diff --git a/people/juzh50533467/info.yml b/people/juzh50533467/info.yml new file mode 100644 index 00000000..f7eb45b7 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/juzh50533467/info.yml @@ -0,0 +1,8 @@ +id: juzh50533467 +profileUrl: ${path}/photos/profile.jpg +info: + born: '2005-09-03' + died: '2023-05-09' +websites: + twitter: https://twitter.com/juzh50533467 + Bilibili: https://space.bilibili.com/621131987 \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/juzh50533467/page.en.md b/people/juzh50533467/page.en.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..6cb2717d --- /dev/null +++ b/people/juzh50533467/page.en.md @@ -0,0 +1,103 @@ +--- +name: Juezhe +info: + alias: Juezhe + location: Guangxi, China +--- + +## Introduction + +> Juezhe was a trans girl who grew up in the rural areas of Guangxi. Though she didn't have much formal education, she carried within her a unique courage. +> +> We often see many trans women with different backgrounds and experiences. +> +> We might find it easier to notice those girls who shine brightly, trying to break barriers with their knowledge and education. +> +> But across this vast land, there are many more trans women who deserve to be seen. +> +> Juezhe didn't leave many words, so we have preserved her first-person narrative to retain more of her presence in this world. +> +> "Girls, don’t be ashamed... you’re not a freak, everyone is always with you." +> +> —— One Among Us + +## Juezhe's Self Narration + +When I was in elementary school, +I really liked the smooth, hairless skin of girls and how they could dress however they wanted, grow long hair, and braid it. +Most importantly, they could wear skirts, which was awesome. +Every time I saw other girls, I envied them very much. + +I secretly wore my sister's skirt once. +I was so happy but also very scared, scared of being discovered. +I hated my secondary sexual characteristics. +Why couldn't I be a girl... + +I hated the labels they put on me. +I couldn’t accept that, +but gender isn’t something you can choose. +I was destined not to change anything. +In others' minds, +boys were supposed to be rough and messy. + +I have a very considerate sister who always took care of me. +When I talked back and got hit by my dad, +she was always the first to comfort me. +I felt very happy staying with her, +but this short-lived happiness only lasted until she graduated from elementary school... + +Maybe it was partly because of family reasons. +When I was young, my dad smoked, drank, gambled, and liked to commit domestic violence. +He often hit me, leaving bruises and marks. +Once he beat me so hard that a thick black mark was left on my calf. +After a few instances of domestic violence, +my mom left to work in another province. +My dad often gambled till late and didn’t come home. +I was too scared to sleep alone, +so I kept the TV on and hid in the corner of the bed by the wall. +Maybe growing up in this kind of loveless environment made me crave love even more... + +I belonged to the passive personality type, +without my own opinions, +always feeling self-pity, +always escaping, +overly caring about others' evaluations, +and yearning for recognition. +No matter how sad I was, +I would always force a smile in front of others, +afraid of being misunderstood. + +Although only my childhood friend was willing to hang out with me, +I longed even more to play with girls. +When I saw female classmates playing string figure or jump rope, +I wanted to join them but didn’t have the courage, +so I could only watch from afar. +I remember very clearly one time during long-break, +I stood in the corner watching girls play jump rope for a long time. +I wanted so badly to join them but was afraid of being laughed at, +so I didn’t dare to speak. +In the end, one girl noticed me and invited me to play. +Just as I was about to go over, the bell rang. +I was really sad then, and this memory still stays with me... + +Sigh... +I kept these thoughts to myself and never told anyone. +Until one day, +I stumbled upon information about transgenders, estrogen, and transitioning on the internet. +This changed my rigid mindset, and after learning more, I unhesitatingly sought out ways to start HRT... + +## Juezhe's Departure + +> "I never really hoped to be accepted. Born a misfit..." + +On that day, that girl went to a secluded mountain, intending to end it all. + +She knew her family's financial situation couldn’t support her transition nor save her life. + +She always felt like a burden... + +> "The liquid was so strong, so bitter, and so salty..." +> +> "I hope in the next life I can be a girl... Sorry for making everyone worry even in death..." + +Say goodnight to that girl, she was just too tired, and fell asleep... diff --git a/people/juzh50533467/page.md b/people/juzh50533467/page.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..fd23918e --- /dev/null +++ b/people/juzh50533467/page.md @@ -0,0 +1,56 @@ +--- +name: 诀蛰 +info: + alias: 诀蛰 + location: 中国广西 +--- + +## 导语 + +> 诀蛰是一个来自广西农村的跨性别女孩，学历不高，但她的内心有属于自己的那份勇气。 +> +> 我们所能看到的许多跨性别女性，有着不一样的背景，不一样的经历。 +> +> 可能我们更容易看到，许多自带光芒的，试图用知识与学历打破禁锢的女孩们。 +> +> 但在这广袤无垠的土地上，还有更多，更多的跨性别女性们，应当被看见。 +> +> 诀蛰所留下的文字并不多，因此我们保留了她自述中的第一人称笔法，从而留下她在这个世界上更多的痕迹。 +> +> 「女孩啊，不要自卑呢……妳不是怪胎呢，大家一直与妳同在。」 +> +> —— 那些秋叶 + +## 诀蛰的自述 + +在俺小学的时候，很喜欢女生白白嫩嫩还没体毛的皮肤，还可以随心所欲地打扮自己，留长长的头发，还可以扎辫子，最重要的是可以穿裙子哎，超棒的好嘛，每次看到别的女生俺都会羡慕她们。 + +俺也有偷偷穿过俺姐的裙子，很开心又很害怕，害怕被别人发现。俺讨厌自己的第二性征，为什么俺不可以是女生…… + +俺也讨厌那些被贴在身上的标签，俺不能接受，但性别又不是自己能决定的，俺注定改变不了什么，在别人的印象中男生就只能是那种大大咧咧邋里邋遢的样子嘛。 + +俺有一个很懂事的姐姐，做什么事都很照顾俺，俺顶嘴被老爸打了也会第一时间来安慰俺。和她待在一起的日子里，俺感觉很幸福，不过这份短暂的幸福只持续到了她小学毕业…… + +也可能有点家庭原因，小时候老爸抽烟喝酒赌博全都沾，还喜欢家暴，他经常打俺。有一次打得小腿都留下了一条很粗的黑色的印子。俺老妈被家暴几次后就去了外省打工，老爸经常赌博到凌晨都不回来，俺一个人又不敢睡，只能一直开着电视躲在靠墙那边的床角，可能是因为这种从小缺爱的家庭环境让俺更渴望被爱吧……… + +俺是那种被动型人格，没有主见，自怨自艾，总是逃避，过分在意他人的评价，渴望被认可。可就算再难过，俺面对别人的时候也会挤出一丝笑容，害怕被别人误解。 + +虽然只有发小愿意陪俺，但俺更渴望能和女孩子一起玩，那时候看到女同学玩花绳，跳皮筋俺都想过去跟她们一起玩，无奈没有勇气迈出那一步，只能远远观望。俺记得非常清楚的是有一次大课间，俺一个人站在角落望着远处的女同学玩跳皮筋，看了很久，很想过去跟她们一起玩，但又害怕被笑，就没敢开口，到最后终于有个女孩看到俺了，邀请俺过去一起玩跳皮筋，俺刚想走过去的时候上课铃就响了，那时候真的很伤心，这件事俺现在依旧记忆深刻…… + +哎……这种想法一直藏在俺心底没和任何人提起过，直到之前偶然间从网络上了解到了药娘，雌激素和跨性别，改变了俺刻板的想法，深入了解后毫不犹豫的就去找途径买糖吃…… + +## 诀蛰的离开 + +> 「本来就不抱有能被接受的期望，生来就是个不合群的怪胎……」 + +在那天，那位女孩躲到了人们难以发现的山上，准备结束这一切。 + +她知道她的家庭经济条件没法将她挽救回来。 + +她总觉得自己是个累赘…… + +> 「好浓，好苦，好咸……」 +> +> 「希望来世可以当个女孩子……对不起，死了还要别人为俺担心……」 + +向那位女孩说晚安吧，她只是太累了，睡着了呢…… diff --git a/people/juzh50533467/page.zh_hant.md b/people/juzh50533467/page.zh_hant.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..e8062a4b --- /dev/null +++ b/people/juzh50533467/page.zh_hant.md @@ -0,0 +1,56 @@ +--- +name: 訣蟄 +info: + alias: 訣蟄 + location: 中國廣西 +--- + +## 導言 + +> 訣蟄是一個來自廣西農村的跨性別女孩, 學歷不高, 但她內心有屬於自己的那份勇氣。 +> +> 我們所能看到的許多跨性別女性, 有著不一樣的背景, 不一樣的經歷。 +> +> 可能我們更容易看到, 許多自帶光芒的, 試圖用知識和學歷打破禁錮的女孩子們。 +> +> 但這廣袤無垠的土地上, 更多的跨性別女性們, 應當被看見。 +> +> 訣蟄所留下的文字並不多, 因此我們保留了她自述的第一人稱筆法, 從而留下她在這個世界上更多的痕跡。 +> +> 「女孩啊, 不要自卑呢......妳不是怪胎呢, 大家與妳同在。」 +> +> —— One Among Us + +## 訣蟄的自述 + +在俺小學的時候，很喜歡女生白白嫩嫩還沒體毛的皮膚，還可以隨心所欲地打扮自己，留長長的頭髮，還可以紮辮子，最重要的是可以穿裙子哎，超棒的好嘛，每次看到別的女生俺都會羡慕她們。 + +俺也有偷偷穿過俺姐的裙子，很開心又很害怕，害怕被別人發現。俺討厭自己的第二性征，為什麼俺不可以是女生…… + +俺也討厭那些被貼在身上的標籤，俺不能接受，但性別又不是自己能決定的，俺註定改變不了什麼，在別人的印象中男生就只能是那種大大咧咧邋裡邋遢的樣子嘛。 + +俺有一個很懂事的姐姐，做什麼事都很照顧俺，俺頂嘴被老爸打了也會第一時間來安慰俺。和她待在一起的日子裡，俺感覺很幸福，不過這份短暫的幸福只持續到了她小學畢業…… + +也可能有點家庭原因，小時候老爸抽煙喝酒賭博全都沾，還喜歡家暴，他經常打俺。有一次打得小腿都留下了一條很粗的黑色的印子。俺老媽被家暴幾次後就去了外省打工，老爸經常賭博到淩晨都不回來，俺一個人又不敢睡，只能一直開著電視躲在靠牆那邊的床角，可能是因為這種從小缺愛的家庭環境讓俺更渴望被愛吧……… + +俺是那種被動型人格，沒有主見，自怨自艾，總是逃避，過分在意他人的評價，渴望被認可。可就算再難過，俺面對別人的時候也會擠出一絲笑容，害怕被別人誤解。 + +雖然只有髮小願意陪俺，但俺更渴望能和女孩子一起玩，那時候看到女同學玩花繩，跳皮筋俺都想過去跟她們一起玩，無奈沒有勇氣邁出那一步，只能遠遠觀望。俺記得非常清楚的是有一次大課間，俺一個人站在角落望著遠處的女同學玩跳皮筋，看了很久，很想過去跟她們一起玩，但又害怕被笑，就沒敢開口，到最後終於有個女孩看到俺了，邀請俺過去一起玩跳皮筋，俺剛想走過去的時候上課鈴就響了，那時候真的很傷心，這件事俺現在依舊記憶深刻…… + +哎……這種想法一直藏在俺心底沒和任何人提起過，直到之前偶然間從網路上瞭解到了跨性別和 HRT，改變了俺刻板的想法，深入瞭解後毫不猶豫的就去找途徑買糖吃…… + +## 訣蟄的離開 + +> 「本來就不抱有能被接受的期望, 生來就是個不合群的怪胎……」 + +在那天, 那位女孩躲到了人們難以發現的山上, 準備結束這一切. + +她知道她的家庭經濟條件沒辦法將她挽救回來. + +她總是覺得自己是個累贅... + +> 「好浓，好苦，好咸……」 +> +> 「希望来世可以当个女孩子……对不起，死了还要别人为俺担心……」 + +向那位女孩說晚安吧, 她只是太累了, 睡著了呢…… diff --git a/people/juzh50533467/photos/profile.jpg b/people/juzh50533467/photos/profile.jpg new file mode 100644 index 00000000..2dd11077 Binary files /dev/null and b/people/juzh50533467/photos/profile.jpg differ