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18 KiB
JSON
"\"use strict\";Object.defineProperty(exports,\"__esModule\",{value:true});Object.defineProperty(exports,\"default\",{enumerable:true,get:function(){return _default}});function _createMdxContent(props){var _components=Object.assign({blockquote:\"blockquote\",p:\"p\",em:\"em\",h2:\"h2\",a:\"a\",br:\"br\"},props.components),PhotoScroll=_components.PhotoScroll;if(!PhotoScroll)_missingMdxReference(\"PhotoScroll\",true);return Vue.h(Vue.Fragment,null,Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Like a warbling oriole gliding below the blossom...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Like a mountain spring purling down a bank...\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"h3\",{align:\"center\"},\"- Immersed in love and being loved -\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"When it comes to the wounds caused by love, Mika must be mentioned.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But after meeting Spring Khara, I realized how happy it is to have someone with me.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But now I have to lose her...\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I don\\'t want to go on alone anymore.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Being alone is painful, and I can\\'t see hope.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7, are you there?\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Can I give you my Twitter account password?\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"It\\'s somewhat bitter...\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"Spring is leaving for Japan, maybe she\\'s boarding the plane now. Tell her I love her.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I bought some ice cream. When my stomach starts to ache, I\\'ll eat some to suppress it.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"\\\"It won't be painful. It won't.\\\"\"),\"\\n\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo1.png\"]}),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mikaela Khara, also known as Mika,\\nwas a 16-year-old trans girl from Beijing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She was a top student who attended a special class in a Beijing high school, and her family was fairly well-off.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She enjoyed playing \",Vue.h(_components.em,null,\"Dead by Daylight\"),' and researching network engineering.\\nMany people were willing to engage with her;\\nshe had a wide range of hobbies,\\nand she gave off a very reliable \"big sister\" vibe.\\nOf course, she was indeed older than me.\\nBut the reliability I once thought she had was just a feeling after all...'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"She had a sense of humor,\\nwas very caring towards others,\\nbut also struggled with gender identity and inner struggle.\\nShe showed a lively side of herself,\\nbut upon closer observation,\\nshe revealed a deep awareness of her own situation.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"First Meeting\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'I first met Mika on the night of July 31st, 2023.\\nHer intention was clear ——\\nshe wanted to \"ship\" me and Jing Jiangbie as a couple.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later on, I learned that she was in a relationship with Spring Khara.\\nEven though they hadn't been together long,\\nI could tell from their conversations that they deeply loved each other.\\nAt that time, she was one of my \\\"little bells\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-1\",id:\"footnote-ref-1\"},\"1\")),'\" as I often saw her and Spring flaunting their affection for each other.'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Through our chats,\\nI began to realize that Mika’s family likely offered little emotional support.\\nShe was longed for love and companionship and tended to become emotionally dependent on others.\\nAbout half a month later,\\nthe four of us created a small group chat.\\nAlmost every night, we’d make calls together,\\nand sometimes we’d watch Mika play Dead by Daylight in the voice channel.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I regret never watching Mika play.\\nUnfortunately, I was busy researching ways to earn money to prepare for my own independence and financial needs.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"The Breaking Point\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Money was precisely the breaking point for Mika’s despair.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"In late August, she tried coming out but ended up facing serious opposition.\\nWhat started as a typical situation—family conflict,\\nher parents not wanting her to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT).\\nSo Mika running away from home only to be brought back by the police—ended in conflict resolution at the local police station.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That was originally just a typical thing.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"That night, Mika, Spring and I discussed her family conflicts and provided her with psychological support.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Spring realized she had an untouched \\xa520,000 (~$2,800, 2023-09) that her family didn’t know about and asked me for advice on how to invest it.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"The two of them had a simple plan: escape together.\\nThe next day, they opened a joint account at China Merchants Bank (CMB).\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Once they had money, they began indulging in high expenses frequently, posting on Twitter about their luxurious dates.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"By September, I started noticing cracks in their relationship due to their financial strain and Mika's dependency on Spring.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I found out that Mika sought out \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/cmtfdd\"},\"Yemaomao\"),\" for companionship,\\nand what happened during that time was something Spring found hard to accept.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika simply wanted to escape because she couldn't bear her family’s constraints on her gender identity.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From September 21st to October 4th,\\nMika and Spring were in a toxic relationship.\\nMika used Spring’s last bit of money to buy a box of Progynon Depot,\\nbut she barely took a few shots in the end.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika mostly wanted to be loved and cared for,\\ntrying her best to please others.\\nHowever, her circumstances trapped her,\\nmaking her love seem pathological to Spring,\\nthough it was still genuine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"From Xiawafang to Tianjin Eye\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"On October 15th, Mika suddenly contacted me,\\nasking if I could take over her Twitter account.\\nI was on my way to Tianjin Library but suddenly realized something was wrong.\\nHuai An (\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7's classmate in high school) and I decided to get off at XIAWAFANG Station\",Vue.h(\"sup\",null,Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-2\",id:\"footnote-ref-2\"},\"2\")),\" and call the police to save Mika.\\nBefore leaving the station, I briefly called Mika, trying to calm her down.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"It’s no use. I’ve locked the door from the inside.\"\\n\"Tell Spring I love her very much.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Those were Mika’s last words, and at that moment, I felt utterly powerless.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"details\",null,Vue.h(\"summary\",null,\"To be continued...\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I received confirmed news of Mika’s departure on October 24th.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Because of a previous competition I qualified for, I went to Sanchakou(three-river-junction) that day.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Since parking wasn’t allowed inside the Children's Palace,\\nwe changed clothes in the parking lot beneath the Tianjin Eye.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And just as we got out of the car, the message came through:\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“They couldn’t bring her back.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“This is Yongle Bridge, with the Tianjin Eye perched on top. It’s a perfect spot for a date. If you ever have the chance to visit, I’ll treat you to a ride~”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“Thank you, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7~ I’ve been thinking about riding it for a while. When the time comes, will you join me?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"As I stood before the Tianjin Eye, these memories came flooding back, freezing everything in place. I forced myself to suppress the sorrow, and although I didn’t perform well, I still completed the final performance of the competition.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Later, I asked a friend about their impression of Mika:\"),Vue.h(_components.blockquote,null,\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think Mika was just a poor child, probably insecure and desperately wanting someone to rely on.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her experiences were so similar to mine.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her body was covered in scars from the beatings she endured at home. When I saw them, I wanted to cry.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I think... she probably died full of grievances. It didn’t seem like relief at all.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From what I could tell, before she died, she still wanted to feel love. If someone could have gone to her in person and hugged her, it might have made a difference.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I could have gone...\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I had promised to visit her in December, to spend Christmas with her, to make dumplings and eat boiled shrimp together.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"There were times when it felt like she was begging me to come.\"),\"\\n\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"From Sanchakou,\\nif you follow the Ziya River and the North Canal upstream,\\nthe currents will carry you northward,\\nall the way to the heart of Beijing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"And now, here I am,\\nstanding at Sanchakou,\\nwhere past memories and thoughts all seem to converge.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Her sudden departure brought everything to an abrupt halt,\\nas if all the stories left unfinished were frozen in that moment.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"All those promises...making dumplings, celebrating Christmas...have now become dreams with nowhere to rest.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I don’t think Mika truly wanted to leave this world.\\nShe was just so desperate for someone to hear her inner cries,\\nfor someone to hold her and offer her a place to belong.\\nShe lived too clearly in a world too complicated, and she carried that clarity alone,\\nhidden beneath layers of pain that eventually overwhelmed her like a flood.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"“If I had realized sooner and been firmer, would things have turned out differently?”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This question haunts me like a recurring nightmare.\\nBut time moves on without compassion,\\nmoving forward without pause, leaving us only with regret and endless longing.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Standing at Sanchakou, the cold wind brushes against my face.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Before me, the rivers flow endlessly—they merge, part, and course toward the Bohai Sea, never turning back, much like life itself.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika once said,\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"“I hope that one day we can sit on the Tianjin Eye and admire the view together.”\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"I know now that she may never get to see that view.\",Vue.h(_components.br),\"\\n\",\"But her story, her love, and her misunderstood persistence will forever remain in the hearts of those who remember her.\"),Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Love has never really disappears...it’s just that we can no longer speak it to her in person.\"),Vue.h(PhotoScroll,{photos:[\"${path}/photos/photo2.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo3.jpg\",\"${path}/photos/photo4.jpg\"]})),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.h2,null,\"Epilogue\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Mika’s story includes many aspects that I can’t openly share,\\nsuch as details about her family, friends.\\nAnd those close to her advised me to keep certain things private.\\nSo I can only write up to this point.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"One night, in a group chat, I was on a call with Mika.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7, I really want to contribute to the community.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I want to help many people like me survive.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"But my situation and environment make it difficult.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If there’s a chance, maybe in the future, I’ll start a company with the name XiaoYaoNiang(XYN).\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"I think those sisters who run shelters are really amazing.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"If I could one day be like them, able to help others…\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,'\"That would be so wonderful.\"'),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"This is the origin of XYN (Tianjin) Technology.\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(_components.p,null,\"Excerpt from: \",Vue.h(_components.a,{href:\"https://twitter.com/yqua_\"},\"\\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7\"),\"'s Chronicle Issue No.33, 2023\"),\"\\n\",Vue.h(\"ol\",null,Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-1\"},\"\\\"Little bells\\\" originally refers to the notification feature on Twitter that alerts users when someone they follow posts a tweet. Users can choose to enable or disable these notifications for specific accounts. Here, 'Little Bell' refers to \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 enabling notifications for certain mutual followers (mutuals) to ensure she could promptly like their posts. At that time, \\uD835\\uDCE0\\uD835\\uDCFE\\uD835\\uDCEA\\uD835\\uDCF7 maintained such interactions with around 300 mutuals.\",Vue.h(\"a\",{href:\"#footnote-ref-1\"},Vue.h(\"svg\",{viewBox:\"0 0 16 16\",version:\"1.1\",id:\"svg1\",\"xmlns:xlink\":\"http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink\",xmlns:\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",\"xmlns:svg\":\"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg\",style:\"margin-left: 0.5rem; margin-bottom: -2px; width: 1rem; height: 1rem\"},Vue.h(\"defs\",{id:\"defs1\"},Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient3\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop3\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop4\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{id:\"linearGradient1\"},Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:0;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop1\"}),Vue.h(\"stop\",{style:\"stop-color:#ff8373;stop-opacity:1;\",offset:\"0.5\",id:\"stop2\"})),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient1\",id:\"linearGradient2\",x1:\"2.6681123\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"13.331888\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\",gradientTransform:\"translate(2.6678295,-2)\"}),Vue.h(\"linearGradient\",{\"xlink:href\":\"#linearGradient3\",id:\"linearGradient4\",x1:\"3.7075224\",y1:\"8\",x2:\"12.292478\",y2:\"8\",gradientUnits:\"userSpaceOnUse\"})),Vue.h(\"g\",{id:\"layer1\",transform:\"translate(0,2)\"},Vue.h(\"circle\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient2);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path1\",cx:\"10.667834\",cy:\"6\",r:\"4.5818877\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:#ff8373;stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",d:\"M 9.9178343,10.577036 H 1.7971455\",id:\"path2\"}),Vue.h(\"path\",{style:\"fill:#cccccc;fill-opacity:0;stroke:url(#linearGradient4);stroke-width:1.5;stroke-linecap:square;paint-order:stroke fill markers\",id:\"path3\",d:\"M 8.0000001,11.231817 4.7681825,8.0000001 7.9999999,4.7681825 11.231817,7.9999999 Z\",transform:\"translate(-3.6894439,2.577036)\"}))))),Vue.h(\"li\",{id:\"footnote-2\"},'XIAWAFANG Station is an interchange station between Lines 1 and 5 of the Tianjin Rail Transit. 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