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@ -7,37 +7,35 @@ info:
## Memories
Susie was a sweet and cheerful trans girl with a love for *Arknights*,
particularly for the character Goldenglow (operator's real name: Susie Glitter).
She had a passion for video games. These inspired her username - *Susiethegamer*.
Susie was a sweet and cheerful trans girl. She had a passion for video games. Her username, “Susiethegamer,” was taken from the character Goldenglow (Susie Glitter) in *Arknights*.
Susie and her best friend Nekomaki, who was like a sister to her, often played games together.
Among her favourites was *The Finals*, although she would occasionally grow dizzy in the 3D environment.
Then she would switched to play *Rainbow Six Siege*, a favourite of her sister.
In R6s, Susie had a charming clumsiness that made her all the more endearing.
Susie and her best friend Nekomaki often played games together.
She usually played *The Finals*, and whenever she suffered from simulator sickness, she would switch to Nekomaki’s favourite game *Rainbow Six Siege*.
Susie often showed a charming clumsiness when playing *Rainbow Six Siege*.
After their gaming sessions, the two sisters would often sing *Yorushika* songs together on Discord, Susie adored their music very much.
Nekomaki had a habit of waking up late, and when she got up, she always found Susie already waiting for her on Discord.
The two often sang *Yorushika* songs together on Discord every time after gaming.
Susie adored *Yorushika*’s music very much.
Nekomaki is not a morning person. As a result, whenever she wakes up, she often finds Susie waiting for her on Discord.
Susie had a knack for fashion and a soft spot for Uniqlo clothes.
She loved sharing her outfits with her sister.
Although she looks a bit chubby, she was very lovely — the kind of adorable person you just want to pinch her cheeks.
She dreamed of cosplaying Goldenglow once she slimmed down.
Susie had a knack for fashion, especially Uniqlo clothes.
She liked sharing her pictures with her sister.
Although she looked a bit chubby, she was very lovely — the kind of cuteness that made you want to pinch her cheeks.
She said she’d cosplay Goldenglow once she slimmed down.
When asked if she’d prefer studying in the UK or Singapore, she chose Singapore, where her sister was residing.
When asked if she’d prefer studying in the UK or Singapore, she chose Singapore, where Nekomaki was residing.
> “I’ll be waiting for you in May. Come live with me, and we’ll work on making you feel better.”
> “I’ll be waiting for you. We can live together. I will try to help you with your mental health.”
>
> – Nekomaki
In 2023, Susie received an offer from a university in the US. but couldn’t attend due to her mental health struggles.
She later expressed a stronger desire to go to Japan instead.
In 2023, Susie received an offer from a university in the US. However, she couldn’t attend due to her mental health struggles.
She later expressed a stronger desire to study in Japan instead.
Susie had long wrestled with severe suicidal thoughts.
Though her friends rarely mentioned it openly, they kept a close eye on her carefully.
Susie had been struggling for a long time with suicidal ideation.
Though her friends never brought it up with her, they kept a close eye on her.
In April 2024, Susie and some friends visited Snowfairy, who was studying at a language school in Japan.
Their days together were joyful, filled with laughter.
Those days were filled with laughter.
<PhotoScroll photos={[
'${path}/photos/photo1.PNG',
@ -53,40 +51,38 @@ Their days together were joyful, filled with laughter.
*(Photos from Susie’s trip to Shibuya, Shinjuku, and Ikebukuro)*
Susie attempted suicide by lying on the tracks during her time in Japan.
At that moment, Snowfairy was frantic and wanted to rush to Kawagoe in the middle of the night.
However, due to her own fragile state of mind, Snowfairy had to rely on other friends in Japan for help.
Fortunately, nothing serious happened in the end.
Susie almost attempted suicide in Japan.
After being informed, Snowfairy almost rushed to Kawagoe in the middle of the night.
However, Snowfairy was also dealing with her own mental health issues and had to rely on other friends in Japan for help.
Fortunately, Susie didn’t follow through.
> “When it was time to say goodbye, she clung to me tightly. I hugged her back, thinking, next time, I’ll take her to more wonderful places and introduce her to my favourite restaurants.”
>
> – Snowfairy
Back in China, Susie frequently spoke of her longing to live and study in Japan.
Snowfairy even recommended scenic spots for her to visit.
After Susie went back to China, she frequently spoke of her longing to study in Japan.
Snowfairy then recommended some more places of interest in Japan.
Later, Susie's mental state visibly began to deteriorate visibly.
During this time, she had several suicidal attempts,
but Snowfairy was always quick to notice and reach out to many people for help,
which helped prevent any tragedies from occurring.
Later, Susie’s mental state visibly began to deteriorate.
During this time, she had several suicidal attempts.
Fortunately, Snowfairy always responded quickly enough.
In her final days, Susie stopped playing games, gave away many of her belongings, even including her computer.
Nekomaki did not foresee the outcome at that moment,
as Susie had been persuaded out of previous suicide attempts,
such as overdosing and jumping off a building.
In her final days, Susie stopped playing games and gave away many of her belongings, even including her PC.
Nekomaki did not foresee the outcome,
as Susie had been persuaded out of previous suicide attempts.
She thought this time would be no different.
<!-- By the time the local police arrived, it was too late.
The lively, vibrant Susie from our memories had become a distant echo. Her funeral saw her spirit reduced to a small, cold box. -->
In her previous tweet,
she was sharing photos of her treasured collections (looking back now, it seems to have been a final display, perhaps a way of reminiscing about the past),
but her next tweet was a message about taking the drugs and leaving us.
In her second last tweet,
she was sharing photos of her treasured collections (looking back now, it seemed to have been a final display, perhaps a way of reminiscing),
but her last tweet was a message about committing suicide.
For various reasons, the local police were unable to find her in time, and by then, it was already too late.
> The last time I saw Susie, she was a lively and energetic trans girl as ever, but at the funeral, all I could do was watch as her cold, small casket.
> The last time I saw Susie, she was a lively and energetic trans girl, but at the funeral, all I could do was watch her cold, small casket.
## Farewell
@ -96,22 +92,22 @@ For various reasons, the local police were unable to find her in time, and by th
<!-- The memories are vivid and heavy—dreams of Susie’s laughter fade into tears. Her wallpaper still flickers on the screen, a cruel reminder of the girl who loved video games but will never return. -->
Drunk on sorrow, tears clouding her fevered sleep,
*Drunk on sorrow, tears clouding her fevered sleep,
Old memories stir in dreams, fleeting and brief.
Waking in tears, still yearning for the past.
We met in haste, never to meet again.
We met in haste, never to meet again.*
Upon waking, Susie's wallpaper still blinks,
Upon waking, Susie’s wallpaper still blinks,
and memories flood in with the tears,
The gamer Susie who loved video games will never return.
No more chats on Discord.
No more chitchatting on Discord.
No more games of *Rainbow Six Siege* or *The Finals*.
No more playing *Rainbow Six Siege* or *The Finals* together.
---
> The moon lingered on the wayfarer's hall,
> The moon lingered on the wayfarer’s hall,
>
> Sea wind nested in the strand’s fiery pall.
>
@ -127,13 +123,13 @@ No more games of *Rainbow Six Siege* or *The Finals*.
>
> White lilac of barren string
>
> Guard her from snow 'round the unforgiving stars.
> Guard her from snow ’round the unforgiving stars.
The meeting and embrace at Shinagawa Station feel as if it were yesterday,
And the izakaya we visited that night often flickers in my mind.
The heavens are cold, may fairies clear the snow and ice from Susie's path,
so she may travel warmly to the heaven.
The heavens are cold; may fairies clear the snow and ice from Susie’s path,
so she may travel warmly to heaven.
Susie, may you be free from all burdens in your next life.
May your wishes come true in a kinder world.