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Elihuso Quigley 2024-10-24 23:45:29 +08:00
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QianXia is a gentle and kind child, she is very cute, she gave her love to the world
## Lighting the Lamp
## Introduction
If the night is too dark to see the road ahead, then I will be your lamp.
In May 2023, a friend and I started working on a psychological counseling project on an online platform. Perhaps my initial intention was not to help others, but to save myself. At that time, I was suffering from severe mental illness, living in confusion and despair every day—it was the darkest period of my life. Yet, I didnt want to sink into the abyss, and I was desperate to find a way to redeem myself.
Then she appeared.
She came, gently and quietly, carrying the warm glow of orange light.
On that romantic day, May 20th.
铃木千夏 (Chinatsu Suzuki, later changed her name to AsabaNaiXi) is a transgender girl with XX chromosomes. Her original family is in Chongqing Tongnan. Her parents are very patriarchal. Her father is a gambler who only abuses his family all day long. Later, he got cancer and his current situation is unknown. Her mother is a teacher, but because of the old conservative ideology, she constantly causes fatal harm to her in the name of love. She has strong skills, can speak English and Japanese, has made a lot of money by speculating in cryptocurrencies, can do computers, handwriting AI and other very powerful operations, and she also has a very wide network of contacts. She said that she had also had a photo shoot with Satoshi Nakamoto. She has never had a happy life. Her parents beat and scolded her when she was a child. She was severely bullied in elementary and junior high school. Before she met lib, the doctor had committed suicide countless times.
## The Lonely Star
> She said: I also want to have my own children in the future and live a happy life.
She too was a child abandoned by the world.
She grew up in a deeply conservative family in Tongnan, Chongqing. Her father was a gambling addict, and her mother, a teacher. The parents preference for sons over daughters, along with the gloom of her familys atmosphere, made her experience the bitterness of life at an age that should have been carefree. She never had a happy life: her parents scolding and beatings, her classmates ridicule, and the bullying from school thugs... Struggling to survive in the cracks of life, she had fallen into despair countless times and even attempted suicide. But she never allowed herself to be consumed by the darkness of human nature. She always shone with pure light, like a lonely star in the night sky.
Severe depression, acute anxiety, schizophrenia, ADHD… When my friend handed her over to me, I was completely shocked.
Could someone with such severe mental issues really be saved?
## Some reserved pictures
## A Warm Current
<PhotoScroll photos={[ '${path}/photos/1.png', '${path}/photos/2.png', '${path}/photos/3.png', '${path}/photos/4.jpg', '${path}/photos/5.jpg', '${path}/photos/6.jpg', '${path}/photos/7.jpg', '${path}/photos/8.png']} />
I always felt that a sweet and kind child like Chinatsu deserved to be treated gently by the world. Even if everyone else abandoned her, I had to offer her that kindness.
I began talking to her every day, patiently comforting and guiding her, and gradually, I entered her world. She was an exceptionally talented person—fluent in English and Japanese, skilled in programming, and adept at AI illustration. She even had a keen financial mind and made significant money from cryptocurrency trading. Her network was extensive—she had even taken a photo with Satoshi Nakamoto. Our conversations were always filled with laughter. Two lonely souls, no longer isolated after meeting, found warmth in each others company. Her love, like a gentle current, nourished my heart, melting the long-frozen ice within.
## Turning point
## Heavens Favor
On May 20, 2023, she met an online friend named lib一抹阳光, who stopped her from committing suicide seven times and helped her survive together with Miss Endercat
“Im a child blessed by heaven!” One day, Chinatsu told me excitedly, “I went to the hospital for a blood test, and the doctor said I have XX chromosomes, so Im truly a girl!”
I was genuinely happy for her. It seemed as though fate had destined it—while one door had closed, another had opened for her. Perhaps the misfortune of her childhood had paved the way for a lifetime of happiness.
That day, she was overjoyed. She said, “One day, I hope to have my own children and live a happy life.”
## Her death
## Smile
Because one of her important friends committed suicide, Qianxia also collapsed and swallowed pills to commit suicide. Although she was rescued, the previous suicides had left extremely serious sequelae. This time, a benign brain tumor worsened, which led to Qianxia's death in just a few days. Before she died, she told lib一摸阳光 about her childhood: "I remember when I was very young, I saw a handkerchief with a cute pattern on the table. I liked it very much and went to take it, but my mother opened my hand and said why boys like such feminine things." Chinatsu cried on the phone...
After that, every time Chinatsu had suicidal thoughts, I would talk to her about the little joys of life, about our future. Over time, I stopped her from attempting suicide seven times.
With the combined efforts of Miss EnderCat and me, her condition miraculously improved. She became sunny and cheerful, and her face often showed a smile. At that moment, I had a premonition: maybe, just maybe, she would one day break free from the illness and be reborn.
> She said to lib一抹阳光: The time I spent with you was the happiest time of my life in the past 14 years
## The Fallen Flower Vanishes Without a Trace
In September, a very close friend of Chinatsus committed suicide, and Chinatsu, in her devastation, took pills to end her own life. This time, I couldnt stop her. Although she was rescued, the damage from her previous suicide attempts had left severe aftereffects. Unfortunately, this time, it triggered the malignant growth of a benign brain tumor.
On the phone, Chinatsu cried to me, telling me how much pain she was in. My heart tightened hearing those words, but I couldnt show my despair in front of her. Holding back my tears, I comforted her, “It will be alright… everything will be fine…”
After the call ended, I cried uncontrollably. It was at that moment I realized how important Chinatsu was to me. I couldnt understand—how could such a wonderful child suffer this way? I simply couldnt comprehend.
In her final days, she spoke to me about her childhood: “I remember when I was very young, I saw a handkerchief with cute designs on the table. I liked it so much that I reached for it, but my mother pulled my hand away and said, Why would a boy like something so girly?’”
Her voice was weak, as though she was sobbing and reminiscing at the same time.
I cried my heart out, barely hearing her say, “In our next life, we must be together. I will wait for you.”
“Dont be afraid,” I told her, “Youll go to a beautiful place, warm and free of pain.”
On the other end of the line, there was only silence. Outside, the autumn wind blew, scattering the fallen flowers across the ground.
## Reunion
It felt like someone had forcibly torn something out of me, leaving me numb and dejected. I still dont understand why she left me behind, leaving me to wander this lonely world alone.
But its alright—she will wait for me. In the next life, we will be reunited.
---
## Introduction to other people
> Written by: A Ray of Sunshine for Chinatsu, Her Main Supporter
> With the assistance of Miss EnderCat
lib一抹阳光: Chinatsu's friend, main intervener
Endercat: Chinatsu's friend, assisting intervener
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image1.png', '${path}/photos/image2.png']} />
> 『Thank you Miss Endercat for helping me help Chinatsu』——lib一抹阳光
> 她寫給lib一抹陽光的遺書
## Her suicide note to libyishangguang
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image2.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.jpeg']} />
<PhotoScroll photos={[ '${path}/photos/11.jpg', '${path}/photos/12.jpg']} />
> 她對lib一抹陽光說『和你在一起的時光是我14年以來最幸福的時候了』
> 『If there is a next life, we must be together』——Suzuki Chinatsu, lib一抹阳光
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image4.jpeg']} />
> 『感謝末影貓小姐協助我幫助千夏』—lib一抹陽光
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image5.jpeg']} />
> 『如果能有下輩子我們一定要在一起』—鈴木千夏、lib一抹陽光
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image6.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image7.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.png', '${path} /photos/image4.png']} />