---
name: Mikaela Khara
info:
    alias: Mika
    location: Beijing, China
---


> "Immersed in love and being loved..."

When it comes to the wounds caused by love, Mika must be mentioned.

> "But after meeting Spring Khara, I realized how happy it is to have someone with me."
>
> "But now I have to lose her..."
>
> "I don't want to go on alone anymore."
>
> "Being alone is painful, and I can't see hope."
>
> "𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷, are you there?"
>
> "Can I give you my Twitter account password?"
>
> "It's somewhat bitter..."
>
> "Spring is leaving for Japan, maybe she's boarding the plane now. Tell her I love her."
>
> "I bought some ice cream. When my stomach starts to ache, I'll eat some to suppress it."
>
> "It won't be painful. It won't."

<PhotoScroll photos={[
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Mikaela Khara, also known as Mika,
was a 16-year-old trans girl from Beijing.

She was a top student who attended a special class in a Beijing high school, and her family was fairly well-off.

She enjoyed playing *Dead by Daylight* and researching network engineering.
Many people were willing to engage with her;
she had a wide range of hobbies,
and she gave off a very reliable "big sister" vibe.
Of course, she was indeed older than me.
But the reliability I once thought she had was just a feeling after all...

She had a sense of humor,
was very caring towards others,
but also struggled with gender identity and inner struggle.
She showed a lively side of herself,
but upon closer observation,
she revealed a deep awareness of her own situation.

## First Meeting

I first met Mika on the night of July 31st, 2023.
Her intention was clear ——
she wanted to "ship" me and Jing Jiangbie as a couple.

Later on, I learned that she was in a relationship with Spring Khara.
Even though they hadn't been together long,
I could tell from their conversations that they deeply loved each other.
At that time, she was one of my "little bells[^1]" as I often saw her and Spring flaunting their affection for each other.

Through our chats,
I began to realize that Mika’s family likely offered little emotional support.
She was longed for love and companionship and tended to become emotionally dependent on others.
About half a month later,
the four of us created a small group chat.
Almost every night, we’d make calls together,
and sometimes we’d watch Mika play Dead by Daylight in the voice channel.

I regret never watching Mika play.
Unfortunately, I was busy researching ways to earn money to prepare for my own independence and financial needs.

## The Breaking Point

Money was precisely the breaking point for Mika’s despair.

In late August, she tried coming out but ended up facing serious opposition.
What started as a typical situation—family conflict,
her parents not wanting her to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
So Mika running away from home only to be brought back by the police—ended in conflict resolution at the local police station.

That was originally just a typical thing.

That night, Mika, Spring and I discussed her family conflicts and provided her with psychological support.

Spring realized she had an untouched ¥20,000 (~$2,800, 2023-09) that her family didn’t know about and asked me for advice on how to invest it.

The two of them had a simple plan: escape together.
The next day, they opened a joint account at China Merchants Bank (CMB).

Once they had money, they began indulging in high expenses frequently, posting on Twitter about their luxurious dates.

...

By September, I started noticing cracks in their relationship due to their financial strain and Mika's dependency on Spring.

Later, I found out that Mika sought out [Yemaomao](https://twitter.com/cmtfdd) for companionship,
and what happened during that time was something Spring found hard to accept.

Mika simply wanted to escape because she couldn't bear her family’s constraints on her gender identity.

...

From September 21st to October 4th,
Mika and Spring were in a toxic relationship.
Mika used Spring’s last bit of money to buy a box of Progynon Depot,
but she barely took a few shots in the end.

Mika mostly wanted to be loved and cared for,
trying her best to please others.
However, her circumstances trapped her,
making her love seem pathological to Spring,
though it was still genuine.

## From Xiawafang to Tianjin Eye

On October 15th, Mika suddenly contacted me,
asking if I could take over her Twitter account.
I was on my way to Tianjin Library but suddenly realized something was wrong.
Huai An (𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷's classmate in high school) and I decided to get off at XIAWAFANG Station[^2] and call the police to save Mika.
Before leaving the station, I briefly called Mika, trying to calm her down.

"It’s no use. I’ve locked the door from the inside."
"Tell Spring I love her very much."

Those were Mika’s last words, and at that moment, I felt utterly powerless.

> (To be continued...)

## Epilogue

Mika’s story includes many aspects that I can’t openly share,
such as details about her family, friends.
And those close to her advised me to keep certain things private.
So I can only write up to this point.

One night, in a group chat, I was on a call with Mika.

"𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷, I really want to contribute to the community."

"I want to help many people like me survive."

"But my situation and environment make it difficult."

"If there’s a chance, maybe in the future, I’ll start a company with the name XiaoYaoNiang(XYN)."

"I think those sisters who run shelters are really amazing."

"If I could one day be like them, able to help others…"

"That would be so wonderful."

This is the origin of XYN (Tianjin) Technology.

Excerpt from: [𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷](https://twitter.com/ryq59)'s Chronicle Issue No.33, 2023

[^1]: "Little bells" originally refers to the notification feature on Twitter that alerts users when someone they follow posts a tweet. Users can choose to enable or disable these notifications for specific accounts. Here, 'Little Bell' refers to 𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷 enabling notifications for certain mutual followers (mutuals) to ensure she could promptly like their posts. At that time, 𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷 maintained such interactions with around 300 mutuals.

[^2]: XIAWAFANG Station is an interchange station between Lines 1 and 5 of the Tianjin Rail Transit. Heading south from this station leads to WENHUAZHONGXIN (Cultural Centre) Station, where the Tianjin Library (Cultural Centre Branch) is located."

<!-- 翻译备注： -->

<!-- 先说一下人物关系：
铨：文章的作者，后面的那个节选自是她自己的记录集，可以不用翻直接用传统的contributor写法也不是不行。
江别：璟江别，铨曾经的对象，目前似乎已经不在社群。
Mika：条目主 mikaela_khara
泉：Spring_Khara，mika的对象，目前已经不在社群。
夜猫猫：在 Mika 离开后离开人世，和 Mika 有着特殊关系，并要求不上 OAU。
怀安：铨高中阶段的同伴 

有的事情比较复杂，关于夜猫猫、Mika、泉之间发生的具体的事情，是被本条目模糊处理的内容。
-->

<!-- 整个故事的发生地点主要在天津地区。 -->

<!-- 黎明杀机：Dead by Daylight

CMB：招商银行

下瓦房站：XIAWAFANG Station（备注这个是因为天津用大写拼音，其他城市有用大写的也有用小写的）

天眼：天津之眼摩天轮（这部分故事之前还没写全）

小药娘网络科技：全称“天津小药娘网络科技工作室”，官方英文名称对应 XYN (Tianjin) Technology，由于注册名称等原因似乎有限公司未能注册成功，不能使用 Co.,Ltd，只能使用个人独资的公司，后缀是 Office。 -->