2024-11-19 11:09:27 +08:00
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---
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name: Lyna
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info:
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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alias: Yulian, Nyanner
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2024-12-24 22:21:22 +08:00
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location: Dalian, Liaoning
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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---
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## Introduction
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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<!-- (This section is an objective description) -->
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Lyna is a girl who loves hugging her IKEA shark, enjoys rock music, and immerses herself in her own little world.
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She fantasizes about being a rock star and releasing an album that moves all of humanity (just a fantasy, but it's such a lovely one!).
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"I think Radiohead is a great band, but they're definitely not for everyone. There's a certain quality about them that somehow captivated me."
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So, would Bocchi-chan enjoy Radiohead too?
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<!-- Bocchi-chan (Gotou Hitori): Bocchi from *Bocchi the Rock!*. -->
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Maybe it's ADHD? When doing something challenging, her mind always drifts. Is that it?
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> "Ah, this style is so similar to that band's song." "So that's why certain things are the way they are." "Dreaming of some unrealistic goals..."
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Light as a feather, yet just like Kanade, she's reluctant to admit she's an angel.
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<!-- Kanade (Tachibana Kanade): The Angel from *Angel Beats!*. -->
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Lonely like a ripple, yet still searching for the meaning of life.
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It's just that, unlike Misaka's little sister, she hasn't returned to the world of the living.
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<!-- Misaka's little sister: Refers to the Misaka clones from *A Certain Scientific Railgun* and *A Certain Magical Index*. -->
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## Shackles
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<!-- (This section is first-person narration.) -->
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When I was a child, I was too scared to approach girls, wishing I could understand them.
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Then my parents and everyone around me snuffed out that part of me, forcing me to play with boys.
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Ah, walking around like a freak every day... by the time I graduated, I'd probably been assimilated.
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Every year, a part of me dies, and I can't even remember who I was the year before.
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Gender identity? A boy? A girl? I can't recall at all...
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I think I might have been a girl before third grade? But now, no matter how hard I try, I can't remember anymore.
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I always fantasized about being a bride, getting married.
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Did I secretly like a boy in middle school?
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Well, all those details are entirely lost to me now.
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As for hate? I hated them so much. That was all I thought about in middle school.
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When I was shut off, they just stood there watching.
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I was trained, forced to obey, and eventually became like a dog.
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And so I forgot anything about gender, becoming a tortured slave all the way until high school.
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What about stress? I closed myself off in my own world.
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Then I tormented myself, turning into a walking corpse.
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## Dysphoria
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<!-- (This section is first-person narration.) -->
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Adam's apple, broad shoulders? And my voice.
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What a nuisance... Every month, I find myself hating these things multiple times.
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But I had no awareness of the reason for it at the time.
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Later, I fell for someone for the first time and learned what it meant to get close to someone online.
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I was willing to give him everything.
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Maybe it’s because I wasn’t cute enough that I was rejected.
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I cried so many times... I no longer knew what I was thinking...
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The girl in me was killed off again.
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Perhaps I don’t want to be 100% female — I just want a body that’s feminine.
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Although, internally, one could count me as being on the female side too.
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When feeling lonely, I fantasize about being held by someone.
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But relying purely on emotions won’t do anymore; I can only think rationally now.
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So frustrating...
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## Wishes
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<!-- (This section is an objective description.) -->
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Why did the gods take away her wishes?
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She also has dreams in her heart, like forming a band that lasts a lifetime.
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But music is just an escape from pain.
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2024-12-28 13:14:19 +08:00
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> I wish I could have the youth and love of a girl, but it seems like there’s no chance anymore...
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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That’s what she says.
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A tragic life, fleeting youth. Choices like those in a galgame, nothing but the gods' mockery.
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It’s just like what Kessoku Band sings...
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<!-- Kessoku Band: A fictional band from *Bocchi the Rock!*. -->
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2024-12-30 18:28:40 +08:00
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> なにかになりたい なりたい 何者かでいい
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>
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> I want, I want to be something, just be someone
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>
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> 馬鹿なわたしは歌うだけ
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>
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> The idiot that I am, I just sing
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>
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> ぶちまけちゃおうか 星に
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>
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> Why don’t I just lay it all out to the stars
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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But can we ever find that star?
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## Final Chapter
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<!-- (This section begins in first-person narration.) -->
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> This world is fake, just one of my self-pleasing fantasies.
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>
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> What's the meaning of living? Working until death — what kind of happiness can be bought with that?
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>
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> Happiness was all used up by the time I hit my twenties. By thirty, wouldn’t I just be a walking corpse?
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Let’s go to the beach together, watch the seagulls, and listen to music by The Strokes.
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If only we could grab surfboards and go surfing, that’d be great.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo1.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/photo2.jpg',
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]} />
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The piano upstairs sounds so beautiful — usually, I’d find it annoying.
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But with a different mood, it feels different, doesn’t it?
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I got emotionally wrecked while playing *ATRI*, but at least Atri was there.
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<!-- ATRI: Refers to *ATRI -My Dear Moments-*, a visual novel. -->
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<!-- Atri: The main character from the visual novel. -->
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She was the one who stayed with me till my last moments...
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Maybe all this is real, after all?
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Many transgender people live difficult lives, right?
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Everyone fights hard to live; that’s how so many memories are etched into existence.
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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No matter what kind of life it is, it’s the culmination of everything we go through.
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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If that’s the case...
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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> Take up arms if you have them.
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>
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> Just like *Angel Beats*, let’s rally together and resist this unjust world after death.
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>
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> <PhotoScroll photos={["${path}/photos/photo3.png"]} />
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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<!-- (Switching back to objective narration here.) -->
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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In the end, we heard her voice.
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2024-11-19 18:46:16 +08:00
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2024-12-25 19:02:13 +08:00
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Her name is Lyna.
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