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[PR] Merge pull request #231 from Twinsherry/Jennife
[+] Add Jennife80677612
This commit is contained in:
commit
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people/Jennife80677612/info.yml
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people/Jennife80677612/info.yml
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id: Jennife80677612
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profileUrl: ${path}/photos/profile.jpg
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info:
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born: '2005-06-01'
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died: '2024-01-01'
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websites:
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twitter: https://twitter.com/Jennife80677612
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people/Jennife80677612/page.en.md
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people/Jennife80677612/page.en.md
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---
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name: Jennifer
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info:
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alias: Jennife, Jennifer
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location: Hebei, China
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---
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> I am in so much pain, indeed.
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>
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> I also know that many transgender friends on Twitter are in pain as well.
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>
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> But we all have to strive to live.
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>
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> Even if no one around me supports me, I know that you are there across the internet.
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>
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> So I am not alone.
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## Experience
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Jennifer was a trans girl longing for happiness.
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Her avatar was Vtuber Yukihana Lamy,
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and she enjoyed playing rhythm game Project Sekai.
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When she was 13 years old,
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she told her parents for the first time, "**I want to be a girl.**"
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However, her parents dismissed it,
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thinking that she was influenced by her classmates,
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and strongly denied her thought with harsh words.
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At that time, Jennifer didn't know what "transgender" meant,
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but she understood the negative connotation of her parents' harsh words.
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Nevertheless, she bravely expressed her wish to them:
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> "I just want to be a normal girl, to study and live like other girls..."
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In her innocence,
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she thought they would understand,
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but it was only the beginning of her nightmare.
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After starting junior high school,
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she tried to make her parents understand her better.
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So she start to find information about "transgender" online.
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She even read academic papers, attempting to communicate with her parents.
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Jennifer said:
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> "Transgender identity is something I was born with... It's just that a girl's soul is in the wrong body. I don't even ask for SRS. But can you just let me wear girls' clothes, and grow my hair long? I know I'm not pretty, but is it a crime to want to wear girls' clothes?"
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But all her efforts were in vain,
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and what she received in return was more scolding.
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Later, in a state of extreme mental distress,
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she got into a vocational high school.
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However, after one year,
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her parents forced her to take a gap,
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claiming that "vocational schools are full of bad kids."
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Since then, she had been living under her parents' constant surveillance,
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with no privacy and no sense of security.
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Nearly four years of mental control caused her to develop several mental illnesses.
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Online psychometric scales showed that she was severely depressed, anxious, and mentally exhausted, but she couldn't go to a regular hospital for treatment.
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In June 2023, Jennifer turned 18.
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She was eager to find a job and leave home.
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Due to her lack of education,
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she could only work at a local beverage shop,
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earning just enough to make ends meet.
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But she knew it would be a long time to escape her original family.
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She had to present herself as male for job interviews and work,
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and everyone referred to her with the wrong pronouns,
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which caused her great distress.
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> "I really can't live with a mask on... Is it so hard to be myself..."
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Despite this, she felt that even working as a server every day was better than staying in the suffocating environment at home.
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She seemed to see a glimmer of hope.
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During that time, she even thought that if she could just endure and save enough money,
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she could live on her own and free herself from her family.
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Unfortunately, her improved mental state didn't last long.
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Her depression and anxiety often caused uncontrollable episodes,
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and after working for just over a month,
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she had to leave her job and return home.
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After returning home,
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the harsh words flooded her ears once again.
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But by then,
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her heart had grown numb.
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## Departure
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Jennifer once said, "Jennifer is a strong girl nya~ Jennifer won't block anyone."
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But there was one time, and the last time,
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she made an exception:
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"I blocked the account of Han Lianyi. I think she's a great person, but I don't want her to save me. I'm sorry, Sister Han, I'm so sorry..."
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As the New Year approached,
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fireworks and firecrackers were alight with spark,
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carrying people's best wishes.
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The warm glow of lights filled thousands of homes.
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But Jennifer left this world in the biting cold wind,
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Her story remained in the New Year's Eve.
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Brief illusions brought her happiness and kept her from the cold...
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But until the end of her story,
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she never got to take estrogen,
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wear a beautiful dress,
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or be called "Miss."
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Jennifer, may you no longer suffer and find the happiness in another world.
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people/Jennife80677612/page.md
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people/Jennife80677612/page.md
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---
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name: 珍妮QwQ
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info:
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alias: Jennife, Jennifer
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location: 中国河北
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---
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> 我很痛苦,我确实很痛苦。
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>
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> 我也知道,推上的许多跨性别的兄弟姐妹,ta 们都很痛苦。
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>
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> 但是,我们都要努力地活着。
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>
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> 即使身边没有人支持我,还有隔着网线的你们在,我就知道我不是孤身一人。
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## 经历
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珍妮是一个渴望快乐的跨性别女孩,头像是雪花菈米,喜欢玩音乐游戏 Project Sekai。
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13 岁的时候,她第一次和父母说「我想做一个女孩」。但她的父母不以为意,认为她受到了同学的影响,并用刺耳的言语强烈地否定了她。
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珍妮当时并不知道什么是「跨性别」,但她知道父母口中刺耳的话语意味着什么。
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不过,她依旧勇敢地向他们表达了自己真实的愿望:
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> 「我只是想当个普普通通的女孩子,和其他的女孩子一样,正常学习,正常生活……」
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小时候的她天真地以为他们会懂,但那只是她噩梦的开始。
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初中以后,她尝试让家长进一步理解她,并在网上查到了「跨性别」相关的概念,甚至找来学术论文,试图与父母沟通。
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珍妮这样说道:
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> 「这是天生的……只是一个女孩子的灵魂住错了身体。做手术我就不奢求了,你们能不能让我穿一穿女孩子的衣服,留一留女孩子的发型呢?我知道我长得丑,但我想穿着女孩子的衣服,是什么犯罪的事情吗?」
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但一切都是徒劳的,她的努力换来的也是更多的责骂。
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后来,她在精神状态极度糟糕的情况下,考上了一所职业高中。然而,读了一年以后,家长又以“职高里都是坏孩子”为理,强制给她办了休学。
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从此,她便一直活在家长的监视之下,没有隐私,没有安全感。
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将近四年的精神控制使她得了许多精神类疾病,她在网上测试的量表显示她已经是重度抑郁焦虑与精神衰弱,可她没有办法去正规医院就诊。
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2023 年 6 月,珍妮迎来了 18 岁生日。她迫不及待地想找份工作离开家里。
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由于学历不够,她只能在当地的奶茶店打工,日薪勉强能维持生计。
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但她知道,想要逃离原生家庭,还有很长的路要走。
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她只能以男性身份去面试和工作,所有人都以错误的性别代词称呼她,这让她感到很痛苦。
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> 「我果然还是不适合戴着面具生活呀……做真实的自己就这么难吗……」
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尽管如此,她觉得,哪怕天天当服务员,也比在家里的窒息环境待着要好。
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她似乎看到了曙光。在那段时间里,她甚至觉得只要熬过去,挣到钱了,就能够自己出去居住,从而摆脱原生家庭的束缚。
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但好景不长,她的抑郁与焦虑常让她不受控制地犯病,在坚持工作了一个多月之后,她就离职回家了。
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回家以后,那些刺耳的话语又重新涌入了她的耳中。
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但此时,她的内心已经麻木了。
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## 离世
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珍妮曾说过:「珍妮是一个内心强大的女孩子喵,珍妮不屏蔽任何人。」
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但唯有一次,也是最后的一次,她破例了:
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「我屏蔽了寒涟漪,我觉得她很伟大,但我不希望她能救我。对不起,寒姐姐,对不起。」
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新年之际,烟火和鞭炮寄托着人们的心愿,
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千万家里的灯火温暖而明亮,
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但珍妮却在凌冽的寒风之中离开了,
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她的故事留在了跨年夜之中。
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短暂的幻觉给她带来了快乐,也让她不再寒冷……
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可直到故事的结尾,她也没能吃上雌二醇,没能穿上漂亮的小裙子,没能被人叫过一声小姐姐。
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珍妮,愿你在那边的世界中不再受苦,得到想要的快乐。
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people/Jennife80677612/page.zh_hant.md
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people/Jennife80677612/page.zh_hant.md
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---
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name: 珍妮QwQ
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info:
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alias: Jennife, Jennifer
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location: 中國河北
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---
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> 我很痛苦,我確實很痛苦。
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>
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> 我也知道,推特上的許多跨性別的兄弟姐妹,ta 們都很痛苦。
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>
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> 但是,我們都要努力地活著。
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>
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> 即使身邊沒有人支持我,還有隔著網纜的你們在,我就知道我不是孤身一人。
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## 經歷
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珍妮是一個渴望快樂的跨性別女孩,頭像是雪花菈米,喜歡玩音樂遊戲 Project Sekai。
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13 歲的時候,她第一次和父母說「我想做一個女孩」。但她的父母不以為意,認為她受到了同學的影響,並用刺耳的言語強烈地否定了她。
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珍妮當時並不知道什麼是「跨性別」,但她知道父母口中刺耳的話語意味著什麼。
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不過,她依舊勇敢地向他們表達了自己真實的願望:
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> 「我只是想當個普普通通的女孩子,和其他的女孩子一樣,正常學習,正常生活……」
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小時候的她天真地以為他們會懂,但那只是她噩夢的開始。
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初中以後,她嘗試讓家長進一步理解她,並在網上查到了「跨性別」相關的概念,甚至找來學術論文,試圖與父母溝通。
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珍妮這樣說道:
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> 「這是天生的……只是一個女孩子的靈魂住錯了身體。做手術我就不奢求了,你們能不能讓我穿一穿女孩子的衣服,留一留女孩子的髮型呢?我知道我長得醜,但我想穿著女孩子的衣服,是什麼犯罪的事情嗎?」
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但一切都是徒勞的,她的努力換來的也是更多的責駡。
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後來,她在精神狀態極度糟糕的情況下,考上了一所職業高中。然而,讀了一年以後,家長又以“職高裡都是壞孩子”為理,強制給她辦了休學。
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從此,她便一直活在家長的監視之下,沒有隱私,沒有安全感。
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將近四年的精神控制使她得了許多精神類疾病,她在網上測試的量表顯示她已經是重度抑鬱焦慮與精神衰弱,可她沒有辦法去正規醫院就診。
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2023 年 6 月,珍妮迎來了 18 歲生日。她迫不及待地想找份工作離開家裡。
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由於學歷不夠,她只能在當地的奶茶店打工,日薪勉強能維持生計。
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但她知道,想要逃離原生家庭,還有很長的路要走。
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她只能以男性身份去面試和工作,所有人都以錯誤的性別代詞稱呼她,這讓她感到很痛苦。
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> 「我果然還是不適合戴著面具生活呀……做真實的自己就這麼難嗎……」
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儘管如此,她覺得,哪怕天天當服務員,也比在家裡的窒息環境待著要好。
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她似乎看到了曙光。在那段時間裡,她甚至覺得只要熬過去,掙到錢了,就能夠自己出去居住,從而擺脫原生家庭的束縛。
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但好景不長,她的抑鬱與焦慮常讓她不受控制地犯病,在堅持工作了一個多月之後,她就離職回家了。
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回家以後,那些刺耳的話語又重新湧入了她的耳中。
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但此時,她的內心已經麻木了。
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## 離世
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珍妮曾說過:「珍妮是一個內心強大的女孩子喵,珍妮不封鎖任何人。」
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但唯有一次,也是最後的一次,她破例了:
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「我封鎖了寒漣漪,我覺得她很偉大,但我不希望她能救我。對不起,寒姐姐,對不起。」
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新年之際,煙火和鞭炮寄託著人們的心願,
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千萬家裡的燈火溫暖而明亮,
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但珍妮卻在淩冽的寒風之中離開了,
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她的故事留在了跨年夜之中。
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短暫的幻覺給她帶來了快樂,也讓她不再寒冷……
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可直到故事的結尾,她也沒能吃上雌二醇,沒能穿上漂亮的小裙子,沒能被人叫過一聲小姐姐。
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珍妮,願你在那邊的世界中不再受苦,得到想要的快樂。
|
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