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[U] Update entry for Susiethegamer
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## Memories
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Susie was a sweet and cheerful trans girl with a love for *Arknights*, particularly for the character Ch’en the Holungday (whose name she borrowed as Susie Glitter). Her passion for video games inspired her username, *Susiethegamer*.
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Susie was a sweet and cheerful trans girl with a love for *Arknights*,
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particularly for the character Goldenglow (operator's real name: Susie Glitter).
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She had a passion for video games. These inspired her username - *Susiethegamer*.
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She often played games with her elder sister, Lumi Neko-maki. Among her favorites was *The Finals*, although she would occasionally grow dizzy in the 3D environment and switch to playing *Rainbow Six Siege*, a favorite of her sister. In *Siege*, Susie had a charming clumsiness that made her all the more endearing.
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Susie and her best friend Nekomaki, who was like a sister to her, often played games together.
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Among her favourites was *The Finals*, although she would occasionally grow dizzy in the 3D environment.
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Then she would switched to play *Rainbow Six Siege*, a favourite of her sister.
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In R6s, Susie had a charming clumsiness that made her all the more endearing.
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After their gaming sessions, the two sisters would often sing *Yorushika* songs together on Discord. Susie adored their music, and despite Lumi’s habit of waking up late, she’d always find Susie waiting for her online.
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After their gaming sessions, the two sisters would often sing *Yorushika* songs together on Discord, Susie adored their music very much.
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Nekomaki had a habit of waking up late, and when she got up, she always found Susie already waiting for her on Discord.
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Susie had a knack for fashion and a soft spot for Uniqlo clothes. She loved sharing her outfits with her sister, despite playfully describing herself as "a little chubby"—a cuteness that made everyone want to pinch her cheeks. She dreamed of cosplaying Ch’en once she slimmed down.
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Susie had a knack for fashion and a soft spot for Uniqlo clothes.
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She loved sharing her outfits with her sister.
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Although she looks a bit chubby, she was very lovely — the kind of adorable person you just want to pinch her cheeks.
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She dreamed of cosplaying Goldenglow once she slimmed down.
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When asked if she’d prefer studying in the UK or Singapore, she chose Singapore, where her sister was residing.
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> *“I’ll be waiting for you in May. Come live with me, and we’ll work on making you feel better.”*
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> “I’ll be waiting for you in May. Come live with me, and we’ll work on making you feel better.”
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>
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> – Lumi
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> – Nekomaki
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In 2023, Susie received an offer from a university in the U.S. but couldn’t attend due to her mental health struggles. She later expressed a stronger desire to go to Japan instead.
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In 2023, Susie received an offer from a university in the US. but couldn’t attend due to her mental health struggles.
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She later expressed a stronger desire to go to Japan instead.
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---
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Susie had long wrestled with severe suicidal thoughts.
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Though her friends rarely mentioned it openly, they kept a close eye on her carefully.
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Susie had long wrestled with severe suicidal thoughts. Though her friends rarely mentioned it openly, they watched over her carefully.
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In April 2024, Susie and some friends visited Snowfairy, who was studying at a language school in Japan. Their days together were joyful, filled with laughter.
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In April 2024, Susie and some friends visited Snowfairy, who was studying at a language school in Japan.
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Their days together were joyful, filled with laughter.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo1.PNG',
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@ -43,36 +53,76 @@ In April 2024, Susie and some friends visited Snowfairy, who was studying at a l
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*(Photos from Susie’s trip to Shibuya, Shinjuku, and Ikebukuro)*
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Yet, beneath her cheerful demeanor, Susie struggled. During the trip, she made a near-tragic attempt to end her life. Snowfairy was desperate to reach her but, hindered by their own fragile state, sought help from friends. Thankfully, Susie survived that moment.
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Susie attempted suicide by lying on the tracks during her time in Japan.
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At that moment, Snowfairy was frantic and wanted to rush to Kawagoe in the middle of the night.
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However, due to her own fragile state of mind, Snowfairy had to rely on other friends in Japan for help.
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Fortunately, nothing serious happened in the end.
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> *“When it was time to say goodbye, she clung to me tightly. I hugged her back, thinking, ‘Next time, I’ll take her to more wonderful places and introduce her to my favorite restaurants.’”*
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> “When it was time to say goodbye, she clung to me tightly. I hugged her back, thinking, next time, I’ll take her to more wonderful places and introduce her to my favourite restaurants.”
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>
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> – Snowfairy
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Back in China, Susie frequently spoke of her longing to live and study in Japan. Snowfairy even recommended scenic spots for her to visit. But her mental health soon deteriorated visibly. Multiple attempts to reach out were made, yet the darkness was unyielding.
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Back in China, Susie frequently spoke of her longing to live and study in Japan.
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Snowfairy even recommended scenic spots for her to visit.
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In her final days, Susie gave away much of her belongings, stopped playing games, and shared a bittersweet post showcasing her treasured collections—perhaps her way of saying goodbye. Her last message was one of farewell.
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Later, Susie's mental state visibly began to deteriorate visibly.
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During this time, she had several suicidal attempts,
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but Snowfairy was always quick to notice and reach out to many people for help,
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which helped prevent any tragedies from occurring.
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By the time the authorities arrived, it was too late.
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In her final days, Susie stopped playing games, gave away many of her belongings, even including her computer.
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Nekomaki did not foresee the outcome at that moment,
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as Susie had been persuaded out of previous suicide attempts,
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such as overdosing and jumping off a building.
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She thought this time would be no different.
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The lively, vibrant Susie from our memories had become a distant echo. Her funeral saw her spirit reduced to a small, cold box.
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<!-- By the time the local police arrived, it was too late.
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---
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The lively, vibrant Susie from our memories had become a distant echo. Her funeral saw her spirit reduced to a small, cold box. -->
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In her previous tweet,
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she was sharing photos of her treasured collections (looking back now, it seems to have been a final display, perhaps a way of reminiscing about the past),
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but her next tweet was a message about taking the drugs and leaving us.
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For various reasons, the local police were unable to find her in time, and by then, it was already too late.
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The last time I saw Susie,
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she was a lively and energetic trans girl as ever,
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but at the funeral,
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all I could do was watch as her cold, small casket.
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## Farewell
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> *Until we meet again, Susie.*
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> Until we meet again, Susie.
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>
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> *一緒に遊ぼう、いつまでも。*
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> 一緒に遊ぼう、いつまでも。
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The memories are vivid and heavy—dreams of Susie’s laughter fade into tears. Her wallpaper still flickers on the screen, a cruel reminder of the girl who loved video games but will never return.
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<!-- The memories are vivid and heavy—dreams of Susie’s laughter fade into tears. Her wallpaper still flickers on the screen, a cruel reminder of the girl who loved video games but will never return. -->
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Drunk on sorrow, tears clouding her fevered sleep,
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Old memories stir in dreams, fleeting and brief.
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Waking in tears, still yearning for the past.
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We met in haste, never to meet again.
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Upon waking, Susie's wallpaper still blinks,
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and memories flood in with the tears,
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The gamer Susie who loved video games will never return.
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No more chats on Discord.
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No more games of *Rainbow Six Siege* or *The Finals*.
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---
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> *Under Huainan’s starry skies, the wind whispers through the Tung blossoms.*
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> 夜半华南江岸夜，桐花驿站风清。
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>
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> 三人聚首伴诗情。初逢君亦乐，言语到天明。
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>
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> 筑后千山传恶报，惊闻已失悲声。
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>
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> 品川订誓忍难行。长空如有意，神使破寒冰。
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<!-- > *Under Huainan’s starry skies, the wind whispers through the Tung blossoms.*
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>
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> *Three souls met by fate, sharing poetry till dawn.*
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>
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@ -82,9 +132,15 @@ No more games of *Rainbow Six Siege* or *The Finals*.
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>
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> *May the heavens, in their grace, clear the frost from her path, guiding her to warmth and light.*
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>
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> 这诗歌有一些细节我还想问，先用原文吧。 -->
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That embrace at Shinagawa Station feels like yesterday. The izakaya laughter still echoes, a fleeting dream.
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The meeting and embrace at Shinagawa Station feel as if it were yesterday,
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And the izakaya we visited that night often flickers in my mind.
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Susie, may your journey now be free from hardship. May your wishes come true in a kinder world.
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The heavens are cold, may fairies clear the snow and ice from Susie's path,
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So she may travel warmly to the heaven.
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Contributors: [Lumi猫卷](https://twitter.com/nekomakiQAQ), [雪仙 Snowfairy](https://twitter.com/snowfairy011026), One-Among-Us
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Susie, may you be free from all burdens in your next life.
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May your wishes come true in a kinder world.
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Contributors for this entry: [Nekomaki](https://twitter.com/nekomakiQAQ), [Snowfairy](https://twitter.com/snowfairy011026), One-Among-Us
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@ -65,7 +65,7 @@ Susie 一直有着较强的自杀欲望，大家虽然没说什么，但一直
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醉哀掩泣，高烧不退，梦中旧忆，匆匆相见。
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惊醒之时，Susie 的壁纸还在眨眼睛，那些记忆在泪水中如潮水般涌来，那个喜欢玩电子游戏的 Susie 却不再回来了。
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惊醒之时，给 Susie 的壁纸还在眨眼睛，那些记忆在泪水中如潮水般涌来，那个喜欢玩电子游戏的 Susie 却不再回来了。
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世上少了一个在 Discord 中等姐姐聊天的人。
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@ -9,15 +9,15 @@ info:
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Susie 是一個可愛的跨性別女孩, 非常喜歡《明日方舟》裡的澄閃 (本名為 Susie Glitter), 她還喜歡很多很多電子遊戲, 這便是她曾常用的 ID - Susiethegamer 的由來.
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她經常和她的姐姐貓捲一起打遊戲，她喜歡玩 THE FINALS，但她好像有點暈 3D，總是打著打著就不打了，然後就與姐姐一同玩姐姐喜歡的彩虹六號。 Susie 在扮演《虹彩六號》時，總顯得有些呆呆的，非常惹人喜歡呢。
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她經常和她的姐姐貓卷一起打遊戲，她喜歡玩 THE FINALS，但她好像有點暈 3D，總是打著打著就不打了，然後就與姐姐一同玩姐姐喜歡的虹彩六號。Susie 在遊玩《虹彩六號》時，總顯得有些呆呆的，非常惹人喜歡呢。
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打完遊戲，她們也常一起在 Discord 裡唱 Yorushika 的歌，她特別喜歡 Yorushika。姊姊早上起得稍晚，一起床就看到 Susie 在 Discord 裡等她。
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Susie 特別喜歡優衣庫的衣服，常常買衣服，穿搭還很好看。她總是發自己的穿搭給姊姊看，雖然她看起來有些肉肉的，但是非常可愛，是屬於讓人看起來就像捏一把的那種。她還說，等自己瘦下來，就出澄閃的 cos。
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Susie 特別喜歡優衣庫的衣服，常常買衣服，穿搭還很好看。她總是發自己的穿搭給姐姐看，雖然她看起來有些肉肉的，但是非常可愛，是屬於讓人看起來就像捏一把的那種。她還說，等自己瘦下來，就出澄閃的 cos。
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她的姐姐目前常居新加坡。有一天，Susie 的母親問，她的母親問她，是更想去英國還是新加坡讀書呀。她說新加坡。
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姊姊對 Susie 說：
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姐姐對 Susie 說：
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> 我會等你哦，五月你一定要來，我們可以住一起，我會讓你的精神狀態變好的。
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@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ Susie 一直有著較強的自殺慾望，大家雖然沒說什麼，但一直
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儘管在日本期間，Susie 鬧出過一次輕生的事情，差點臥軌。雪仙當時非常著急，急著想要半夜搭計程車衝到川越，但由於精神狀態不佳，只能委託其他在日友人，但好在最後沒有出事。
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> 在告別的時候, 她一直要抱我, 我也抱了回去, 我想說, 下次有機會, 再帶她去玩更多好玩的地方, 我還想了好幾家好吃的飯店準備介紹給她
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> 在告別的時候, 她一直要抱我, 我也抱了回去, 我想說, 下次有機會, 再帶她去玩更多好玩的地方, 我還想了好幾家好吃的飯店準備介紹給她。
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>
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> —— 雪仙
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@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ Susie 一直有著較強的自殺慾望，大家雖然沒說什麼，但一直
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後來，Susie 的精神狀態突然開始肉眼可見地下滑，期間還發生了幾次想要輕生的想法，每次雪仙都及時發現並聯絡了大量人員。
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直到最後那一次，Susie 遊戲也不玩了，電腦上還有許多東西也都送人了。貓捲姊姊那時也沒想到結局，因為前幾次鬧自殺 OD 跳樓都被她勸回來了，因此「這次」應該也不會有什麼大事。
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直到最後那一次，Susie 遊戲也不玩了，電腦上還有許多東西也都送人了。貓卷姐姐那時也沒想到結局，因為前幾次鬧自殺 OD 跳樓都被她勸回來了，因此「這次」應該也不會有什麼大事。
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前一則推文，她還在曬自己的收藏品（現在看來，那可能是最後的走馬燈，在回憶過去吧），後一則推文就是服藥離開的訊息。由於各種原因，當地警方未能及時找到她，一切都已無濟於事。
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@ -65,11 +65,11 @@ Susie 一直有著較強的自殺慾望，大家雖然沒說什麼，但一直
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醉哀掩泣，高燒不退，夢中舊憶，匆匆相見。
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驚醒之時，Susie 的壁紙還在眨眼睛，那些記憶在淚水中如潮水般湧來，那個喜歡玩電子遊戲的 Susie 卻不再回來了。
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驚醒之時，給 Susie 的壁紙還在眨眼睛，那些記憶在淚水中如潮水般湧來，那個喜歡玩電子遊戲的 Susie 卻不再回來了。
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世上少了一個在 Discord 中等姐姐聊天的人。
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少了一個一起打彩虹六號和 THE FINALS 的人。
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少了一個一起打虹彩六號和 THE FINALS 的人。
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---
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