[+] Add english page

people/XingZ60/page.en.md

@@ -1,8 +1,522 @@
 ---
 name: XingZ60
 info: 
-    alias: 璃璃, Z60
+    alias: Lili, Z60
     location: Beijing, China
 ---
 
-(To-Do)
+> Yes, life is a game, so living is my right, not my obligation. So, I can even do something while holding a cyanide capsule. I’m willing to do it, and I am preparing to do it. That means, in some dangerous situations, I might even do such things. In situations where I might get caught, I would still say, "Yes, I’ll do it," and I will absolutely not let my enemies get me."
+
+## Introduction
+
+XingZ60 (modern pharmaceutical circle); originally known as Z60 (limelight); Wu Siya (Zhihu).
+Her Zhihu years were as a cross-dressing boy. In early 2022, after losing her phone, she became a part of limelight and continued her activities there, still maintaining the cross-dressing persona. Until July 2022, when things started to spiral, and in October 2022, she attempted suicide for the first time. Afterward, she withdrew from the scene for a period, from October 2022 to April 2023. During this time, she returned, diving deeper into cross-dressing culture, until her final downfall in September 2023. Afterward, she was diagnosed with a condition.
+This is something that cannot be changed.
+
+<PhotoScroll photos={[ '${path}/photos/image0.webp', ]} />
+
+In her view, helping others, especially vulnerable groups, to survive, live, and develop better has always been very important. In her spare time, she organized and participated in numerous suicide intervention and rescue operations, which had a significant impact in daily life. Her actions helped others, especially vulnerable groups, and through her efforts, she did her utmost to prevent self-harm and even suicide.
+
+> Z60 is the second biggest fool I've ever met.
+>
+> <p style="text-align: end;">——Iryangzi, February 7, 2025</p>
+
+## Dedication
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Lingyu, December 24, 2024</h3><br/>This article is written in memory of my late friend XingZ60</summary>
+<p style="text-align: center;">(I. Foreword)</p>
+
+According to XingZ60's will, I am writing this article to commemorate her.
+
+This article should have been written long ago, but first, because of the significant impact XingZ60 had on me, and my limited linguistic ability, I felt that a few words wouldn’t do her justice; second, her passing had a profound shock on me. So this article has been left unfinished. Later, after my mental state recovered somewhat, I began to try to understand and recognize XingZ60 from various perspectives, which led to this article.
+
+Some people say XingZ60 was an "abstract" person, and everyone had a unique understanding of her. The XingZ60 presented in this article might only reflect my personal understanding; this is just one opinion—take it or leave it, as the saying goes. It’s important to listen to many voices and not just one.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(II)</p>
+
+"Respecting the deceased" seems to be an unquestionable, self-evident truth for most of us. However, the concept of "respecting the deceased" seems to be understood differently by everyone.
+
+We witnessed XingZ60's parents manage her appearance at her funeral in a traditional male gender expression and hung a large photo of her with short hair at the center of the memorial hall. We also saw them throw her ashes into the trunk of a car. Many were shocked and angered by her parents' actions. It seemed that the respect for the deceased in her parents' eyes was overshadowed by social customs and deeply ingrained biases of the living.
+
+Throughout history, people have tended to focus on the positive aspects of a person's life in memorials, often avoiding or ignoring their faults. For example, Wu Zetian's tombstone is blank, and her deeds are judged by future generations. In this case, XingZ60 was somewhat like Wu Zetian. She once said, "When someone dies, all matters—right or wrong—are 'decided by the lid of the coffin'; people can evaluate them." This was also reflected in her will, where she invited people with differing viewpoints to write parts of *One Among Us* and left a message saying, "Anyone who wants to write, can write."
+
+Since XingZ60's thoughts were like this, I’ll just write some stories. I’ll include some thoughts she brought me but try not to make value judgments about her actions. Let the "right or wrong" be evaluated by future generations.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(III)</p>
+
+XingZ60 seemed to have a split personality; she once said she had at least three personalities—"Xingyun" (Star Cloud), "Huanyun" (Illusion Dream), and "Benhuan" (Benzene Ring). One personality identified as male, another as female, and the third one’s gender identity is unclear to me.
+
+I once thought of XingZ60 as a transgender woman for a long time, but after learning about her situation, I pondered for a long time—perhaps this is more akin to being Gender Fluid, and no personal pronoun seems entirely suitable for her.
+
+This was the first time I encountered such a friend. Later, I saw a pin shaped like a rotating dial on another friend's bag—divided into sky blue (he), pink (she), and purple (they), which could be rotated to indicate one’s gender identity. This might suit her perfectly.
+
+However, if we step back a level, the real confusion stems from the conflict between XingZ60’s personalities. The issue of personal pronouns might be just a reflection of this conflict in the realm of gender. What about in other areas? Perhaps each of her personalities had different temperaments, personalities, abilities, needs, interests, ideals, and values. As friends, how should we treat these personalities or this "combination of multiple personalities"? If her will only represents the will of one of her personalities, is it still valid? By fulfilling her will and writing this article, am I respecting the deceased, or am I not?
+
+I studied law and hold a legal qualification certificate, but I don’t know the answer to this question. I tried searching online, but all I found were standard, rigid applications of legal provisions: "Whether a person with split personalities has civil capacity depends on whether they can recognize their behavior." It seems these answers don’t fundamentally resolve the issue.
+
+Some even tried to patch this by saying, "If the behavior was done by the 'normal' personality, it's valid; if done by the 'abnormal' personality, it's invalid." But how do we distinguish between a "normal" and an "abnormal" personality? Why do outsiders arbitrarily label "Xingyun" as the "normal" personality and "Huanyun" as the "abnormal" one (or vice versa)?
+
+I don't know the answers to these questions.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(IV)</p>
+
+XingZ60 (or perhaps one of her personalities) once publicly made jokes about other sexual minorities who had passed away. As a result, some of her friends also joked about her after her death. This sparked quite a debate—some of her friends believed that by XingZ60 joking about the deceased, she was someone who "accepted jokes about the deceased," and making jokes about her was a way of respecting her behavior and values. Others, however, found it unacceptable, and an argument ensued, ending in a chaotic mess.
+
+Yes, human joys and sorrows do not connect, nor do their ways of thinking. But who can be blamed? People’s mental and nervous systems develop differently, their environments and life experiences vary greatly, and their rationality and emotions are heavily controlled by neurochemicals. The depth of thought and communication needed for mutual understanding takes enormous energy. As a result, human freedom is still constrained by uncontrollable conditions. Or, to put it another way, "freedom is always bound by shackles"—and for this reason, mediation often becomes futile, and resonance between people of different views is a rare luxury. Instead, people fight, attack, and hurt each other. The world thus becomes a disguised arena.
+
+"Some group" is even such an arena. People mock each other, and offline, they even physically attack each other. I once tried to mediate "some group’s" conflicts, relentlessly and without boundaries, but this didn’t result in much success, and even backfired. XingZ60 said this:
+
+> "I understand both sides, but I can’t reconcile them."
+
+How helpless this reality is. And such helplessness exists everywhere in life. Whether it’s between people or between people and things.
+
+Faced with such a conflict, XingZ60’s solution was to create separate groups to isolate the two sides. If people who succeeded through their own efforts attacked those who sought attention through hardship, she simply separated them into different groups. So, she created a new group:
+
+> "This is the place to lick wounds, not to display superiority."
+
+She included many people in that group whom she considered unsuccessful in worldly terms (even considered failures), many of whom had engaged in self-harm and drug abuse. But XingZ60 showed great tolerance towards these people:
+
+> "They are all forced into it."
+
+XingZ60 even said:
+
+> "I’m no different from you. Although I look like a high-achieving student from Beihang University, that year the cutoff score was quite low, and I only got in by luck. I should have been just like all of you."
+
+Later, I realized that XingZ60 wasn’t blaming anyone. She was just empathizing with the unfortunate ones. She regarded all of us as equals.
+
+Later, I went online to check the admission score line of Beihang University that year, and found that there was no gap in the admission score line that year.
+
+I didn't take it seriously at the time, until I heard about the story of another friend - the general situation was that he grew up in a single-parent family and was emotionally neglected by his guardian while growing up; such an environment shaped his distorted personality, causing him to become addicted to drug abuse and be dealt with by the public security authorities.
+
+After hearing this story and thinking about it, I suddenly had a creepy feeling of surviving a disaster: if my life was also "interrupted" by chance, and I started out in a single-parent family with no emotional support, then my ending might not be much better than that of this friend. Maybe I should have been shot for murder and arson.
+
+XingZ60's parents are both teachers. This seemed to make me suddenly understand XingZ60's "modesty" about her academic qualifications, and for a time I regarded XingZ60 as a god in my heart. Later, I suddenly realized that there was no need for this. Because, by the same logic, if I "upgrade" to XingZ60's life, then "I can do it too"; if XingZ60 "breaks down" and becomes my life, then "TA can't step down either".
+
+Thinking of this, I suddenly felt a sense of relief in my heart.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(V)</p>
+
+However, the way the world works is not controlled by a single variable.
+
+Of course, the beginning of life is just one of the variables. It may be an important variable, but it is not the only variable.
+
+The world is a huge web, with seven billion people acting together on it, collectively exerting large or small influences on the direction of this web.
+
+Everyone is a part of this big network, being influenced by it and also influencing it.
+
+No one knows what kind of people they will meet or what kind of things will happen on this big Internet; nor can they predict what impact these things will have on their future.
+
+When XingZ60 died, some people blamed themselves:
+
+> If only I had looked at him more.
+> I should have noticed that his mental state was not right.
+> There was something wrong with the meal he treated me to the day before yesterday. I was so dumbfounded that I didn’t react.
+> I was free that day, otherwise I would have gone straight to the hospital.
+
+However, the arrival of the "big net" was so accidental. It just so happened that XingZ60 encountered a not-so-good growing environment, and it just so happened that her parents knew everything, and it just so happened that no one had time, and it just so happened that the hospital couldn't find out what the disease was, and it just so happened that all the coincidences came together.
+
+So this is the result.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(VI)</p>
+
+But XingZ60 still hopes that I will "stick to what I insist on" - which should mean "mediate the conflict."
+
+But I guess I really can't keep on insisting anymore. XingZ60's way of understanding these interpersonal conflicts seemed to have turned into something that was deeply rooted in me. It seems like I have inherited a little bit of his thoughts and continue to live - maybe one day when I die, if someone reads what I wrote and gains some insights, they will also live with these feelings...
+
+Later, I came across a famous quote by a poet: "When a person dies, it is like water disappearing into water."
+
+So I opened the window, and what came into view was the boundless sea with spring flowers in full bloom.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(VII)</p>
+
+However, "Genshin Impact" is a brand new open world adventure game independently developed by miHoYo. XingZ60 just plays "Genshin Impact". This "Genshin Impact" is not that "Genshin Impact"; for example, "Wu Meng DX", which is called "Arcade Genshin Impact" by everyone, is also a type of "Genshin Impact".
+
+XingZ60 has complained more than once that "Genshin Impact" is very annoying, and has expressed the idea of ​​quitting the game - every day she has to face the same daily tasks, repeating them day after day, and if she doesn't complete the tasks for a day, she will receive one less daily reward. However, when talking about quitting, he would always force himself to stop. However, one day, the following conversation occurred between me and him:
+
+> Hey, have you played the new song updated on the Chinese server? It’s called Trans Something or the Light. It’s really fun. Other songs are tap, slide or tap, tap, slide, but this song is tap, tap, tap, slide. It’s really fun.
+
+I vaguely remember that there was laughter in his tone at that time.
+
+Later, I hugged him and said goodbye. This was the first time I hugged him/her, and he/she looked very happy.
+
+> "I am so entangled with you, dokoma-demo-kun."
+
+The glory is always there, and I will be with you wherever you are.
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">(VIII. Written at the end)</p>
+
+I have written so much without realizing it. Perhaps, what I think are the more important experiences with him/her and the thoughts and ideas that he/she has brought to me should all be written here. Due to length and other reasons, I think this article should end here. There are many stories in life that are the same and different every day. Some of them I will present in other ways, and others I will just let remain in my memories.
+
+</details>
+
+> 補
+>
+> <p style="text-align: end;">——繪都 2024年12月17日</p>
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Impermanence May 4, 2024 Cloudy</h3><br/>You wanted me to write what you called the "final conclusion" part for you, so I wrote it. </summary>
+
+In this regard, I always have a problem: I am almost the person you designated who spends the least time with you and knows you the least. Why did you choose me, and what do you want to see me write? I think you should know that when you choose the people who write this section for you, you also choose the content that will be presented in this section. Many things about you, especially those that are generally considered bad, I only learned about them after you passed away. Perhaps if you hadn't ended your life so simply, I would have had the chance to hear you tell me these things in person, but there is really no chance anymore. I decided to write only based on my experiences with you while you were still alive. This is probably what you want, right?
+
+In addition, there is another difficult dilemma: it is difficult for me to describe what kind of person you are as you want, and it is difficult to summarize you with concise words and capable sentences. People's deviations and imaginations in their understanding of words and short sentences will deviate from your true self. So please allow me to recall and narrate some past events that have connected me with you and make some lengthy and vague evaluations. As for what kind of person you are, please let the friends who come to this page to mourn find out from these words. Of course, no matter who reads these words, they will feel that it is more appropriate to put them in the comments section, but please allow me to complete what you have asked me to do in the way that I can barely do. This is my privilege as a living person towards you as a dead person. If you were still alive, these things would not happen.
+
+The only time I met you was on August 12, 2023. During that time, I had just ended a long period of hesitation and decided to start GAHT and get in touch with the transgender community. I still remember the scene of our meeting very clearly. At noon, I was sitting in a KFC seat with a window near the street opposite the Peking University Third Hospital and eating lunch. When I saw you push open the door and come in wearing a blue, pink and white mask, I unintentionally pulled out a chair to greet you. Later I discovered that I had actually been in contact with you in the online world for a long time. I am a nobody in the QQ group who dares not speak much, and often just watches silently. Although you always say that you are numb to everything including tragedy, you always provide medication advice to those in need, always comfort those who are hurt, and always make decisive judgments and effective arrangements in response to crises. In my heart, you have always been a knowledgeable, lovely, respectable and approachable helper. You always try to be tolerant and understanding of everyone, and always do your best, even giving your all.
+
+At that time, as a transgender girl who was just starting out in many things, it was a great fortune for me to meet you. I regard you as a respected senior and a close sister. You would share some unique perspectives with me, give me GAHT advice, and teach me how to fight against the malice from every corner of the world... At that time, when you were in the active group chat, people would always argue over something. I always feel something similar from your speeches, of course, yours is always much deeper than mine. This made me very interested in your ideas, but I am not good at communicating with people, so we agreed to have a serious chat during the winter vacation. At that time, I didn’t know that all this would become impossible in less than a month.
+
+Although I was an eyewitness to the "Werewolf Killing" that occurred on December 21, 2023, I still don't know the full story, let alone figure it out. At that time, I was attracted by your profound thoughts and gentle personality, and it was impossible for me to accept that you said such words and did such things. I was instantly disheartened and didn't have any desire to think or ask about it anymore. I chose to stay away from you quietly. But I never thought that just a few days later, I would hear the tragic news of your suicide. I never thought that I could only listen to your situation as told by others. I never thought that the separation on that day might be a real separation. At that time, I found that I was like a stubborn and sulky child. I didn't want to leave you at all, and I didn't want you to leave either.
+
+On December 26, I asked for a dextromethorphan medicine box to make a handmade gift for a friend in another group chat where you were, and you promised to give me one. On the 27th you said you forgot to send the express delivery because of an emergency. I simply thought you were busy with something and didn't care about you at all. When I opened the package on the 30th, someone had told me that you had committed suicide. I hurriedly dug out the express delivery label from the trash can, wanting to keep it as a souvenir, but I didn't expect that I would tear your name neatly in the middle horizontally. All the anxiety, regret and sadness were concentrated in that moment. I was deeply afraid that all this foreshadowed an irreparable tragedy...
+
+The day after I heard the news, I started to have a fever, a fever I had never experienced before. During this period, I could only repeat between pure drowsiness and pure crying with a high fever. Although there seemed to be some not-so-bad news during this period, my memory is really vague, and these not-so-bad news did not turn into not-so-bad facts.
+
+Finally, at 23:56 on January 1, 2024, the nebula, which used to have powerful vitality, shining and changing, quietly dissipated in the boundless darkness of the universe, became a part of the silence, and merged into the cold darkness.
+I read your will with a feeling that I don't know how to describe. There was almost nothing about you in it. It was all about your care, instructions and messages to your friends. When everything for you might be over, you were still caring about the people around you.
+
+I have some selfish desires that I am not ashamed of. If I had not left your personal group on December 21, 2023 because of those things, I would have been able to get a share of your relics as a souvenir, and I would definitely have been able to hear a few of the words you wanted to say to me. In your last words, write what you want to say to your group members at the very beginning. Before reading the will, I didn't know that you cared so much about everyone in that group. My action of leaving the group and distancing myself from you not only caused me endless regret in the future, but also must have hurt you at that time. You didn't say anything to me in your will, but you chose me to be the one to write these things on those autumn leaves. I don't understand why, so just consider it as a punishment for me. However, compared with other people, the interactions between you and me are too few. Maybe you just feel that there is nothing much to say to me. I don’t know, or maybe you have simply forgotten.
+
+I followed my original idea and gave the quicksand mahjong made from the dextromethorphan medicine box you gave me to a friend instead of keeping it for myself as a souvenir. She was also sad that she didn't have the chance to meet you and really get to know you.
+
+It is only in the days when you were gone that I deeply feel your influence on me in every aspect of my daily life. Not only is my GAHT plan almost identical to yours, I have also unconsciously internalized many of your concepts, which play a large role in the decision-making of my life. Although I used to feel that your practice of burning paper, medicine boxes and changing gray portraits to commemorate the deceased was pretentious, I was away from home and could not attend the farewell ceremony to mourn you in person, so I don't know what other reasons drove me to do this for you. In addition to these natural actions, I can't help but think seriously about how I can become a person like you in my eyes. I want to be like you and share the beauty and goodness you bring to me with more people who need them. I hope I can do it.
+
+I am still in my own predicament and see no hope, which makes me miss you even more. I've never told you this, but I guess you won't hate it. Whenever I feel hopeless for various reasons and find it difficult to express or communicate with others, I always wish I could hear what you would say about this situation. Even if I had talked to you more in the past, if I could remember more of your thoughts, I might be able to try to find a way out of them, and my helplessness might be alleviated. I also think that if I could internalize your outlook on life and your view on life, which may seem crazy to others, then I would be able to live freely.
+
+Many things have ended, but many things are still going on. Many people died, but many people still have to continue living.
+
+You often compare the past and future changes in the transgender community to an ongoing war, which I didn’t take seriously in the past. I thought it was a bit naive. But for now, wish me good luck in this war, wish us good luck.
+I don't know what kind of feelings I have for you, but I feel that at least I loved you.
+
+</details>
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Touno December 31, 2024</h3><br/>It is with heavy hearts that we mourn the loss of a brave and resilient soul. She lives in a world that is not friendly to her, and endures the pressure from social discipline and endless prejudice, but always chooses to move forward in her own way. </summary>
+
+She is a microcosm of countless marginalized individuals, looking for their own place in loneliness and struggle. Although the coldness and oppression of society eventually made her choose to leave, the meaning of her life far exceeds her departure. Her story reminds us that those who are marginalized are not weaklings, but warriors who bear a heavy social burden.
+
+Although her life was short, it was like a candle flame, bringing some light to others. She uses her own experience to tell us that there is too much inequality and neglect in the world, and those ignored voices urgently need to be heard. The injustice she endured reminds us to reflect: Does society give every individual enough tolerance and respect? Every time she struggles, she calls people’s attention to the challenges faced by the transgender community. It is this silent cry that engraves her existence in our hearts.
+
+Her passing makes us extremely sad, but it also makes us realize the responsibility we have on our shoulders. Every life should be cherished and every identity should be embraced. Her existence shows us that the transgender community still faces discrimination, isolation and injustice. Her departure is an indictment of society and a call to each of us. We mourn her not only to express our grief, but also to respond to her departure with action: to use more understanding and efforts to change society, to eliminate prejudices, and to build a fairer and warmer world.
+
+May she be free from all shackles in the other world, be free to be herself, and have the peace and happiness that she longed for but never truly obtained in her life. We miss her courage, remember her story, and use her passing as a force for change. Her life will not be forgotten and her spirit will live on in our efforts.
+
+</details>
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Mikä:<br/>"Well Dying, Well Dying, Well Dying, meow"<br/></h3><p style="text-align: end;">Mikä, January 23, 2025</p></summary>
+<BlurBlock>
+
+I don't know why Mikä didn't appear in the list of people designated for XingZ60's epitaph.
+
+So I originally thought that since this is the case, maybe it would be better for me not to make any comments without authorization.
+
+However, there seems to be a catch-all clause: "Anyone who wants to write can write."
+
+Oh, it seems that I shouldn't mention it.
+
+After all, I spent several afternoons looking out the window at Jinji Lake and listening to XingZ60's voice before writing down this part of the so-called suicide note.
+
+And perhaps because of the above, there is a close connection between me and XingZ60's departure that cannot be ignored.
+
+It may also include the so-called Fake Haku role-playing game.
+
+After all, I've been playing with him for so long, literally playing to death, hehe
+
+<br/>
+
+I didn't expect that I would lose this game so thoroughly.
+
+But I didn't expect that I lost the game between two parties and the other party didn't win either.
+
+But who won? If you think about it carefully, I, Lingyu, Kouhaku and you all won.
+
+If I explain the reason, this message, which was meant to be brief, will become too long.
+
+I think the human brain can understand it.
+
+</BlurBlock>
+</details>
+
+## wing February 9, 2025
+
+I didn't know him very well, but in my opinion he was a good man who supported some disadvantaged people and did a lot of unnecessary and troublesome things. He once tried to suppress his feminine personality and claimed that he would die if he let it go. I thought HRT would make him better and encourage him to be himself, but I didn't expect this result.
+
+Perhaps it would have been better to encourage him to correct his mistakes. In my opinion, he is a rational person, just like Zifeng, but they are both dead, okay. And they are all overdose, overdose is harmful to people!
+
+It has been more than a year since then. I hope he can rest in peace.
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">White Hair Suki February 4, 2025</h3></summary>
+
+My acquaintance with XingZ60 originated from my exploration of my own gender. We met during the exploration and had similar conversations. Perhaps we were of the same type or had many other similarities. We became very familiar with each other after knowing each other for seven days. Just 72 days left an indelible mark on your life.
+
+XingZ60 is a very simple person. When I expressed my anxiety about learning about weight, she not only gave me experience and help, but also said, "Take it slow."
+
+At school, I often call or chat with her to ease the boredom of studying in the third year of high school, listen to them talk about various interesting things, and listen to their stories. From this we learn that Lili is actually quite indifferent to life and death, which adds more fun to the grand funeral. Perhaps it was because of depression that death was not far away from her, and perhaps this day would always come. But I never thought it would come so suddenly, and I fell into depression for half a year...
+
+When I discussed my own spiritual exploration with her, she commented on my words as "hopeless". In her last words, she told me not to flip over. Perhaps she was advising me based on her own experience, but I still embarked on this difficult road.
+
+From what others said, XingZ60 is more complicated and abstract than I had imagined. What I know is just the tip of the iceberg, either because of Yasasi or because of lack of time. But anyway, the second half of XingZ60 is as interesting as a game. I regret that I will never have the chance to meet you again, but in a corner of my heart there will always be a guy named XingZ60 teasing me.
+
+<br/>
+
+The sun will eventually set
+
+The dream is about to be shattered
+
+XingZ60 cuts through the sky and falls into the atmosphere
+
+</details>
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Happy New Year, brother and sister-in-law. You are my grandfather and I am your son.</h3><br/>Three sentences to support the title: blank/quotation marks Written at 23:56 on January 1, 2024 when I collapsed.</summary>
+
+> "Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabathani?!" [^2]
+>
+> And more permanently pity their future, yet hate their present. [^3]
+>
+> This ugly world doesn't deserve her beauty
+>
+> Maybe All Transgender People Are Really Vampires
+>
+
+---
+
+2024.1.2 09.26 Tang Ze: Friends who want to say goodbye to XingZ60 can go to Changping Funeral Home to pay their respects today.
+
+——The funeral held for him by XingZ60’s parents
+
+2024.1.2 Afternoon Blank: I plan to have a simple funeral that truly belongs to "her" in the evening
+
+——Blank initiated but not hosted, everyone spontaneously gathered together to hold a small memorial ceremony for her
+
+---
+
+*Theoretically, there are no homophones in the following text
+
+Seven sentences to solve the problem:
+
+<p style="text-align: center;">⊕⊕⊕⊕</p>
+
+It turned out that she had already made the worst plan.
+
+Originally, it was to accomplish her goal.
+
+A farce
+
+However, some people have forced their own children into a dead end, while they themselves sleep peacefully on the iron bed in the hospital.
+At the end of her life, she was not even given the humble rights she expected. The child did not receive the respect that a self-aware individual should have from beginning to end, and was not even regarded as a "person"...
+
+</details>
+
+> Passionate like the blazing sun
+>
+> Always strengthen others' hesitation
+>
+> She told all the lies
+>
+> She bore all the sorrow alone
+>
+> Unexpected
+>
+> <p style="text-align: end;">——Jie Cheng Tian Zou 2024.1.1</p>
+
+### Nine Realities
+
+<details>
+<summary>YuLi 【Paranoia】<br/><p style="text-align: center;">☉☉☉☉</p></summary>
+
+This story happened not long ago.
+
+A firefly was trapped in a cage made of maggots.
+
+People sang praises to his happiness
+
+he
+
+but
+
+Honey makes the birds' throats hoarse, and their singing is no longer pleasant.
+
+The iron thread imprisons the bird's soul, and even if it screams hoarsely, it cannot convey its voice.
+
+Laughter is also his sadness
+
+Singing praises will also make her lonely
+
+If there is no dream, everything that people pursue will eventually become nothing.
+
+If you lose your faith, everything that others expect of you will become a heavy shackle.
+
+A caged bird in melancholy, crying alone on countless nights,
+
+I imagine myself as a shooting star outside the cage, fleeting but extremely shining
+
+I wish I were a starving creature, cold and hungry, yet free.
+
+The iron bars choked her throat, the spider threads pierced her heart
+
+You'll find it in the trash.
+
+The last words of the envoy were as follows:
+
+Is it really possible to have everything without doing anything?
+
+It should be that I can do nothing and have nothing...
+
+The color of life should not be gray,
+
+Can the free will shine forever?
+
+My body may rot in a garbage can,
+
+But at least, my ideal
+
+I hope it can fly in the sky
+
+Taken from "[Bird in a Cage](https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV17Q4y1s7j1)", author Jie Cheng Tian Zou Official
+
+A few deletions
+
+(Part of the inspiration for the adaptation came from the work "The First Class of Rhode Island Institute of Technology")
+
+(All references to Jiecheng Tianzou's works in this article have been authorized by Jiecheng Tianzou himself)
+
+"Lingluo, what do you think is the saddest thing in the world?"
+
+"Butterfly. The ugly caterpillar finally forgets its weakness and its identity as a pest in its dream, but it grows beautiful wings again. It is awakened by the light and forced to realize that it is still alive. Then it has to tear open the cave where it lives with its own hands. The more painful it is, the more blood fills its wings, and the more it wakes up, and then once again it is for the law of beauty and the beautiful law of "living in pain." They can fly, but they can only live among the vulgar flowers, looking up at the eagles in the sky that can never be reached. Then death suddenly comes, and they are deprived of even the little height they were so proud of. They can't even experience a heroic death by falling, they just float lightly, lightly..."
+
+</details>
+
+### Zero Weight Prayer
+<details>
+<summary>YuLi 【Paranoia】<br/><p style="text-align: center;">☿☿☿☿☿☿</p></summary>
+
+> Maybe All Transgender People Are Really Vampires
+>
+> Author: Chrysanthemum Tran
+>
+> Maybe all trans people are vampires
+>
+> Of course I'm not saying you'll get burned by the sun
+>
+> Or longing for a girl's neck
+>
+> After all, most transgenders can't even be sure that their blood won't splatter on the sidewalk as they walk home.
+>
+> I don't live in a Transylvanian castle either
+>
+> Even though I am a queen
+>
+> Whenever I am insulted by others, it is like being burned by silver
+>
+> I admit that Transylvania is indeed a refuge for marginalized people to survive
+>
+> But the expected sense of security is even more of an illusion than a fictional monster.
+>
+> I am a prey with weird fangs
+>
+> When was the last time you saw someone like me?
+>
+> Did you see the light of the torches in the hands of the thugs?
+>
+> and the pitchforks that come stabbing at you?
+>
+> At this point, don't they want to put a stake through my head?
+
+Everyone knows that existence is reasonable.
+
+XingZ60 once asked me, why do trans people like us exist? What is the meaning of existence? To increase ethnic diversity and improve risk resistance? Or is it just a structural bug with little impact?
+
+In his book What is Life, Schrödinger once proposed a viewpoint: living things are formed and survive in a universe tending towards heat death by actively absorbing negative entropy, and this may be the significance of living things in the universe.
+
+However, how should we, who have been swept up by the storm caused by the butterfly's unintentional flapping of its wings, face such a contradictory reality as a foregone conclusion?
+
+At that time, I was faced with these problems. . . Silence for a long time, no answer
+
+Now also
+
+At that moment I finally realized that I was not naturally good at understating things, but was born weak and clumsy.
+
+---
+
+Sorry, XingZ60, even in the field I am best at
+
+My ability is only limited to this extent.
+
+It is impossible to describe your life and deeds vividly with words that are too flowery or logical enough.
+
+But I will listen to your advice and work hard, I will definitely
+
+---
+
+Someone once said, facing the sea, spring is here and flowers are blooming;
+
+Some people say that from now on, all human beings will no longer have to buy fruits and vegetables.
+
+Someone once said that when you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you.
+
+Someone once said that someone once claimed to be the sun, with infinite light and heat.
+
+But He is not the sun, He is mad.
+
+It's a pity, because we are all insects, and desire is just a cross-section of fear.
+
+</details>
+
+<details>
+<summary><h3 style="display:inline-block; ">Jinxin February 10, 2025</h3><br/>Unfortunately, due to personal reasons, my memory is a bit problematic. As of the time I wrote this paragraph (February 10, 2025), I have almost completely forgotten what kind of person z60 is. You also need to ask people when z60 will die. In my memory, z60 is just a person who once lived. </summary>
+
+I said a long time ago that I hated Cybertron. With the closure of limelight, I withdrew from the transgender community and stopped caring about these things. Maybe I don’t hate it as much now, but I still can’t say I like it.
+
+To be honest, I don't want to comment. If z60 hadn't assigned me to write a paragraph, I wouldn't have taken on such a drudgery. The dead are little girls who can be dressed up by anyone. This is true even for living people who cannot speak. I have experienced this once. I really hate using my own partial memories to cut up a person who once lived, symbolize the cross section, and place it in a funeral hall for people to pay homage. Even if there are more cross sections, it is not enough. Lamenting “that person once lived” in front of a portrait will not touch the soul at all. Moreover, as the soul is forgotten, the mask will replace its once living owner. Very boring. Fortunately, I have forgotten most of the things about the z60, and I can't even draw a portrait.
+
+- Some time before z60 died, she suddenly came to me and asked me if I could be her kaishakunin, so of course I refused on the spot. (I don’t remember which personality she had at that time. I also deleted the chat history. Forget it, I’ll just follow her.)
+
+- I seem to have talked a lot with z60 when limelight was still alive. But I totally don't remember it. I just remember that at that time he (perhaps he still thought of himself as a transgender cisgender man?) spoke more clearly.
+
+- We never spoke to each other after that? Anyway, I just focused on doing my own thing. I'm not sure. I really don't remember.
+
+- I hate OD for moral reasons, so when z60 started to overdose later, I already regarded him as half dead. After occasionally looking at him, I can only say that things are getting worse and worse. So I am not surprised that the z60 died.
+
+- This sentence is an emotional statement: I just say that the pharmaceutical industry is harming people. Look how quickly the z60 died.
+
+- So I really don't know why z60 asked me to write a review. What does z60 see in me?
+
+Jin Xin
+
+</details>
+
+## To the shooting star that once streaked across the night sky
+
+After you sent me your information, I anticipated some of your expectations for your future evaluation. Realistically speaking, you have never been a particularly bright or positive example, nor can you become the sun. But if you want to leave a clear and real trace, then I will respect your wish.
+
+You were ignorant and muddled, and therefore participated in persecuting others. Your online journey starts from Tieba, which records your passion, youth, and the earliest "group divisions". You think you are upholding justice, but you eventually realize that there is not only justice. The chaotic past provides you with cognitive accumulation, but also leaves you with mental division.
+
+You've tried diving into virtual worlds. Your feelings for music, from Virtual Diva to Dance Meng DX, have never been severed. Since middle school, your writing has been like a castle in the clouds, illusory but with a beauty far beyond reality. Your simple and innocent creations will not be erased by time, just like your dreams, they still shine in the memories of those you have helped.
+
+You want to be the person in your heart, but there is more than one "self" in your heart. From the outside, your gender transition is not successful. Your objective cognition and subjective expression both make this clear, but this is not your goal. You have made it clear that you are not so much attached to gender, but rather want to be closer to the soul, and now you have completed this final plan.
+
+You want to be able to help others, even if it may seem quite radical. As the number of rescue and community maintenance failures due to force majeure increases, your confusion forces you to further promote factional divisions. The result is greater rifts and quarrels, but the original intention cannot be denied. Your actions do not lose their meaning because of failure. Based on the comprehensive evaluation of your heart and deeds, if you want to be the star that illuminates others, you have succeeded.
+
+You have a great group of friends. For you, death is the beginning of a beautiful dream that transcends everything. Your friends respected your wishes, gave you the blessings you expected, and remembered and recorded your past. Your own shadow and past memories will always remain in their hearts, which is a rare blessing.
+
+You have thought a lot and done a lot. You have thought about being a boy and you have thought about being a girl. You have thought about becoming the smartest strategist, and you have also thought about becoming the bravest warrior. You have thought about dividing groups, and you have also thought about bringing groups together. You are contradictory, yet unified. The good news is that you always want to be a good person and never think about being a bad person.
+
+You once said that you never belonged to any circle. Your soul is free, and so are your actions. To society, you are not a particularly useful person, and you obviously have not fulfilled your social responsibilities, but you have tried your best to shine your own light and left an indelible mark. People who know you may not necessarily thank you, but they will always remember you, remember that there was a complex, lovely child who always wanted to help - and who actually put in the effort and action.
+
+You may not be a good boy or a good girl, but you are a good child, a little prince among the stars.
+
+Just as a comet will eventually fade, so too will life eventually die. However, the moment you broke through the night sky was frozen in eternity. May you enjoy peace and happiness forever in a world without disputes and responsibilities.
+
+Best regards.
+
+<p style="text-align: end;">Investigator Late Night Booked on 2024.2-2025.2</p>
+
+Contributors: Wu Chang and friends who appear in the text
+
+[^1]: Transcend Lights
+
+[^2]: Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
+
+[^3]: From Lu Xun's prose poem "Revenge (Part 2)"

people/XingZ60/page.zh_hant.md

@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ TA在新群裡拉了很多TA認為在世俗意義上並沒有獲得成功（甚
 
 星璃璃不止一次地吐槽“原神”很坐牢，並表達過棄坑的想法——每天都要面對大同小異的每日任務，日復一日地重複，一天不做任務就會少領一天的每日獎勳。然而當聊到棄坑時，TA總是會強制讓自己停下來。然而有一天，我和TA之間卻出現了這樣的對話：
 
-> 嘿，玩沒玩國服新更新的歌，叫什麼Trans什麼之光，可好玩兒了，別的歌都是tap、slide或者tap、tap、slide，這首歌是tap、tap、tap、slide，太有趣了。
+> 嘿，玩沒玩國服新更新的歌，叫什麼Trans什麼之光[^1]，可好玩兒了，別的歌都是tap、slide或者tap、tap、slide，這首歌是tap、tap、tap、slide，太有趣了。
 
 我依稀記得那時TA的語氣裡竟然帶著歡笑。
 
@@ -512,3 +512,11 @@ TA在新群裡拉了很多TA認為在世俗意義上並沒有獲得成功（甚
 此致。
 
 <p style="text-align: end;">調查員 深夜 書於2024.2-2025.2</p>
+
+条目贡献：无常 及行文中所出现的朋友们
+
+[^1]: 即 Transcend Lights 
+
+[^2]: 即 Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
+
+[^3]: 出自鲁迅散文诗《复仇（其二）》