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[["Anilovr","2006-09-02"],["Barron12312","2004-01-27"],["Considerate_cat","2009-03-04"],["CuspariaKLSY","2005-10-21"],["DarlinChit","2004-06-09"],["GLaDOSister","1997-01-13"],["Jennife80677612","2005-06-01"],["Katerina","2003-02-27"],["MeowBot233","2003-04-15"],["Mio","2001-12-26"],["MioCardMeow","2005-04-02"],["MizuharaNagisa","2002-04-19"],["MushroomGuuuu","1995-05-29"],["Proselyte093","2004-12-22"],["SS3B_0016","2000-12-28"],["SevenBird","2005-02-26"],["Uekawakuyuurei","2000-12-04"],["Xu_Yushu","2002-07-18"],["a2581911655","2005-12-19"],["akasa_musha","2009-06-04"],["dogesir_","2005-08-06"],["donotexist_A","2002-05-07"],["gaoyanger","2002-04-12"],["hakureico","1999-01-13"],["homoyamakaze","1999-11-03"],["keyword233","2006-01-20"],["lintong","2000-06-01"],["mone","2010-02-08"],["noname3031","2002-01-24"],["qiqi233345","2002-08-16"],["s5ehfr9","2002-02-11"],["shihai4h","2004-03-09"],["ttttsuuukikoo_","2005-10-16"],["wangzihao980","2005-05-18"],["zhangyubaka","2000-08-07"],["zheermao101","2008-04-21"]]
[["Anilovr","2006-09-02"],["Barron12312","2004-01-27"],["Considerate_cat","2009-03-04"],["CuspariaKLSY","2005-10-21"],["DarlinChit","2004-06-09"],["GLaDOSister","1997-01-13"],["Jennife80677612","2005-06-01"],["Katerina","2003-02-27"],["MeowBot233","2003-04-15"],["Mio","2001-12-26"],["MioCardMeow","2005-04-02"],["MizuharaNagisa","2002-04-19"],["MushroomGuuuu","1995-05-29"],["Proselyte093","2004-12-22"],["Rentable_A","2006-06-24"],["SS3B_0016","2000-12-28"],["SevenBird","2005-02-26"],["Uekawakuyuurei","2000-12-04"],["Xu_Yushu","2002-07-18"],["a2581911655","2005-12-19"],["akasa_musha","2009-06-04"],["dogesir_","2005-08-06"],["donotexist_A","2002-05-07"],["gaoyanger","2002-04-12"],["hakureico","1999-01-13"],["homoyamakaze","1999-11-03"],["juzh50533467","2005-09-03"],["keyword233","2006-01-20"],["lin10104","2006-02-04"],["lintong","2000-06-01"],["mone","2010-02-08"],["noname3031","2002-01-24"],["qiqi233345","2002-08-16"],["s5ehfr9","2002-02-11"],["shihai4h","2004-03-09"],["ttttsuuukikoo_","2005-10-16"],["wangzihao980","2005-05-18"],["zhangyubaka","2000-08-07"],["zheermao101","2008-04-21"]]

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{"id":"Acheron","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["Alias","Fairy, Acheron"],["Departed","2022-09-22"]],"websites":[["Bilibili","https://space.bilibili.com/528983952"]],"name":"Acheron","comments":[]}

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{"id":"Acheron","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["昵称","Fairy, Acheron"],["逝世","2022-09-22"]],"websites":[["Bilibili","https://space.bilibili.com/528983952"]],"name":"委委-fairy","comments":[]}

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{"id":"Acheron","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["暱稱","Fairy, Acheron"],["去世","2022-09-22"]],"websites":[["Bilibili","https://space.bilibili.com/528983952"]],"name":"委委-fairy","comments":[]}

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"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({h2:\"h2\",p:\"p\",blockquote:\"blockquote\",a:\"a\"},props.components);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Description\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Acheron was a young trans girl who was lovely, brave, and kind-hearted.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She uploaded several Minecraft gameplay videos on Bilibili.\\nShe once excavated an entire chunk with nine friends from the speedrun community in just 30:17.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Acheron was also knowledgeable in technology.\\nShe uploaded two notable videos:\\none unboxing the BearPi-HM Nano development board,\\nand another on installing Klipper based on Debian 10.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Departure\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Acheron battled depression alone,\\nnever letting it affect others,\\nand everyone who knew her was fond of her.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Despite an unfortunate childhood and a difficult present,\\nshe didn't complain about her experiences online.\\nShe always faced life's challenges with optimism and positivity.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"But she left us so early that we cannot even see her retreating figure.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"In an instant, we were forever separated, like heaven and earth apart...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://archive.ph/I6EcL\"},\"Acheron, the river was really cold and biting... If there is reincarnation in this world, I will protect you until I wake up from my dream...\")),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"—— WestmereX\"),\"\\n\"))}function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent,props)):_createMdxContent(props)}var _default=MDXContent;"

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"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({h2:\"h2\",p:\"p\",blockquote:\"blockquote\",a:\"a\"},props.components);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"简介\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委是一个年轻可爱,勇敢善良的跨性别女孩。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委在 Bilibili 上传了好几个 Minecraft 流程视频,曾经与九位速通社区的朋友一同在 30:17 内挖空了一整个区块。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她在技术领域也颇有研究,曾经发过小熊派的 hi3861 鸿蒙开发板开箱与基于 Debian 10 安装 Klipper 的视频。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"离世\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委以一己之力与抑郁症对抗,从来不愿意让其他人受到自己的影响,每一个认识她的人都很喜欢她。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"不幸的童年与不幸的当下并没有让她在网络上抱怨,她一直乐观积极地面对着生活。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但她走得太快,快到我们看不清背影。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"刹那之间,天人陌路……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://archive.ph/I6EcL\"},\"委委,河水很冰,很冷吧……这世上若有投胎转世,一定要守护妳,直到梦醒……\")),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"—— WestmereX 丶冷月\"),\"\\n\"))}function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent,props)):_createMdxContent(props)}var _default=MDXContent;"

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---
name: 委委-fairy
info:
alias: Fairy, Acheron
---
## 简介
委委是一个年轻可爱,勇敢善良的跨性别女孩。
委委在 Bilibili 上传了好几个 Minecraft 流程视频,曾经与九位速通社区的朋友一同在 30:17 内挖空了一整个区块。
她在技术领域也颇有研究,曾经发过小熊派的 hi3861 鸿蒙开发板开箱与基于 Debian 10 安装 Klipper 的视频。
## 离世
委委以一己之力与抑郁症对抗,从来不愿意让其他人受到自己的影响,每一个认识她的人都很喜欢她。
不幸的童年与不幸的当下并没有让她在网络上抱怨,她一直乐观积极地面对着生活。
但她走得太快,快到我们看不清背影。
刹那之间,天人陌路……
> [委委,河水很冰,很冷吧……这世上若有投胎转世,一定要守护妳,直到梦醒……](https://archive.ph/I6EcL)
>
> —— WestmereX冷月

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"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({h2:\"h2\",p:\"p\",blockquote:\"blockquote\",a:\"a\"},props.components);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"簡介\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委是一個年青可愛,善良勇敢的跨性別女孩。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委在 Bilibili 上載了好幾個 Minecraft 流程影片,曾經與九位速通社區的夥伴一起在 30:17 內挖空了一整個 Chunk.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她在技術領域也頗有研究,曾經發過小熊派的 hi3861 鴻蒙開發板開箱和基礎於 Debian 10 安設 Klipper 的視頻。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"離世\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"委委以一己之力與抑鬱對抗,從來不願意讓其他人受到自己的影響。每一個認識她的人都很喜歡她。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"不幸的童年與不幸的現實並沒有讓她在網路上抱怨。她一直樂觀積極地面對著生活。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但她走的太快,快到我們看不清背影。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"剎那之間,天人陌路...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://archive.ph/I6EcL\"},\"委委,河水很冰,很冷吧……这世上若有投胎转世,一定要守护妳,直到梦醒……\")),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"—— WestmereX 丶冷月\"),\"\\n\"))}function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent,props)):_createMdxContent(props)}var _default=MDXContent;"

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{"id":"Rentable_A","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["Alias","Ren"],["Location","Xinxiang, Henan"],["Born","2006-06-24"],["Departed","2024-06-20"],["Age",17]],"websites":[["twitter","https://x.com/Rentable_A"]],"name":"Rentable","comments":[]}

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{"id":"Rentable_A","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["昵称","Ren"],["地区","河南新乡"],["出生","2006-06-24"],["逝世","2024-06-20"],["年龄",17]],"websites":[["twitter","https://x.com/Rentable_A"]],"name":"Rentable","comments":[]}

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{"id":"Rentable_A","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png","info":[["暱稱","Ren"],["地區","河南新鄉"],["誕生","2006-06-24"],["去世","2024-06-20"],["年齡",17]],"websites":[["twitter","https://x.com/Rentable_A"]],"name":"Rentable","comments":[]}

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"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",br:\"br\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\"},props.components);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Does the Heaven accept the MtF individuals?\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Thought a lot\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"From begin to end, I always alone. I want to seek light, but the darkness completely turns me into a lunatic. Sooner or later, I will fall into the abyss of darkness...\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"Nothing. This is the end.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Description\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Rentable, a girl who looks a little mysterious, was from Xinxiang, Henan.\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"Despite this, she will become very active when she is with her friends.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Sometimes take many kinds of drugs...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Has someone she cares about\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"The brain is like a ball of paste wrapped up\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"I cant remember clearly what happened more than ten seconds ago\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"That's it...good night\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"After \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://one-among.us/profile/SS3B_0016\"},\"YanTian\"),\" passed away, she tried to leave this world by cutting her wrists.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That feeling of being stripped away bit by bit\\nWatching myself encounter another self in the hallucination\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Depart\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"After \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"http://www.sanyia.top\"},\"SANYIA\"),\" \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://meow.sanyia.top/index.php/archives/357/\"},\"entered the mental health hospital again\"),\", Rentable burned out her last breath of hope.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Who is homeless and sitting on the street crying at three o'clock?\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"It turns out to be me...\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"SANYIA once told her that she would be discharged from the hospital in July, and this became the last straw for her.\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"She finally chose to leave at the beginning of the rainy season\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Hope you are well in another world\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"p\",{style:\"font-size: 0.001px;\"},\"醉后不知天在水,满船清梦压星河\"))}function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent,props)):_createMdxContent(props)}var _default=MDXContent;"

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"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",br:\"br\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\"},props.components);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"天堂会收 mtf 吗\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"想了很多\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"自始至终我都是一个人,我想寻求光明,可黑暗将我彻底堕落成疯子的模样,这样下去我也迟早会坠入那黑暗的深渊…\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"没什么,说到这里就结束吧\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"简介\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Rentable, 来自河南新乡,是一个看起来有些神秘的女孩子。\\n尽管如此她在和朋友们在一起的时候会变成一个很活跃的孩子呢\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"有时候会吃好多好多种药……\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"有一个关心着的人呢\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"脑子就好像一团浆糊被包了起来\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"十几秒前发生的事都记不太清了\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"就这样吧…晚安\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://one-among.us/profile/SS3B_0016\"},\"盐田\"),\"离世后,曾试图通过割腕离开这个世界。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"那种理智一点一点被剥离的感觉\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"眼睁睁看着自己在幻觉中遇到另外一个自己\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"离世\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"http://www.sanyia.top/\"},\"阳喵\"),Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://meow.sanyia.top/index.php/archives/357/\"},\"再次进入精神病院\"),\"之后Rentable 燃尽了最后一丝希望。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"是谁凌晨三点无家可归坐在街边哭呀\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"原来是我呀\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"雪阳曾告诉她大约会在 7 月出院,而这也成为压倒她的最后一根稻草。\\n她最终还是梅雨季的开始选择了离开\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"好难受好孤独好寂寞…为什么最后是这个样子收场……我好想她……都怪我没能替你看管好她……\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"愿你在另一个世界一切安好\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"p\",{style:\"font-size: 0.001px;\"},\"醉后不知天在水,满船清梦压星河\"))}function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent,props)):_createMdxContent(props)}var _default=MDXContent;"

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---
name: Rentable
info:
alias: Ren
location: 河南新乡
---
> 天堂会收mtf吗
想了很多
自始至终我都是一个人,我想寻求光明,可黑暗将我彻底堕落成疯子的模样,这样下去我也迟早会坠入那黑暗的深渊…
没什么,说到这里就结束吧
## 简介
Rentable, 来自河南新乡, 是一个看起来有些神秘的女孩子.
尽管如此, 她在和朋友们在一起的时候会变成一个很活跃的孩子呢
有时候会吃好多好多种药……
有一个关心着的人呢
> 脑子就好像一团浆糊被包了起来
> 十几秒前发生的事都记不太清了
> 就这样吧…晚安
[盐田](https://one-among.us/profile/SS3B_0016)离世后, 曾试图通过割腕离开这个世界.
> 那种理智一点一点被剥离的感觉
> 眼睁睁看着自己在幻觉中遇到另外一个自己
## 离世
[阳喵](http://www.sanyia.top/)[再次进入精神病院](https://meow.sanyia.top/index.php/archives/357/)之后, Rentable 燃尽了最后一丝希望.
> 是谁凌晨三点无家可归坐在街边哭呀
> 原来是我呀
雪阳曾告诉她大约会在 7 月出院, 而这也成为压倒她的最后一根稻草.
她最终还是梅雨季的开始选择了离开
> 好难受好孤独好寂寞…为什么最后是这个样子收场……我好想她……都怪我没能替你看管好她……
愿你在另一个世界一切安好
<p style="font-size: 0.001px;">醉后不知天在水,满船清梦压星河</p>

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---
name: 诀蛰
info:
alias: 诀蛰
location: 中国广西
---
## 导语
> 诀蛰是一个来自广西农村的跨性别女孩,学历不高,但她的内心有属于自己的那份勇气。
>
> 我们所能看到的许多跨性别女性,有着不一样的背景,不一样的经历。
>
> 可能我们更容易看到,许多自带光芒的,试图用知识与学历打破禁锢的女孩们。
>
> 但在这广袤无垠的土地上,还有更多,更多的跨性别女性们,应当被看见。
>
> 诀蛰所留下的文字并不多,因此我们保留了她自述中的第一人称笔法,从而留下她在这个世界上更多的痕迹。
>
> 「女孩啊,不要自卑呢……妳不是怪胎呢,大家一直与妳同在。」
>
> —— 那些秋叶
## 诀蛰的自述
在俺小学的时候,很喜欢女生白白嫩嫩还没体毛的皮肤,还可以随心所欲地打扮自己,留长长的头发,还可以扎辫子,最重要的是可以穿裙子哎,超棒的好嘛,每次看到别的女生俺都会羡慕她们。
俺也有偷偷穿过俺姐的裙子,很开心又很害怕,害怕被别人发现。俺讨厌自己的第二性征,为什么俺不可以是女生……
俺也讨厌那些被贴在身上的标签,俺不能接受,但性别又不是自己能决定的,俺注定改变不了什么,在别人的印象中男生就只能是那种大大咧咧邋里邋遢的样子嘛。
俺有一个很懂事的姐姐,做什么事都很照顾俺,俺顶嘴被老爸打了也会第一时间来安慰俺。和她待在一起的日子里,俺感觉很幸福,不过这份短暂的幸福只持续到了她小学毕业……
也可能有点家庭原因,小时候老爸抽烟喝酒赌博全都沾,还喜欢家暴,他经常打俺。有一次打得小腿都留下了一条很粗的黑色的印子。俺老妈被家暴几次后就去了外省打工,老爸经常赌博到凌晨都不回来,俺一个人又不敢睡,只能一直开着电视躲在靠墙那边的床角,可能是因为这种从小缺爱的家庭环境让俺更渴望被爱吧………
俺是那种被动型人格,没有主见,自怨自艾,总是逃避,过分在意他人的评价,渴望被认可。可就算再难过,俺面对别人的时候也会挤出一丝笑容,害怕被别人误解。
虽然只有发小愿意陪俺,但俺更渴望能和女孩子一起玩,那时候看到女同学玩花绳,跳皮筋俺都想过去跟她们一起玩,无奈没有勇气迈出那一步,只能远远观望。俺记得非常清楚的是有一次大课间,俺一个人站在角落望着远处的女同学玩跳皮筋,看了很久,很想过去跟她们一起玩,但又害怕被笑,就没敢开口,到最后终于有个女孩看到俺了,邀请俺过去一起玩跳皮筋,俺刚想走过去的时候上课铃就响了,那时候真的很伤心,这件事俺现在依旧记忆深刻……
哎……这种想法一直藏在俺心底没和任何人提起过,直到之前偶然间从网络上了解到了药娘,雌激素和跨性别,改变了俺刻板的想法,深入了解后毫不犹豫的就去找途径买糖吃……
## 诀蛰的离开
> 「本来就不抱有能被接受的期望,生来就是个不合群的怪胎……」
在那天,那位女孩躲到了人们难以发现的山上,准备结束这一切。
她知道她的家庭经济条件没法将她挽救回来。
她总觉得自己是个累赘……
> 「好浓,好苦,好咸……」
>
> 「希望来世可以当个女孩子……对不起,死了还要别人为俺担心……」
向那位女孩说晚安吧,她只是太累了,睡着了呢……

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---
name: 檩
info:
alias: 檩
location: 陕西西安
---
## 简介
檩是一个学习艺术的跨性别女孩,在她的推文中,我们能够看到许多她的画作草稿。
<div style="display: flex; margin: auto; gap: 80px; flex-direction: row; justify-self: center; justify-content: center; justify-items: center; flex-wrap: wrap">
<PhotoScroll photos={[
'${path}/photos/photo4.jpg',
'${path}/photos/photo5.jpg',
'${path}/photos/photo6.jpg',
]} />
<PhotoScroll photos={[
'${path}/photos/photo1.png',
'${path}/photos/photo2.png',
'${path}/photos/photo3.png',
]} />
</div>
她也有着一颗童心,会对各种可爱的玩具感兴趣。
檩有着复杂的家庭情况。她的家庭是重组家庭,父母各有一个孩子,在一起之后就有了她。
在她小时候,身边有着许多人陪伴,她感到很幸福。
但在上小学之后,一切都改变了,她的父亲赚了钱,变了心,和她的母亲经常吵架,最后离了婚……
她与她的母亲搬到了另一个地方,家里的经济条件也没有以前好了。母亲经常往家里带其他的男人,并告诉她,这是「合作伙伴」。
那段时间,檩过得很难受,伴随着抑郁和焦虑。后来,她了解到了跨性别,最后确立了自己想要当女孩子的想法。
她的朋友不多,只有两三个朋友,其中有一个女孩子对她很好,她们经常在一起聊天。
她母亲的男朋友对她动过手,虽然她的母亲有所阻止,但她仍然经常受到来自他的暴力。
后来,就是出柜,跑路,回家,被打的连续的故事了。
她很怕疼,但她并不知道该怎么办……
她不知道为什么她家会变成现在这个样子,自己又是怎么变成现在的样子。
再后来,是自伤,是孤独……还有进一步的精神崩溃。
有一次,她在一篇推文中写道:
> 朋友,对于我来说就是:他是我的唯一,我却是他的之一,害怕孤独,却不得不去习惯孤独。
>
> 一个人看电影,一个人打游戏,一个人去电玩,一个人去医院……活得有点失败呢……
>
> 害怕被人发现,又期待着别人的关心,有时候一个拥抱,一句关心比再多药物来得都管用,整天装着正常,装开朗……
>
> 关上手机,闭上眼睛,孤独感扑面而来,过去的痛苦和走马灯一样在眼前闪烁……
后来的后来,她选择离开了这个世界。
檩曾经写道:下辈子想当一只猫猫,没有学习,没有工作,没有烦恼,只有喵喵……
希望她能如愿,做一只可爱,幸福的猫猫呢……

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