\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Money was precisely the breaking point for Mika’s despair.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"In late August, she tried coming out but ended up facing serious opposition.\\nWhat started as a typical situation—family conflict,\\nher parents not wanting her to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT).\\nSo Mika running away from home only to be brought back by the police—ended in conflict resolution at the local police station.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That was originally just a typical thing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That night, Mika, Spring and I discussed her family conflicts and provided her with psychological support.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Spring realized she had an untouched \\xa520,000 (~$2,800, 2023-09) that her family didn’t know about and asked me for advice on how to invest it.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"The two of them had a simple plan: escape together.\\nThe next day, they opened a joint account at China Merchants Bank (CMB).\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Once they had money, they began indulging in high expenses frequently, posting on Twitter about their luxurious dates.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"By September, I started noticing cracks in their relationship due to their financial strain and Mika's dependency on Spring.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I found out that Mika sought out \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/cmtfdd\"},\"Yemaomao\"),\" for companionship,\\nand what happened during that time was something Spring found hard to accept.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika simply wanted to escape because she couldn't bear her family’s constraints on her gender identity.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From September 21st to October 4th,\\nMika and Spring were in a toxic relationship.\\nMika used Spring’s last bit of money to buy a box of Progynon Depot,\\nbut she barely took a few shots in the end.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika mostly wanted to be loved and cared for,\\ntrying her best to please others.\\nHowever, her circumstances trapped her,\\nmaking her love seem pathological to Spring,\\nthough it was still genuine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"From Xiawafang to Tianjin Eye\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"On October 15th, Mika suddenly contacted me,\\nasking if I could take over her Twitter account.\\nI was on my way to Tianjin Library but suddenly realized something was wrong.\\nHuai An (\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7's classmate in high school) and I decided to get off at XIAWAFANG Station\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-2\",id:\"footnote-ref-2\"},\"2\")),\" and call the police to save Mika.\\nBefore leaving the station, I briefly called Mika, trying to calm her down.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"It’s no use. I’ve locked the door from the inside.\"\\n\"Tell Spring I love her very much.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Those were Mika’s last words, and at that moment, I felt utterly powerless.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"details\",null,Vue.h(\"summary\",null,\"To be continued...\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I received confirmed news of Mika’s departure on October 24th.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Because of a previous competition I qualified for, I went to Sanchakou(three-river-junction) that day.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Since parking wasn’t allowed inside the Children's Palace,\\nwe changed clothes in the parking lot beneath the Tianjin Eye.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And just as we got out of the car, the message came through:\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“They couldn’t bring her back.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“This is Yongle Bridge, with the Tianjin Eye perched on top. It’s a perfect spot for a date. If you ever have the chance to visit, I’ll treat you to a ride~”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“Thank you, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7~ I’ve been thinking about riding it for a while. When the time comes, will you join me?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"As I stood before the Tianjin Eye, these memories came flooding back, freezing everything in place. I forced myself to suppress the sorrow, and although I didn’t perform well, I still completed the final performance of the competition.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I asked a friend about their impression of Mika:\"),Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think Mika was just a poor child, probably insecure and desperately wanting someone to rely on.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her experiences were so similar to mine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her body was covered in scars from the beatings she endured at home. When I saw them, I wanted to cry.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think... she probably died full of grievances. It didn’t seem like relief at all.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From what I could tell, before she died, she still wanted to feel love. If someone could have gone to her in person and hugged her, it might have made a difference.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I could have gone...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I had promised to visit her in December, to spend Christmas with her, to make dumplings and eat boiled shrimp together.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"There were times when it felt like she was begging me to come.\"),\"\\n\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From Sanchakou,\\nif you follow the Ziya River and the North Canal upstream,\\nthe currents will carry you northward,\\nall the way to the heart of Beijing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And now, here I am,\\nstanding at Sanchakou,\\nwhere past memories and thoughts all seem to converge.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her sudden departure brought everything to an abrupt halt,\\nas if all the stories left unfinished were frozen in that moment.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"All those promises...making dumplings, celebrating Christmas...have now become dreams with nowhere to rest.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I don’t think Mika truly wanted to leave this world.\\nShe was just so desperate for someone to hear her inner cries,\\nfor someone to hold her and offer her a place to belong.\\nShe lived too clearly in a world too complicated, and she carried that clarity alone,\\nhidden beneath layers of pain that eventually overwhelmed her like a flood.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“If I had realized sooner and been firmer, would things have turned out differently?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This question haunts me like a recurring nightmare.\\nBut time moves on without compassion,\\nmoving forward without pause, leaving us only with regret and endless longing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Standing at Sanchakou, the cold wind brushes against my face.\\nBefore me, the rivers flow endlessly—they merge, split, and flow forward, never looking back, much like life itself.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika once said,\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"“I hope that one day we can sit on the Tianjin Eye and admire the view together.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I know now that she may never get to see that view.\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"But her story, her love, and her misunderstood persistence will forever remain in the hearts of those who remember her.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Love has never really disappears...it’s just that we can no longer speak it to her in person.\")),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Epilogue\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika’s story includes many aspects that I can’t openly share,\\nsuch as details about her family, friends.\\nAnd those close to her advised me to keep certain things private.\\nSo I can only write up to this point.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"One night, in a group chat, I was on a call with Mika.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7, I really want to contribute to the community.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I want to help many people like me survive.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But my situation and environment make it difficult.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If there’s a chance, maybe in the future, I’ll start a company with the name XiaoYaoNiang(XYN).\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I think those sisters who run shelters are really amazing.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If I could one day be like them, able to help others…\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"That would be so wonderful.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This is the origin of XYN (Tianjin) Technology.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Excerpt from: \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/ryq59\"},\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7\"),\"'s Chronicle Issue No.33, 2023\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"ol\",null,Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-1\"},\"\\\"Little bells\\\" originally refers to the notification feature on Twitter that alerts users when someone they follow posts a tweet. Users can choose to enable or disable these notifications for specific accounts. Here, 'Little Bell' refers to \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 enabling notifications for certain mutual followers (mutuals) to ensure she could promptly like their posts. At that time, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 maintained such interactions with around 300 mutuals.\",Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-1\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 16\",version:\"1.1\",id:\"svg1\",\"xmlns:xlink\":\"http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink\",xmlns:\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",\"xmlns:svg\":\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",style:\"margin-left: 0.5rem; margin-bottom: -2px; width: 1rem; height: 1rem\"},Vue.h(\"defs\",{id:\"defs1\"},Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient3\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop3\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop4\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient1\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop1\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop2\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient1\",id:\"linearGradient2\",x1:\"2.6681123\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"13.331888\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\",gradientTransform:\"translate(2.6678295,-2)\"}),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient3\",id:\"linearGradient4\",x1:\"3.7075224\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"12.292478\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\"})),Vue.h(\"g\",{id:\"layer1\",transform:\"translate(0,2)\"},Vue.h(\"circle\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient2);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path1\",cx:\"10.667834\",cy:\"6\",r:\"4.5818877\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:#ff8373;stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",d:\"M 9.9178343,10.577036 H 1.7971455\",id:\"path2\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient4);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path3\",d:\"M 8.0000001,11.231817 4.7681825,8.0000001 7.9999999,4.7681825 11.231817,7.9999999 Z\",transform:\"translate(-3.6894439,2.577036)\"}))))),Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-2\"},'XIAWAFANG Station is an interchange station between Lines 1 and 5 of the Tianjin Rail Transit. 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Tell her I love her.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I bought some ice cream. When my stomach starts to ache, I\\'ll eat some to suppress it.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"\\\"It won't be painful. It won't.\\\"\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo1.png\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mikaela Khara, also known as Mika,\\nwas a 16-year-old trans girl from Beijing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She was a top student who attended a special class in a Beijing high school, and her family was fairly well-off.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She enjoyed playing \",Vue.h(_components.em,null,\"Dead by Daylight\"),' and researching network engineering.\\nMany people were willing to engage with her;\\nshe had a wide range of hobbies,\\nand she gave off a very reliable \"big sister\" vibe.\\nOf course, she was indeed older than me.\\nBut the reliability I once thought she had was just a feeling after all...'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She had a sense of humor,\\nwas very caring towards others,\\nbut also struggled with gender identity and inner struggle.\\nShe showed a lively side of herself,\\nbut upon closer observation,\\nshe revealed a deep awareness of her own situation.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"First Meeting\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'I first met Mika on the night of July 31st, 2023.\\nHer intention was clear ——\\nshe wanted to \"ship\" me and Jing Jiangbie as a couple.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later on, I learned that she was in a relationship with Spring Khara.\\nEven though they hadn't been together long,\\nI could tell from their conversations that they deeply loved each other.\\nAt that time, she was one of my \\\"little bells\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-1\",id:\"footnote-ref-1\"},\"1\")),'\" as I often saw her and Spring flaunting their affection for each other.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Through our chats,\\nI began to realize that Mika’s family likely offered little emotional support.\\nShe was longed for love and companionship and tended to become emotionally dependent on others.\\nAbout half a month later,\\nthe four of us created a small group chat.\\nAlmost every night, we’d make calls together,\\nand sometimes we’d watch Mika play Dead by Daylight in the voice channel.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I regret never watching Mika play.\\nUnfortunately, I was busy researching ways to earn money to prepare for my own independence and financial needs.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"The Breaking Point\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Money was precisely the breaking point for Mika’s despair.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"In late August, she tried coming out but ended up facing serious opposition.\\nWhat started as a typical situation—family conflict,\\nher parents not wanting her to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT).\\nSo Mika running away from home only to be brought back by the police—ended in conflict resolution at the local police station.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That was originally just a typical thing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That night, Mika, Spring and I discussed her family conflicts and provided her with psychological support.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Spring realized she had an untouched \\xa520,000 (~$2,800, 2023-09) that her family didn’t know about and asked me for advice on how to invest it.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"The two of them had a simple plan: escape together.\\nThe next day, they opened a joint account at China Merchants Bank (CMB).\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Once they had money, they began indulging in high expenses frequently, posting on Twitter about their luxurious dates.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"By September, I started noticing cracks in their relationship due to their financial strain and Mika's dependency on Spring.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I found out that Mika sought out \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/cmtfdd\"},\"Yemaomao\"),\" for companionship,\\nand what happened during that time was something Spring found hard to accept.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika simply wanted to escape because she couldn't bear her family’s constraints on her gender identity.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From September 21st to October 4th,\\nMika and Spring were in a toxic relationship.\\nMika used Spring’s last bit of money to buy a box of Progynon Depot,\\nbut she barely took a few shots in the end.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika mostly wanted to be loved and cared for,\\ntrying her best to please others.\\nHowever, her circumstances trapped her,\\nmaking her love seem pathological to Spring,\\nthough it was still genuine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"From Xiawafang to Tianjin Eye\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"On October 15th, Mika suddenly contacted me,\\nasking if I could take over her Twitter account.\\nI was on my way to Tianjin Library but suddenly realized something was wrong.\\nHuai An (\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7's classmate in high school) and I decided to get off at XIAWAFANG Station\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-2\",id:\"footnote-ref-2\"},\"2\")),\" and call the police to save Mika.\\nBefore leaving the station, I briefly called Mika, trying to calm her down.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"It’s no use. I’ve locked the door from the inside.\"\\n\"Tell Spring I love her very much.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Those were Mika’s last words, and at that moment, I felt utterly powerless.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"details\",null,Vue.h(\"summary\",null,\"To be continued...\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I received confirmed news of Mika’s departure on October 24th.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Because of a previous competition I qualified for, I went to Sanchakou(three-river-junction) that day.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Since parking wasn’t allowed inside the Children's Palace,\\nwe changed clothes in the parking lot beneath the Tianjin Eye.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And just as we got out of the car, the message came through:\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“They couldn’t bring her back.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“This is Yongle Bridge, with the Tianjin Eye perched on top. It’s a perfect spot for a date. If you ever have the chance to visit, I’ll treat you to a ride~”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“Thank you, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7~ I’ve been thinking about riding it for a while. When the time comes, will you join me?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"As I stood before the Tianjin Eye, these memories came flooding back, freezing everything in place. I forced myself to suppress the sorrow, and although I didn’t perform well, I still completed the final performance of the competition.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I asked a friend about their impression of Mika:\"),Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think Mika was just a poor child, probably insecure and desperately wanting someone to rely on.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her experiences were so similar to mine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her body was covered in scars from the beatings she endured at home. When I saw them, I wanted to cry.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think... she probably died full of grievances. It didn’t seem like relief at all.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From what I could tell, before she died, she still wanted to feel love. If someone could have gone to her in person and hugged her, it might have made a difference.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I could have gone...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I had promised to visit her in December, to spend Christmas with her, to make dumplings and eat boiled shrimp together.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"There were times when it felt like she was begging me to come.\"),\"\\n\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From Sanchakou,\\nif you follow the Ziya River and the North Canal upstream,\\nthe currents will carry you northward,\\nall the way to the heart of Beijing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And now, here I am,\\nstanding at Sanchakou,\\nwhere past memories and thoughts all seem to converge.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her sudden departure brought everything to an abrupt halt,\\nas if all the stories left unfinished were frozen in that moment.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"All those promises...making dumplings, celebrating Christmas...have now become dreams with nowhere to rest.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I don’t think Mika truly wanted to leave this world.\\nShe was just so desperate for someone to hear her inner cries,\\nfor someone to hold her and offer her a place to belong.\\nShe lived too clearly in a world too complicated, and she carried that clarity alone,\\nhidden beneath layers of pain that eventually overwhelmed her like a flood.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“If I had realized sooner and been firmer, would things have turned out differently?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This question haunts me like a recurring nightmare.\\nBut time moves on without compassion,\\nmoving forward without pause, leaving us only with regret and endless longing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Standing at Sanchakou, the cold wind brushes against my face.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Before me, the rivers flow endlessly—they merge, part, and course toward the Bohai Sea, never turning back, much like life itself.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika once said,\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"“I hope that one day we can sit on the Tianjin Eye and admire the view together.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I know now that she may never get to see that view.\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"But her story, her love, and her misunderstood persistence will forever remain in the hearts of those who remember her.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Love has never really disappears...it’s just that we can no longer speak it to her in person.\"),Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo2.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo3.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo4.jpg\"]})),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Epilogue\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika’s story includes many aspects that I can’t openly share,\\nsuch as details about her family, friends.\\nAnd those close to her advised me to keep certain things private.\\nSo I can only write up to this point.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"One night, in a group chat, I was on a call with Mika.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7, I really want to contribute to the community.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I want to help many people like me survive.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But my situation and environment make it difficult.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If there’s a chance, maybe in the future, I’ll start a company with the name XiaoYaoNiang(XYN).\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I think those sisters who run shelters are really amazing.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If I could one day be like them, able to help others…\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"That would be so wonderful.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This is the origin of XYN (Tianjin) Technology.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Excerpt from: \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/yqua_\"},\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7\"),\"'s Chronicle Issue No.33, 2023\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"ol\",null,Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-1\"},\"\\\"Little bells\\\" originally refers to the notification feature on Twitter that alerts users when someone they follow posts a tweet. Users can choose to enable or disable these notifications for specific accounts. Here, 'Little Bell' refers to \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 enabling notifications for certain mutual followers (mutuals) to ensure she could promptly like their posts. At that time, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 maintained such interactions with around 300 mutuals.\",Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-1\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 16\",version:\"1.1\",id:\"svg1\",\"xmlns:xlink\":\"http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink\",xmlns:\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",\"xmlns:svg\":\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",style:\"margin-left: 0.5rem; margin-bottom: -2px; width: 1rem; height: 1rem\"},Vue.h(\"defs\",{id:\"defs1\"},Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient3\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop3\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop4\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient1\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop1\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop2\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient1\",id:\"linearGradient2\",x1:\"2.6681123\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"13.331888\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\",gradientTransform:\"translate(2.6678295,-2)\"}),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient3\",id:\"linearGradient4\",x1:\"3.7075224\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"12.292478\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\"})),Vue.h(\"g\",{id:\"layer1\",transform:\"translate(0,2)\"},Vue.h(\"circle\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient2);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path1\",cx:\"10.667834\",cy:\"6\",r:\"4.5818877\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:#ff8373;stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",d:\"M 9.9178343,10.577036 H 1.7971455\",id:\"path2\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient4);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path3\",d:\"M 8.0000001,11.231817 4.7681825,8.0000001 7.9999999,4.7681825 11.231817,7.9999999 Z\",transform:\"translate(-3.6894439,2.577036)\"}))))),Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-2\"},'XIAWAFANG Station is an interchange station between Lines 1 and 5 of the Tianjin Rail Transit. Heading south from this station leads to WENHUAZHONGXIN (Cultural Centre) Station, where the Tianjin Library (Cultural Centre Branch) is located.\"',Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-2\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 16\",version:\"1.1\",id:\"svg1\",\"xmlns:xlink\":\"http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink\",xmlns:\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",\"xmlns:svg\":\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",style:\"margin-left: 0.5rem; margin-bottom: -2px; width: 1rem; height: 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import, pass, or provide it.\")}" \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.json b/people/mikaela_khara/page.json index c190cf04..f7e66cdd 100644 --- a/people/mikaela_khara/page.json +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\"},props.components),CapDownQuote=_components.CapDownQuote,PhotoScroll=_components.PhotoScroll;if(!CapDownQuote)_missingMdxReference(\"CapDownQuote\",true);if(!PhotoScroll)_missingMdxReference(\"PhotoScroll\",true);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"沉溺于爱与被爱……\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"那么提到爱情伤人的话 是有必要提及 Mika 的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"blockquote\",null,Vue.h(CapDownQuote,{messages:[[\"但是遇到泉泉之后 我才知道能有人陪着是件多幸福的事。”\",\"“可现在我又要失去她……”\"],[\"“我不想再一个人走下去了”\",\"“一个人好痛苦 看不到希望”\"],[\"“在吗铨铨……”\",\"“我把我推特的账号密码交给你可以嘛……”\"],[\"“有点苦……”\",\"“泉妹要出发去日本了 可能是在登机 告诉她我爱她”\"],[\"“我买了杯冰激凌 一会肚子难受了就吃一口压一下”\",\"“不会痛苦的 不会的”\"]]})),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo1.png\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mikaela Khara,16 岁,北京人。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她是个学霸,曾就读于北京某高中的特殊班,家境还算不错。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"喜欢玩黎明杀机,研究网络工程。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"愿意与她交流的人很多,她的兴趣爱好也特别广泛,给人一种非常可靠的大姐姐的感觉,当然,她也确实比我大。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但当时我认为的可靠,也只是感觉罢了……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 给人的印象嘛……带着一种幽默感,而且很会关怀他人,但也在性别认同上经历着困难和内心挣扎。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她既展现了活泼的一面,但稍加发现,她又流露出了对自己处境的清醒认知。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"初识\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我与 Mika 初识于 23 年 7 月的最后一天晚上,她的意愿很明确,想磕我和江别的 CP。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"再后来,我才知道她是泉的恋人。即便在一起没多久,也在和她们的交流中得知两个人彼此非常爱对方。她当时是我的小铃铛\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-1\",id:\"footnote-ref-1\"},\"1\")),\"之一,我总能看到她与泉两个人秀恩爱。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我和她交谈的时候也逐渐意识到:\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 的家庭,在精神需求上的帮助很可能是枯竭的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她很缺爱,很缺人陪伴,会很滥情。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"大概隔了半个来月,我们四个人单独建了个小群。几乎每晚都会在一起打电话,有时候也会在语音室看着 Mika 玩杀机。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我很后悔从未看过 Mika 玩,很可惜我当时在研究各种赚钱的路子,来为自己的糖和独立出来的资金做准备。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"导火索\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"而钱,正是 Mika 绝望的导火索。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"8 月下旬的某天,Mika 炸柜了。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"原本只是非常正常的一件事情:家庭矛盾,家长不想让孩子 HRT,然后 Mika 离家出走结果被报警抓回来,最后在派出所协商调解矛盾。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"很正常的一件事情。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"当晚,我和泉,还有 Mika 在讨论她家的矛盾,给她心理疏导。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"泉发现自己有一直没用过,家里也不知道的两万块钱,在问我有没有什么吃利息的方法。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她们两个当时想法非常纯粹,就是一起逃出来。转天他们两个就去 CMB 开了个户。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"自从有了钱后,她们两个人经常性地高消费,在推上也发过推文,比如比较高档的约会之类的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"时间来到 9 月份\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"因为长期的高消费与单向感情依赖,我初步观测到她们两个人即便是亲密关系,但也出现了些裂痕。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"后来我才知道,Mika 去找了夜猫猫,而期间发生的事情令泉觉得难以接受。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但 Mika 只是想逃出来,受不了家里对她性别认同上的束缚。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"从 9.21 至 10.4 这段时间,Mika 与泉处在一个不健康的关系中\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"泉最后的一点钱也被 Mika 买了盒日雌……结果也没打几针。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 更多是想要被爱,被关照,所以尽可能讨好别人,但因为自身条件被束缚住,以至于她的爱对于泉是病态的,但也是真心的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"从下瓦房到天眼\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"10 月 15 日,Mika 突然找到我,问我能否接管她的 Twitter 账号。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我在去天图的路上,但突然意识到不对劲,我和怀安老师一致决定在下瓦房\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-2\",id:\"footnote-ref-2\"},\"2\")),\"下车,报警去救 Mika。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"出站之前,我和 Mika 短暂地打过电话,想着尽可能稳住她的情绪,不要上头。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「没用的,我把门反锁了」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「告诉泉泉我很爱她」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是 Mika 的遗言,而我当时真的很无力。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"details\",null,Vue.h(\"summary\",null,\"未完待续……\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我真正得到 Mika 逝世的消息 是在 10 月 24 日。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"鉴于之前比赛晋级,我去了三岔河口。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"少年宫里不让停车,于是我们在天眼下的停车场里换上衣服。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"结果……刚下车就收到了消息。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「没抢救回来。」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「这是永乐桥,上面架着天眼,是一个约会的好地方。如果可以的话,什么时候来这边玩,我请你们坐~」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「谢谢铨铨~打算过段时间想来坐一次诶,到时候铨铨一起嘛?」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是我脑中,望着天眼的回忆,这一切仿佛冻结住了。强忍着痛苦,即便没发挥好,但我完成了赛程中的最后一次演出。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"后来,问起了友人她对 Mika 的印象:\"),Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我感觉 Mika 也是个可怜的孩子,应该是没有安全感,想有人可以依靠。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"很多经历都和她很类似。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"身上全都是在家里被打留下的疤,我看了都想哭。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我想她应该……算是含冤而死,真的感觉她死的时候不像是解脱。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"据我的经验来看,死之前还是想得到爱,有个人能线下过去抱住她都好。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"本来我是可以的……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我之前说好的 12 月过去要和她过圣诞节。要包饺子,吃水煮虾。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"感觉她有一段时间像是在求我过去一样。\"),\"\\n\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"三岔河口,沿着子牙河和北运河一路北上,可以抵达北京。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"而如今,我站在三岔河口,过往美好的记忆与思绪交汇于此。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她的突然离开,让一切戛然而止,仿佛所有未完成的故事都被冻结在那个瞬间。那些约定——\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"包饺子、过圣诞节……\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"——如今都成了无处寄托的梦。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我想,Mika 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的电话\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「铨铨,其实咱很想为社群出一份力」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「咱想帮助很多同类活下去」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「但是咱的状态以及环境真的很难做到」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「如果有机会呢,未来我也许会开一家公司,就以小药娘做字号」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「我看到那些开避难所的姐姐们真的很伟大」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「要是我有一天能像她们一样 能帮上大家」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「那样的话该多好捏」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是小药娘网络科技的雏形\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"节选自\",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/ryq59\"},\"铨\"),\"茗居 星留阁 星痕志 2023 第三十三号\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"ol\",null,Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-1\"},\"「小铃铛」原指 Twitter 用户发送推文的通知推送功能,用户可以自行选择对自己跟随的用户打开或关闭。这里的「小铃铛」则是指铨在对一些互 fo 打开通知提醒来保证及时给自己的互 fo 点赞的行为,铨当时对自己大约 300 多位的互 fo 有这样的互动。\",Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-1\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 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No newline at end of file +"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\"},props.components),CapDownQuote=_components.CapDownQuote,PhotoScroll=_components.PhotoScroll;if(!CapDownQuote)_missingMdxReference(\"CapDownQuote\",true);if(!PhotoScroll)_missingMdxReference(\"PhotoScroll\",true);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"间关莺语花底滑,幽咽泉流冰下难。\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"h3\",{align:\"center\"},\"- 沉溺于爱与被爱 -\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"那么提到爱情伤人的话 是有必要提及 Mika 的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"blockquote\",null,Vue.h(CapDownQuote,{messages:[[\"但是遇到泉泉之后 我才知道能有人陪着是件多幸福的事。”\",\"“可现在我又要失去她……”\"],[\"“我不想再一个人走下去了”\",\"“一个人好痛苦 看不到希望”\"],[\"“在吗铨铨……”\",\"“我把我推特的账号密码交给你可以嘛……”\"],[\"“有点苦……”\",\"“泉妹要出发去日本了 可能是在登机 告诉她我爱她”\"],[\"“我买了杯冰激凌 一会肚子难受了就吃一口压一下”\",\"“不会痛苦的 不会的”\"]]})),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo1.png\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mikaela Khara,16 岁,北京人。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她是个学霸,曾就读于北京某高中的特殊班,家境还算不错。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"喜欢玩黎明杀机,研究网络工程。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"愿意与她交流的人很多,她的兴趣爱好也特别广泛,给人一种非常可靠的大姐姐的感觉,当然,她也确实比我大。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但当时我认为的可靠,也只是感觉罢了……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 给人的印象嘛……带着一种幽默感,而且很会关怀他人,但也在性别认同上经历着困难和内心挣扎。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她既展现了活泼的一面,但稍加发现,她又流露出了对自己处境的清醒认知。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"初识\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我与 Mika 初识于 23 年 7 月的最后一天晚上,她的意愿很明确,想磕我和江别的 CP。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"再后来,我才知道她是泉的恋人。即便在一起没多久,也在和她们的交流中得知两个人彼此非常爱对方。她当时是我的小铃铛\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-1\",id:\"footnote-ref-1\"},\"1\")),\"之一,我总能看到她与泉两个人秀恩爱。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我和她交谈的时候也逐渐意识到:\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 的家庭,在精神需求上的帮助很可能是枯竭的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她很缺爱,很缺人陪伴,会很滥情。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"大概隔了半个来月,我们四个人单独建了个小群。几乎每晚都会在一起打电话,有时候也会在语音室看着 Mika 玩杀机。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我很后悔从未看过 Mika 玩,很可惜我当时在研究各种赚钱的路子,来为自己的糖和独立出来的资金做准备。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"导火索\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"而钱,正是 Mika 绝望的导火索。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"8 月下旬的某天,Mika 炸柜了。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"原本只是非常正常的一件事情:家庭矛盾,家长不想让孩子 HRT,然后 Mika 离家出走结果被报警抓回来,最后在派出所协商调解矛盾。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"很正常的一件事情。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"当晚,我和泉,还有 Mika 在讨论她家的矛盾,给她心理疏导。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"泉发现自己有一直没用过,家里也不知道的两万块钱,在问我有没有什么吃利息的方法。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她们两个当时想法非常纯粹,就是一起逃出来。转天他们两个就去 CMB 开了个户。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"自从有了钱后,她们两个人经常性地高消费,在推上也发过推文,比如比较高档的约会之类的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"时间来到 9 月份\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"因为长期的高消费与单向感情依赖,我初步观测到她们两个人即便是亲密关系,但也出现了些裂痕。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"后来我才知道,Mika 去找了夜猫猫,而期间发生的事情令泉觉得难以接受。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但 Mika 只是想逃出来,受不了家里对她性别认同上的束缚。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"从 9.21 至 10.4 这段时间,Mika 与泉处在一个不健康的关系中\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"泉最后的一点钱也被 Mika 买了盒日雌……结果也没打几针。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 更多是想要被爱,被关照,所以尽可能讨好别人,但因为自身条件被束缚住,以至于她的爱对于泉是病态的,但也是真心的。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"从下瓦房到天眼\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"10 月 15 日,Mika 突然找到我,问我能否接管她的 Twitter 账号。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我在去天图的路上,但突然意识到不对劲,我和怀安老师一致决定在下瓦房\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-2\",id:\"footnote-ref-2\"},\"2\")),\"下车,报警去救 Mika。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"出站之前,我和 Mika 短暂地打过电话,想着尽可能稳住她的情绪,不要上头。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「没用的,我把门反锁了」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「告诉泉泉我很爱她」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是 Mika 的遗言,而我当时真的很无力。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"details\",null,Vue.h(\"summary\",null,\"未完待续……\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我真正得到 Mika 逝世的消息 是在 10 月 24 日。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"鉴于之前比赛晋级,我去了三岔河口。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"少年宫里不让停车,于是我们在天眼下的停车场里换上衣服。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"结果……刚下车就收到了消息。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「没抢救回来。」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「这是永乐桥,上面架着天眼,是一个约会的好地方。如果可以的话,什么时候来这边玩,我请你们坐~」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「谢谢铨铨~打算过段时间想来坐一次诶,到时候铨铨一起嘛?」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是我脑中,望着天眼的回忆,这一切仿佛冻结住了。强忍着痛苦,即便没发挥好,但我完成了赛程中的最后一次演出。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"后来,问起了友人她对 Mika 的印象:\"),Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我感觉 Mika 也是个可怜的孩子,应该是没有安全感,想有人可以依靠。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"很多经历都和她很类似。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"身上全都是在家里被打留下的疤,我看了都想哭。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我想她应该……算是含冤而死,真的感觉她死的时候不像是解脱。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"据我的经验来看,死之前还是想得到爱,有个人能线下过去抱住她都好。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"本来我是可以的……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我之前说好的 12 月过去要和她过圣诞节。要包饺子,吃水煮虾。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"感觉她有一段时间像是在求我过去一样。\"),\"\\n\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"三岔河口,沿着子牙河和北运河一路北上,可以抵达北京。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"而如今,我站在三岔河口,过往美好的记忆与思绪交汇于此。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她的突然离开,让一切戛然而止,仿佛所有未完成的故事都被冻结在那个瞬间。那些约定——\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"包饺子、过圣诞节……\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"——如今都成了无处寄托的梦。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我想,Mika 并不是真正想离开这个世界,她只是太渴望有人能听见她内心的呐喊,能拥抱她,给她一个停靠的港湾。在这个复杂的世界里,她活得太清醒,却又太孤独。那些她不断掩饰的痛苦,最终像洪水般将她吞没。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「如果当时我能早点意识到,再坚定一点,是不是一切都会不同?」这个问题像梦魇般徘徊在脑海。可是时间无情地向前,留给我们的只有遗憾和无尽的思念。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"站在三岔河口,寒风拂面,眼前是连绵不断的河流——它们汇聚、分流,又不断地向渤海流去,像生命本身一样无法回头。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 说过:「希望有一天能一起坐在天眼上看风景。」\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我知道,她或许再也看不到那天的景色了。但她的故事、她的爱、她那不被理解的执着,永远会留在那些记得她的人心里。\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"爱从未走远,只是我们再也无法亲口对她说了。\"),Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo2.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo3.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo4.jpg\"]})),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"后记\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika 的故事,有很多我没有办法直接拿出来讲。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"包括家庭、朋友……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"以及某些身边人的意见都是,建议我很多东西不要公开来写。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"于是我只能写到了这里。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"某天晚上\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"我在群聊里和 Mika 的电话\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「铨铨,其实咱很想为社群出一份力」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「咱想帮助很多同类活下去」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「但是咱的状态以及环境真的很难做到」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「如果有机会呢,未来我也许会开一家公司,就以小药娘做字号」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「我看到那些开避难所的姐姐们真的很伟大」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「要是我有一天能像她们一样 能帮上大家」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「那样的话该多好捏」\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"这是小药娘网络科技的雏形\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"节选自\",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/yqua_\"},\"铨\"),\"茗居 星留阁 星痕志 2023 第三十三号\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"ol\",null,Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-1\"},\"「小铃铛」原指 Twitter 用户发送推文的通知推送功能,用户可以自行选择对自己跟随的用户打开或关闭。这里的「小铃铛」则是指铨在对一些互 fo 打开通知提醒来保证及时给自己的互 fo 点赞的行为,铨当时对自己大约 300 多位的互 fo 有这样的互动。\",Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-1\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 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No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.md b/people/mikaela_khara/page.md index 300e3c5f..8fa34dbf 100644 --- a/people/mikaela_khara/page.md +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.md @@ -5,7 +5,9 @@ info: location: 中国北京 --- -> 沉溺于爱与被爱…… +> 间关莺语花底滑,幽咽泉流冰下难。 + +