diff --git a/people-list.en.json b/people-list.en.json index 0fc73d6e..5f81728d 100644 --- a/people-list.en.json +++ b/people-list.en.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"Barron","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"Ling Shui Yu Yu Zi","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"Qi","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"Considerate Cat","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"Zha 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+[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"Barron","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"Ling Shui Yu Yu Zi","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"Qi","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"Considerate Cat","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"Zha 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Yushu","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"noname","sortKey":"0","id":"noname","name":"noname","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.png"}] \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people-list.json b/people-list.json index 709623b2..8f6153b4 100644 --- a/people-list.json +++ b/people-list.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"巴伦","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"泠水魚魚子","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"祁","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"小屁孩猫猫","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"扎克","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"ArtsEpiphany","sortKey":"2023-03-13","id":"ArtsEpiphany","name":"ArtsEpiphany","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/Arts.png"},{"path":"yingying","sortKey":"2023-02-26","id":"yingying","name":"樱樱","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Mio","sortKey":"2023-02-25","id":"Mio","name":"Mio","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"akasa_musha","sortKey":"2023-02-06","id":"akasa_musha","name":"星云羽雪","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"noname3031","sortKey":"2023-01-13","id":"noname3031","name":"noah","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"wangzihao980","sortKey":"2023-01-05","id":"wangzihao980","name":"Chica 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\ No newline at end of file +[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"巴伦","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"泠水魚魚子","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"祁","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"小屁孩猫猫","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"扎克","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"ArtsEpiphany","sortKey":"2023-03-13","id":"ArtsEpiphany","name":"ArtsEpiphany","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/Arts.png"},{"path":"yingying","sortKey":"2023-02-26","id":"yingying","name":"樱樱","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Mio","sortKey":"2023-02-25","id":"Mio","name":"Mio","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"akasa_musha","sortKey":"2023-02-06","id":"akasa_musha","name":"星云羽雪","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"noname3031","sortKey":"2023-01-13","id":"noname3031","name":"noah","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"wangzihao980","sortKey":"2023-01-05","id":"wangzihao980","name":"Chica 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\ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people-list.zh_hant.json b/people-list.zh_hant.json index 1056abab..e74846c9 100644 --- a/people-list.zh_hant.json +++ b/people-list.zh_hant.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"巴倫","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"泠水魚魚子","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"祁","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"小屁孩貓貓","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"紮克","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"ArtsEpiphany","sortKey":"2023-03-13","id":"ArtsEpiphany","name":"ArtsEpiphany","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/Arts.png"},{"path":"yingying","sortKey":"2023-02-26","id":"yingying","name":"櫻櫻","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Mio","sortKey":"2023-02-25","id":"Mio","name":"Mio","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"akasa_musha","sortKey":"2023-02-06","id":"akasa_musha","name":"星雲羽雪","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"noname3031","sortKey":"2023-01-13","id":"noname3031","name":"noah","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"wangzihao980","sortKey":"2023-01-05","id":"wangzihao980","name":"Chica 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\ No newline at end of file +[{"path":"Barron12312","sortKey":"2023-11-14","id":"Barron12312","name":"巴倫","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"CuspariaKLSY","sortKey":"2023-08-01","id":"CuspariaKLSY","name":"泠水魚魚子","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"qiqi233345","sortKey":"2023-07-01","id":"qiqi233345","name":"祁","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"s5ehfr9","sortKey":"2023-06-16","id":"s5ehfr9","name":"s5ehfr9","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Considerate_cat","sortKey":"2023-05-14","id":"Considerate_cat","name":"小屁孩貓貓","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"keyword233","sortKey":"2023-04-19","id":"keyword233","name":"keyword233","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/photos1.jpg"},{"path":"Zha_Ke","sortKey":"2023-04-06","id":"Zha_Ke","name":"紮克","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"ArtsEpiphany","sortKey":"2023-03-13","id":"ArtsEpiphany","name":"ArtsEpiphany","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/Arts.png"},{"path":"yingying","sortKey":"2023-02-26","id":"yingying","name":"櫻櫻","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"Mio","sortKey":"2023-02-25","id":"Mio","name":"Mio","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"akasa_musha","sortKey":"2023-02-06","id":"akasa_musha","name":"星雲羽雪","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"noname3031","sortKey":"2023-01-13","id":"noname3031","name":"noah","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg"},{"path":"wangzihao980","sortKey":"2023-01-05","id":"wangzihao980","name":"Chica 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\ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/Xu_Yushu/info.en.json b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.en.json new file mode 100644 index 00000000..cdf85c0b --- /dev/null +++ b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.en.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +{"id":"Xu_Yushu","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg","info":[["Location","Chongqing, Nan'an"],["Departed","2019-11-13"]],"name":"Xu Yushu","websites":[],"comments":[]} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/Xu_Yushu/info.json b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.json new file mode 100644 index 00000000..c0198127 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +{"id":"Xu_Yushu","profileUrl":"${path}/photos/profile.jpg","info":[["地区","重庆南岸"],["逝世","2019-11-13"]],"name":"徐誉舒","websites":[],"comments":[]} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/Xu_Yushu/info.zh_hant.json b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.zh_hant.json new file mode 100644 index 00000000..10cf8e22 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/Xu_Yushu/info.zh_hant.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ 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_ref=props.components||{},MDXLayout=_ref.wrapper;return MDXLayout?Vue.h(MDXLayout,props,Vue.h(_createMdxContent)):_createMdxContent()}var _default=MDXContent;function _missingMdxReference(id,component){throw new Error(\"Expected \"+(component?\"component\":\"object\")+\" `\"+id+\"` to be defined: you likely forgot to import, pass, or provide it.\")}" \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/people/Xu_Yushu/page.md b/people/Xu_Yushu/page.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..dc7d0a12 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/Xu_Yushu/page.md @@ -0,0 +1,107 @@ +--- +name: 徐誉舒 +info: + location: 重庆南岸 +--- + +## 简介 + +徐誉舒是一位来自中国重庆的跨性别女性。 + +在外人看来，徐誉舒是一位光辉璀璨的“天才少年”，甚至曾以一篇《不上幼儿园的孩子》的特别报道登上了《荆门晚报》。 + +不过，或许那些光环并不是她最重要的部分。重要的是，她有着一颗宝贵而独特的，温柔且敏感的内心，有着通过文字表达内心情感的欲望，也许用“文学少女”来形容她更为贴切。 + +## 她的爱好与梦想 + +徐誉舒的梦想之一是被身边的人接纳，作为一个真正的女孩子生活。 + +徐誉舒从小就是孤独的孩子，但她更乐意与文字为友，阅读让她的心比同龄人成熟许多。她喜欢泡在书的世界里，在那时，她的书架就已经十分充实。不仅如此，她还常去父亲店铺隔壁的书店看书，给书店老板留下了很深刻的印象。 + +在初高中时期，南岸区万达广场的西西弗书店是她生前最喜欢去的地方之一。于此，她能在在咖啡与书香的气息中找到那一抹宁静。 + +她非常热爱写作，曾担任重庆二外南麓文学社社长。她将写作比作“献祭”，在一篇作文之中，她写道：“真正的写作是一场献祭，把自己作为祭品摆上缪斯女神的祭坛。” + +尽管由于深陷抑郁症和性别焦虑的泥潭，她的成绩有所下滑，但她仍然向往着北京大学和北京师范大学的中文系。 + +除了喜欢文学与历史之外，她还喜欢动漫，并乐于和其他人一起分享自己喜欢的动漫周边。 + +## 她的心路与足迹 + +早在小学三年级时，徐誉舒就有了想成为女生的想法，并在发现自己的外观朝男性化发育之时，把自己关在屋子里哭了一整天，不敢面对镜子里的自己。而在她上六年级的时候，有很多同学因为她的与众不同而欺负她，但她的父亲只是对她说：“这个世界需要宽容，需要去放下。这个世界上有很多傻瓜和无赖，正因为那些人的存在，才衬托你的优秀。” + +她有着一本厚厚的小学同学录，却只填满了薄薄十几页纸，其中不乏不堪入目的“赠言”，但她仍在同学录的末尾自行填写了三页，上面填写的姓名分别是“徐誉舒一” “徐誉舒二” “徐誉舒三”，并为自己赠言：“杀了他，去找她。”此时的她已经强烈不认同自己的指派性别。 + +初二开学后不久，她的状态开始下滑，尽管母亲建议她休学，但由于父亲强势的管教方式，她向父亲正式提出休学时，父亲并未同意，反而以及其严厉的语气呵斥了她。那一刻的她无法勇敢表达出自己的内心世界。一段时间之后，她在学校有轻生的举动，但未能得到重视。 + +在高一的迎新晚会之时，虽然她没有表演节目的安排，但她仍然精心准备了好几天，穿上了红色的裙子和小皮鞋，那双皮鞋有些不太合脚，不过她还是很坚定地装扮自己喜欢的样子走出了宿舍。 + +2018 年元旦时节，她在《病中随笔·其一》中勇敢地写下了她的心路历程。尽管她的老师留下了“恕我直言，你想太多了”的批语，但仍夸赞了她面对生活的勇气，并建议她读一读史铁生的作品。 + + + +春节后，徐誉舒确诊抑郁症住院，住院期间她单独和妈妈提起，在学校里面发生了一件很严重的事情，并且这件事已经触犯了法律，但当母亲问她是否需要报警时，她却表现得很犹豫。母亲怕影响她抑郁症的治疗，没有继续追问。从后来的聊天记录来看，她可能已经遭受性侵犯不止一次。 + +在住院期间，她写下了《病中随笔·其二》，开头写道：“整颗心都系在了即将通过顺丰快递抵达的那几个小小盒子上，那是我能抓住的最后的救命稻草……”她说，(盒子里的小药片) 是晚霞的眼睛，这光是那么的脆弱易逝，但我义无反顾地做了，明知那会让我滑入深渊，再无退路。”有时她又将它比作是“潘多拉的魔盒。”她写到：“你明知不可，却仍贪念盒底虚妄的希望。”此时的她已经自行开始了HRT治疗。 + +2019 年 2 月，她离家出走去了东北，给家人留下一封书信，上面写道： + +>「抱歉，勿念。我没有感知美好的能力，即使我知道它们存在我的生活中。假装自己拥有这种能力很累，我浑浑噩噩地活着，每日寻求麻痹自己的方法，我不愿这样生活，所以我要上路去寻找什么，请你们千万不要找我……我爱你们。」 + +这次东北之行，她本计划去参加一场漫展，可惜并未成功。 + +## 她的离开 + +在她选择离开前一周，她仍然深深地拥抱了她的母亲。 + +11 月 12 日下午，她和她的同学聚在一起看游戏视频，并和旁边的一位同学说：“这可能是最后一次一起看视频了”。但大家都未曾想到这最后一次是指“生离死别”。同日，她提到自己已经处于“社会性死亡”的状态，但也许是她平时的话语中都会带有较为深刻的词汇，因此亦没有人在意。 + +11 月 13 日清晨，她选择结束自己绚烂而年轻的生命，并留下了这样的遗书： + + + +> 「我的灵魂会飞向格拉丹东峰，我曾嘲讽说西藏是文艺青年的干洗机，可我好想去那里。」 + +## 身后 + +### 相关报道 + +《三联生活周刊》的报道之中相对全面地叙述了她的故事，在惋惜她的离世之时，也在追忆她曾经的光环，并真实地描述了徐誉舒的心路历程。 + +“思睿明精神心理健康”等关注青少年精神心理或青少年教育的自媒体所发布的文章则借徐誉舒离世的事件，着笔于包含抑郁症在内的青少年心理健康领域。 + +“山东彩虹说”等跨性别领域的知乎答主发表文章悼念徐誉舒，并进行了跨性别相关知识的科普。 + +### 关于家人 + +徐誉舒的父亲在得知她所受到的欺凌和侵犯后积极与班主任沟通，并于她离世之后坚决反对校园暴力，并一直活跃在微博积极转发有关抵御校园暴力的内容。在复盘她的成长之后，徐父认为她的死亡逻辑是这样的：因为优秀，在学校里被嫉妒，进而受到校园欺凌，而“唯分数论”的教育环境让孩子的“天才”得不到舒展，双重影响下，苦闷的孩子慢慢走向抑郁、死亡。 + +但在徐誉舒的医生给她开出了“易性症”的诊断时，他只是这样说：“我说宝贝，这个事情毕竟不是眼前最急需的事情。什么是性？性是一种生物学上的概念，是人类延续的行为。有了伴侣结婚的时候再去考虑，现在也不可能去考虑这个事，现在是学习阶段。”听了医生的意见之后，他对徐誉舒说的是，“要去淡化它，不要去强化它。” + +徐父其实一直在试图理解徐誉舒，其在师范学校时学过心理学，并接触过性心理障碍等相关概念，但他并不认为孩子真的有性别认知的问题。他分析，孩子在家时从来“没有任何异常”，没有“非要穿女装、戴假发”，只是因为在学校里受到了欺凌，想成为一位女性，得到别人的关注和保护，“就像你们女孩子总希望找到一个强壮的男朋友保护自己”。 + +而她离世之后，徐父依旧以“儿子”“他”等代词称呼徐誉舒，并且极少提及徐誉舒想要成为女孩子的事情，显然，徐父一方面没有正确认知性别焦虑的知识（可能是由于当年教材的表述已经过时，以及他并不愿意相信孩子的性别转变这一现实），其终究没有意识到性别焦虑也是徐誉舒的核心压力来源之一，在她最需要家庭支持的时候，他作为核心家庭教育者，并未给出足够的支持。 + +虽然她的父母不能完全理解她与她内心的焦虑，但仍然带着她接受正规治疗，也给出了一定的关心。不难想象，也许在另一条世界线，她坚强地迈过了黑暗的地界，并重新走向自己的那份梦想。 + +### 关于朋友 + +尽管徐誉舒常常遭到旁人的不解的目光和欺凌，但仍然有朋友关心着她。 + +家中的课桌上摆放着一名同学送她的礼物——一副扑克牌，尽管这副牌已然陈旧，外壳磨损发白，开口处也有了裂痕。但在专门写给这名同学的遗书中，徐誉舒称他为“最好的朋友”。此外，她还列出了几位要好的朋友，并写道： + +> 「有你们做我的朋友（也许是我一厢情愿），倍感荣幸。」 + +## 结语 + +也许“徐誉舒”并非她最中意的名字或称呼，但由于资料有限，我们暂且无从得知这位少女内心里藏着的那个名字，也许这永远是个秘密吧。 + +虽流年已逝，岁月无声，但也许她的灵魂仍然因着留恋这世界上的那些文字，在街巷转角的书店中驻足。 + +晚安，愿你今夜的梦里也有淡雅的书香。 + + + + + + diff --git a/people/Xu_Yushu/page.zh_hant.json b/people/Xu_Yushu/page.zh_hant.json new file mode 100644 index 00000000..075cbac5 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/Xu_Yushu/page.zh_hant.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function MDXContent(props){if(props===void 0)props={};var _createMdxContent=function _createMdxContent(){var _components=Object.assign({h2:\"h2\",p:\"p\",blockquote:\"blockquote\",h3:\"h3\"},props.components),PhotoScroll=_components.PhotoScroll;if(!PhotoScroll)_missingMdxReference(\"PhotoScroll\",true);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"簡介\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"徐譽舒是一位來自中國重慶的跨性別女性。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"在外人看來，徐譽舒是一位光輝璀璨的“天才少年”，甚至曾以一篇《不上幼兒園的孩子》的特別報道登上了《荆門晚報》。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"不過，或許那些光環幷不是她最重要的部分。重要的是，她有著一顆寶貴而獨特的，温柔且敏感的內心，有著通過文字表達內心情感的欲望，也許用“文學少女”來形容她更為貼切。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"她的愛好與夢想\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"徐譽舒的夢想之一是被身邊的人接納，作為一個眞正的女孩子生活。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"徐譽舒從小就是孤獨的孩子，但她更樂意與文字為友，閲讀讓她的心比同齡人成熟許多。她喜歡泡在書的世界裏，在那時，她的書架就已經十分充實。不僅如此，她還常去父親店鋪隔壁的書店看書，給書店老闆留下了很深刻的印象。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"在初高中時期，南岸區萬達廣場的西西弗書店是她生前最喜歡去的地方之一。於此，她能在在咖啡與書香的氣息中找到那一抹寧靜。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她非常熱愛寫作，曾擔任重慶二外南麓文學社社長。她將寫作比作“獻祭”，在一篇作文之中，她寫道：“眞正的寫作是一場獻祭，把自己作為祭品擺上繆斯女神的祭壇。”\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"盡管由於深陷抑鬱癥和性別焦慮的泥潭，她的成績有所下滑，但她仍然向往著北京大學和北京師範大學的中文繫。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"除了喜歡文學與歷史之外，她還喜歡動漫，幷樂於和其他人一起分享自己喜歡的動漫周邊。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"她的心路與足迹\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"早在小學三年級時，徐譽舒就有了想成為女生的想法，幷在發現自己的外觀朝男性化發育之時，把自己關在屋子裏哭了一整天，不敢面對鏡子裏的自己。而在她上六年級的時候，有很多同學因為她的與眾不同而欺負她，但她的父親只是對她説：“這个世界需要寛容，需要去放下。這个世界上有很多傻瓜和無賴，正因為那些人的存在，才襯託你的優秀。”\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"她有著一本厚厚的小學同學錄，卻只塡滿了薄薄十幾頁紙，其中不乏不堪入目的“贈言”，但她仍在同學錄的末尾自行塡寫了三頁，上面塡寫的姓名分別是“徐譽舒一” “徐譽舒二” “徐譽舒三”，幷為自己贈言：“殺了他，去找她。”此時的她已經強烈不認同自己的指派性別。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"初二開學後不久，她的狀態開始下滑，盡管母親建議她休學，但由於父親強勢的管教方式，她向父親正式提出休學時，父親幷未同意，反而以及其嚴厲的語氣呵斥了她。那一刻的她無法勇敢表達出自己的內心世界。一段時間之後，她在學校有輕生的舉動，但未能得到重視。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"在高一的迎新晚會之時，雖然她沒有表演節目的安排，但她仍然精心準備了好幾天，穿上了紅色的裙子和小皮鞋，那雙皮鞋有些不太合腳，不過她還是很堅定地裝扮自己喜歡的樣子走出了宿舍。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"2018 年元旦時節，她在《病中隨筆\\xb7其一》中勇敢地寫下了她的心路歷程。盡管她的老師留下了“恕我直言，你想太多了”的批語，但仍夸贊了她面對生活的勇氣，幷建議她讀一讀史鐵生的作品。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/composition.jpg\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"春節後，徐譽舒确診抑鬱癥住院，住院期間她單獨和媽媽提起，在學校裏面發生了一件很嚴重的事情，幷且這件事已經觸犯了法律，但當母親問她是否需要報警時，她卻表現得很猶豫。母親怕影響她抑鬱癥的治療，沒有繼續追問。從後來的聊天記錄來看，她可能已經遭受性侵犯不止一次。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"在住院期間，她寫下了《病中隨筆\\xb7其二》，開頭寫道：“整顆心都繫在了即將通過順豐快遞抵達的那幾个小小盒子上，那是我能抓住的最後的救命稻草……”她説，(盒子裏的小藥片) 是晚霞的眼睛，這光是那麽的脆弱易逝，但我義無反顧地做了，明知那會讓我滑入深淵，再無退路。”有時她又將它比作是“潘多拉的魔盒。”她寫到：“你明知不可，卻仍貪念盒底虛妄的希望。”此時的她已經自行開始了 HRT 治療。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"2019 年 2 月，她離家出走去了東北，給家人留下一封書信，上面寫道：\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「抱歉，勿念。我沒有感知美好的能力，即使我知道它們存在我的生活中。假裝自己擁有這種能力很累，我渾渾噩噩地活著，每日尋求麻痹自己的方法，我不願這樣生活，所以我要上路去尋找什麽，請你們千萬不要找我……我愛你們。」\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"這次東北之行，她本計劃去參加一場漫展，可惜幷未成功。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"她的離開\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"在她選擇離開前一周，她仍然深深地擁抱了她的母親。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"11 月 12 日下午，她和她的同學聚在一起看遊戲視頻，幷和旁邊的一位同學説：“這可能是最後一次一起看視頻了”。但大家都未曾想到這最後一次是指“生離死別”。同日，她提到自己已經處於“社會性死亡”的狀態，但也許是她平時的話語中都會帶有較為深刻的詞彙，因此亦沒有人在意。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"11 月 13 日清晨，她選擇結束自己絢爛而年輕的生命，幷留下了這樣的遺書：\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/will.jpg\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「我的靈魂會飛向格拉丹東峰，我曾嘲諷説西藏是文藝靑年的干洗機，可我好想去那裏。」\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"身後\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h3,null,\"相關報道\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"《三聯生活周刊》的報道之中相對全面地敍述了她的故事，在惋惜她的離世之時，也在追憶她曾經的光環，幷眞實地描述了徐譽舒的心路歷程。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“思睿明精神心理健康”等關注靑少年精神心理或靑少年教育的自媒體所發布的文章則借徐譽舒離世的事件，著筆於包含抑鬱癥在內的靑少年心理健康領域。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“山東彩虹説”等跨性別領域的知乎答主發表文章悼念徐譽舒，幷進行了跨性別相關知識的科普。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h3,null,\"關於家人\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"徐譽舒的父親在得知她所受到的欺凌和侵犯後積極與班主任溝通，幷於她離世之後堅決反對校園暴力，幷一直活躍在微博積極轉發有關抵御校園暴力的內容。在復盤她的成長之後，徐父認為她的死亡邏輯是這樣的：因為優秀，在學校裏被嫉妒，進而受到校園欺凌，而“唯分數論”的教育環境讓孩子的“天才”得不到舒展，雙重影響下，苦悶的孩子慢慢走向抑鬱、死亡。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"但在徐譽舒的醫生給她開出了“易性癥”的診斷時，他只是這樣説：“我説寶貝，這个事情畢竟不是眼前最急需的事情。什麽是性？性是一種生物學上的槪念，是人類延續的行為。有了伴侶結婚的時候再去考慮，現在也不可能去考慮這个事，現在是學習階段。”聽了醫生的意見之後，他對徐譽舒説的是，“要去淡化它，不要去強化它。”\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"徐父其實一直在試圖理解徐譽舒，其在師範學校時學過心理學，幷接觸過性心理障礙等相關槪念，但他幷不認為孩子眞的有性別認知的問題。他分析，孩子在家時從來“沒有任何異常”，沒有“非要穿女裝、戴假發”，只是因為在學校裏受到了欺凌，想成為一位女性，得到別人的關注和保護，“就像你們女孩子總希望找到一个強壯的男朋友保護自己”。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"而她離世之後，徐父依舊以“兒子”“他”等代詞稱呼徐譽舒，幷且極少提及徐譽舒想要成為女孩子的事情，顯然，徐父一方面沒有正确認知性別焦慮的知識（可能是由於當年教材的表述已經過時，以及他幷不願意相信孩子的性別轉變這一現實），其終究沒有意識到性別焦慮也是徐譽舒的核心壓力來源之一，在她最需要家庭支持的時候，他作為核心家庭教育者，幷未給出足够的支持。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"雖然她的父母不能完全理解她與她內心的焦慮，但仍然帶著她接受正規治療，也給出了一定的關心。不難想象，也許在另一條世界綫，她堅強地邁過了黑暗的地界，幷重新走向自己的那份夢想。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h3,null,\"關於朋友\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"盡管徐譽舒常常遭到旁人的不解的目光和欺凌，但仍然有朋友關心著她。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"家中的課桌上擺放著一名同學送她的禮物——一副撲克牌，盡管這副牌已然陳舊，外殻磨損發白，開口處也有了裂痕。但在專門寫給這名同學的遺書中，徐譽舒稱他為“最好的朋友”。此外，她還列出了幾位要好的朋友，幷寫道：\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"「有你們做我的朋友（也許是我一廂情願），倍感榮幸。」\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"結語\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"也許“徐譽舒”幷非她最中意的名字或稱呼，但由於資料有限，我們暫且無從得知這位少女內心裏藏著的那个名字，也許這永遠是个秘密吧。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"雖流年已逝，歲月無聲，但也許她的靈魂仍然因著留戀這世界上的那些文字，在街巷轉角的書店中駐足。\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"晚安，願你今夜的夢裏也有淡雅的書香。\"))};var 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