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[["AkiraComplex","1993-03-30"],["Anilovr","2006-09-02"],["Barron12312","2004-01-27"],["Considerate_cat","2009-03-04"],["CuspariaKLSY","2005-10-21"],["DarlinChit","2004-06-09"],["GLaDOSister","1997-01-13"],["Jennife80677612","2005-06-01"],["Katerina","2003-02-27"],["MeowBot233","2003-04-15"],["Mio","2001-12-26"],["MioCardMeow","2005-04-02"],["MizuharaNagisa","2002-04-19"],["MushroomGuuuu","1995-05-29"],["Proselyte093","2004-12-22"],["Rentable_A","2006-06-24"],["SS3B_0016","2000-12-28"],["SevenBird","2005-02-26"],["Uekawakuyuurei","2000-12-04"],["Xu_Yushu","2002-07-18"],["a2581911655","2005-12-19"],["akasa_musha","2009-06-04"],["chunchun_yudong","2004-09-03"],["dogesir_","2005-08-06"],["donotexist_A","2002-05-07"],["gaoyanger","2002-04-12"],["hakureico","1999-01-13"],["homoyamakaze","1999-11-03"],["interrgned","1995-05-25"],["juzh50533467","2005-09-03"],["keyword233","2006-01-20"],["lin10104","2006-02-04"],["lintong","2000-06-01"],["luxuanwen3","2007-04-16"],["mone","2010-02-08"],["noname3031","2002-01-24"],["qiqi233345","2002-08-16"],["s5ehfr9","2002-02-11"],["shihai4h","2004-03-09"],["ttttsuuukikoo_","2005-10-16"],["wangzihao980","2005-05-18"],["xixi_yuexi","2002-09-09"],["yuki418330012","2006-08-01"],["zhangyubaka","2000-08-07"],["zheermao101","2008-04-21"]]
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[["AkiraComplex","1993-03-30"],["Anilovr","2006-09-02"],["Barron12312","2004-01-27"],["Considerate_cat","2009-03-04"],["CuspariaKLSY","2005-10-21"],["DarlinChit","2004-06-09"],["GLaDOSister","1997-01-13"],["Jennife80677612","2005-06-01"],["Katerina","2003-02-27"],["MeowBot233","2003-04-15"],["Mio","2001-12-26"],["MioCardMeow","2005-04-02"],["MizuharaNagisa","2002-04-19"],["MushroomGuuuu","1995-05-29"],["Proselyte093","2004-12-22"],["Rentable_A","2006-06-24"],["SS3B_0016","2000-12-28"],["SevenBird","2005-02-26"],["Uekawakuyuurei","2000-12-04"],["Xu_Yushu","2002-07-18"],["a2581911655","2005-12-19"],["akasa_musha","2009-06-04"],["chunchun_yudong","2004-09-03"],["dogesir_","2005-08-06"],["donotexist_A","2002-05-07"],["gaoyanger","2002-04-12"],["hakureico","1999-01-13"],["homoyamakaze","1999-11-03"],["interrgned","1995-05-25"],["juzh50533467","2005-09-03"],["keyword233","2006-01-20"],["lin10104","2006-02-04"],["lintong","2000-06-01"],["luxuanwen3","2007-04-16"],["mikaela_khara","2007-04-02"],["mone","2010-02-08"],["noname3031","2002-01-24"],["qiqi233345","2002-08-16"],["s5ehfr9","2002-02-11"],["shihai4h","2004-03-09"],["ttttsuuukikoo_","2005-10-16"],["wangzihao980","2005-05-18"],["xixi_yuexi","2002-09-09"],["yuki418330012","2006-08-01"],["zhangyubaka","2000-08-07"],["zheermao101","2008-04-21"]]
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{"id":"mikaela_khara","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["Alias","Mika"],["Location","Beijing, China"],["Born","2007-04-02"],["Departed","2023-10-15"],["Age",16]],"websites":[["twitter","https://twitter.com/mikaela_khara"],["github","https://github.com/mikaela-khara"]],"name":"Mikaela Khara","comments":[]}
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people/mikaela_khara/info.json
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{"id":"mikaela_khara","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["昵称","Mika"],["地区","中国北京"],["出生","2007-04-02"],["逝世","2023-10-15"],["年龄",16]],"websites":[["twitter","https://twitter.com/mikaela_khara"],["github","https://github.com/mikaela-khara"]],"name":"Mikaela Khara","comments":[]}
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{"id":"mikaela_khara","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["暱稱","Mika"],["地區","中國北京"],["誕生","2007-04-02"],["去世","2023-10-15"],["年齡",16]],"websites":[["twitter","https://twitter.com/mikaela_khara"],["github","https://github.com/mikaela-khara"]],"name":"Mikaela Khara","comments":[]}
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---
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name: Mikaela Khara
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info:
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alias: Mika
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location: 中国北京
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---
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> 沉溺于爱与被爱……
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那么提到爱情伤人的话 是有必要提及 Mika 的。
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<blockquote><CapDownQuote messages={[[
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"但是遇到泉泉之后 我才知道能有人陪着是件多幸福的事。”", "“可现在我又要失去她……”"],
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["“我不想再一个人走下去了”", "“一个人好痛苦 看不到希望”"],
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["“在吗铨铨……”", "“我把我推特的账号密码交给你可以嘛……”"],
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["“有点苦……”", "“泉妹要出发去日本了 可能是在登机 告诉她我爱她”"],
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["“我买了杯冰激凌 一会肚子难受了就吃一口压一下”", "“不会痛苦的 不会的”"]]} />
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</blockquote>
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo1.png',
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]} />
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Mikaela Khara,16 岁,北京人。
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她是个学霸,曾就读于北京某高中的特殊班,家境还算不错。
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喜欢玩黎明杀机,研究网络工程。
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愿意与她交流的人很多,她的兴趣爱好也特别广泛,给人一种非常可靠的大姐姐的感觉,当然,她也确实比我大。
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但当时我认为的可靠,也只是感觉罢了……
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Mika 给人的印象嘛……带着一种幽默感,而且很会关怀他人,但也在性别认同上经历着困难和内心挣扎。
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她既展现了活泼的一面,但稍加发现,她又流露出了对自己处境的清醒认知。
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## 初识
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我与 Mika 初识于 23 年 7 月的最后一天晚上,她的意愿很明确,想磕我和江别的 CP。
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再后来,我才知道她是泉的恋人。即便在一起没多久,也在和她们的交流中得知两个人彼此非常爱对方。她当时是我的小铃铛[^1]之一,我总能看到她与泉两个人秀恩爱。
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我和她交谈的时候也逐渐意识到:
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Mika 的家庭,在精神需求上的帮助很可能是枯竭的。
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她很缺爱,很缺人陪伴,会很滥情。
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大概隔了半个来月,我们四个人单独建了个小群。几乎每晚都会在一起打电话,有时候也会在语音室看着 Mika 玩杀机。
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我很后悔从未看过 Mika 玩,很可惜我当时在研究各种赚钱的路子,来为自己的糖和独立出来的资金做准备。
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## 导火索
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而钱,正是 Mika 绝望的导火索。
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8 月下旬的某天,Mika 炸柜了。
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原本只是非常正常的一件事情:家庭矛盾,家长不想让孩子 HRT,然后 Mika 离家出走结果被报警抓回来,最后在派出所协商调解矛盾。
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很正常的一件事情。
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当晚,我和泉,还有 Mika 在讨论她家的矛盾,给她心理疏导。
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泉发现自己有一直没用过,家里也不知道的两万块钱,在问我有没有什么吃利息的方法。
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她们两个当时想法非常纯粹,就是一起逃出来。转天他们两个就去 CMB 开了个户。
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自从有了钱后,她们两个人经常性地高消费,在推上也发过推文,比如比较高档的约会之类的。
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……
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时间来到 9 月份
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因为长期的高消费与单向感情依赖,我初步观测到她们两个人即便是亲密关系,但也出现了些裂痕。
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后来我才知道,Mika 去找了夜猫猫,而期间发生的事情令泉觉得难以接受。
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但 Mika 只是想逃出来,受不了家里对她性别认同上的束缚。
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……
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从 9.21 至 10.4 这段时间,Mika 与泉处在一个不健康的关系中
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泉最后的一点钱也被 Mika 买了盒日雌……结果也没打几针。
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Mika 更多是想要被爱,被关照,所以尽可能讨好别人,但因为自身条件被束缚住,以至于她的爱对于泉是病态的,但也是真心的。
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## 从下瓦房到天眼
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10 月 15 日,Mika 突然找到我,问我能否接管她的 Twitter 账号。
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我在去天图的路上,但突然意识到不对劲,我和怀安老师一致决定在下瓦房[^2]下车,报警去救 Mika。
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出站之前,我和 Mika 短暂的打过电话,想着尽可能稳住她的情绪 不要上头
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「没用的,我把门反锁了」
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「告诉泉泉我很爱她」
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这是 Mika 的遗言,而我当时真的很无力。
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>(未完待续……)
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## 后记
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Mika 的故事,有很多我没有办法直接拿出来讲。
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包括家庭、朋友……
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以及某些身边人的意见都是,建议我很多东西不要公开来写。
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于是我只能写到了这里。
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某天晚上
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我在群聊里和 Mika 的电话
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「铨铨,其实咱很想为社群出一份力」
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「咱想帮助很多同类活下去」
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「但是咱的状态以及环境真的很难做到」
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「如果有机会呢,未来我也许会开一家公司,就以小药娘做字号」
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「我看到那些开避难所的姐姐们真的很伟大」
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「要是我有一天能像她们一样 能帮上大家」
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「那样的话该多好捏」
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这是小药娘网络科技的雏形
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节选自[铨](https://twitter.com/ryq59)茗居 星留阁 星痕志 2023 第三十三号
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[^1]: 「小铃铛」原指 Twitter 用户发送推文的通知推送功能,用户可以自行选择对自己跟随的用户打开或关闭。这里的「小铃铛」则是指铨在对一些互 fo 打开通知提醒来保证及时给自己的互 fo 点赞的行为,铨当时对自己大约 300 多位的互 fo 有这样的互动。
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[^2]: 下瓦房站是天津地铁 1 号线与 5 号线的换乘站,从此处往南可到达文化中心站,天津图书馆(文化中心馆)即坐落于此。
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