Amika
commit
6d124ca542
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id: Dethelly
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profileUrl: ${path}/photos/profile.jpg
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info:
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died: '2024-01-23'
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websites:
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twitter: https://twitter.com/Dethelly
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---
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name: Sugar ~ 100% PURITY
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info:
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alias: Dethelly, 五洲
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location: Yubei, Chongqing
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---
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## Description
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In Fall 2023, Sugar went to Hangzhou, Zhejiang to attend university.
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She was an introverted girl who cared about others' feelings too much such that she wasn't able to express herself when she needed it.
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She was too shy to express her confusion and anxiety.
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Moreover, she hadn't a friend to confide her thought, she could only hide these in heart.
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That made her look a bit intimidated.
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She always prepared a lot ahead of meeting friends in real life.
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She was always worried about leaving a bad impression, so she asked them tons of questions in advance (such as which kinds of gift they would like), and warned them she might exhibit regressive behaviors.
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Her family is conservative.
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Her father worked in China Railways Group and her mother was a teacher.
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She didn't receive enough love from them.
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They once threw away her gender-affirming clothing she hid while she was in high school.
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Therefore, she was certain her parents were too conservative to communicate with.
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## The dissipated haze in Hangzhou
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On 6th January 2024, Sugar met friend A in Hangzhou.
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Just before meeting A, she hid in the restroom and kept checking the mirror.
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She was ashamed to meet A because she didn't do her hair or wear cute clothes.
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Actually, she was still pretty despite that.
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The two girls visited many places of interest in Hangzhou……
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West Lake Culture Square, Wulin Suqare, Wuliu Lane, and Fengshan Gate.
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When parting, She asked A on her thoughts of her plan to "threaten" her parents (to gain acceptance of being trans).
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> *Here is what A remembered:*
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>
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> Sugar: Perhaps what I need to do is to "threaten", since they are too conservative to be communicated with.
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>
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> Sugar: I'm afraid of pain, but I could hurt myself a bit.
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>
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> Sugar: Thereby they might make a compromise eventually, and I might get more freedom in return.
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>
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> Sugar: According to the plan, I will delete you from my friend list after this parting.
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>
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> Sugar: You shouldn't be worried about me. Please forget me as soon as possible.
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When A left for home, she left Sugar half a bag of oranges, and messaged her "Adios." (Goodbye) on QQ.
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<!-- When A got off the train, she left Sugar half a bag of oranges, and messaged her "Adios." (Goodbye) on QQ. -->
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A didn't get any reply.
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That night, Sugar actually deleted her contact.
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The second day, a Twitter user who claimed to be Sugar's high school classmate brought her some random thoughts on behalf of Sugar.
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Then A requested them to look after her.
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Later, Sugar began her winter vacation, and got her diagnosis certificate of gender dysphoria in Shenzhen Kangning Hospital —— This was only known by A after her death.
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## Thick fog over Jialing River (Her departure)
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On January 22nd, 2024, she went back to her hometown, Chongqing, and regained contact with A.
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(According to her mother who worked away from Chongqing, when she just returned home, she seemed happy in Wechat.)
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But the reality is the opposite.
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She contacted A before she began to execute her plan.
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She told A again and again that her purpose is not dying.
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The point is to make her parents to realize the necessity of accepting her being trans by showing she's willing to die.
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But the dosage she was about to take was fatal.
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A and her other online friends couldn't persuade her, so they called for first aid as a last resort.
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Because they didn't know her exact location, the ambulance left after more than half an hour had passed.
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Unfortunately, Sugar was in a critical condition when the ambulance arrived at Second People's Hospital of Yubei District of Chongqing.
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And she passed away in the early morning of the next day due to chemical poisoning.
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## After her departure
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Later, through a variety of ways, Sugar's mother contacted A on the morning of 23rd January.
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After A told her about Sugar's gender dysphoria and the fact of suicide, she was astonished and said:
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> "He(sic. The same below) had never told us about this! Why he abruptly did……"
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>
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> (It seemed that Sugar didn't directly and openly communicate with her parents about this.)
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The loss of her child overwhelmed her.
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She said words like Sugar was too selfish and didn't care about them.
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Then she tried to unlock Sugar's phone.
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A asked her mother to bury Sugar as a daughter, but her mother replied like [this](https://twitter.com/KiraRettosei/status/1749728762261012752?s=19).
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(The link may be potentially triggering.)
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However, her mother's attitude was changing gradually.
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Her parents started to tidy up her belongings.
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Her mother asked A if she wanted to keep Sugar's IKEA Blåhaj Shark, which she loved to hug.
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Her mother said, he was their angel, but unfortunately God made him leave early and he had to leave.
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Her mother had always been grateful to A.
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## The new spring
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It's 12th, February 2024. The third day of Spring Festival.
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At this night, A set off for a trip to Guiyang and Chongqing.
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At Ningbo Lishe International Airport,
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A sat on a seat near the windows, waiting for the launch of the plane.
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In a daze, a phone call from Chongqing came, and she was familiar with the number.
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>（*The words in brackets represent A.*）
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>
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> Girl, how are you now? (I am fine, what happened?)
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>
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> It's nothing, but…… I always worried about that you might……as well. So I'm calling to ask you are okay or not.
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>
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> Girl, if anything happened in the future, please tell your parents and not hold back and say nothing. Your parents always love you.
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>
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> After our generation became parents, we no longer keep the authority and stubbornness of our elders.
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>
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> So do I…… The path I am currently taking in life is not what my parents hoped, but I think it's no problem.
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>
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> We may not fully understand the decisions made by children, but we will support her if she carefully considered.
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>
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> Girl, I am glad you're okay, wish you a happy life.
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Sugar had a very cute face and figure.
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If we change a character of her name to another homophonic one, it would became a girl's name that perfectly matches her gentle and soft temperament.
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But she just departed, with a mentality of "take a gamble".
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Her life was frozen at the age of 19.
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When Sugar just passed away, her mother couldn't accept her decisions. But what did her mother say in the end?
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Anyway, she had passed away.
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> Hope you'll all remember Sugar.
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>
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> Hope you can share important information, such as your address, with trustworthy friends to avoid any unexpected situations.
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>
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> Hope that if you see a help request message, don't just swipe.
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>
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> Hope that if you have the ability to call the police, you can dial decisively. You are a lifesaver, not a murderer. Don't be afraid.
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>
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> Hope you cherishes life, hope still exists; you will only miss the opportunity if you leave too early.
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>
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> Hope you'll all remember Sugar.
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Take care.
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<!-- Contributor：[KiraRettosei](http://github.com/KiraRettosei) -->
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<!-- The contributor of this entry is anonymous on the fore-end -->
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@ -0,0 +1,139 @@
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---
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name: 糖 ~ 100% 纯度
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info:
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alias: Dethelly, 五洲
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location: 重庆渝北
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---
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## 简介
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糖是个重庆的女孩子，2023 年秋来到浙江杭州就读大学。
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她很内向，很在意别人的想法，不敢表达自己的困惑与不安（亦没有倾诉对象），只能默默藏在心底，以至于显得有些畏缩。甚至于在和朋友见面前会做大量功课，私信里编号式地问上十几个问题（希望什么样的礼物，预告自己可能会出现行为上的退行等等）——担心给对方留下不好的印象。
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她的家庭似乎也不好，铁路单位的父亲和教师岗的母亲。她在那里感受不到关爱，高中时期藏好的女装被发现没收等，让她对自己的家长极端保守无法沟通深信不疑。
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## 临安霾散
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2024 年 1 月 6 日，她和杭州的一名朋友 A 见面。
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见面前，她躲在卫生间照镜子不敢出来，觉得自己不配见人。但实际上她很好看，尽管头发还未蓄起，还未穿上喜欢的衣服。
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……
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西湖文化广场、武林广场、五柳巷、凤山门。
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在最后临别时，她问了 A 关于「要挟」的看法，吐露了心声：
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>（以下内容根据友人记忆复述，并非原文）：
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>
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> 「或许我要做的事情就是要挟，既然他们完全无法沟通…
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>
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> 我让自己受一点伤……但是我怕疼……
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>
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> 换取一些空间……他们总归会让步的吧……
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>
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> …………
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>
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> 根据计划，今天结束见面之后我就会删你好友了。
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>
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> 让你担心不好，你早点忘记我吧。」
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下车时，A 把还没吃完的半兜橘子扔给她，在 QQ 私信里留了一句「Adios.」[^1]。却没有得到回复。当晚她确实删掉了好友，推特也屏蔽了 A。
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次日，一个自称其高中同学的推特用户代她捎来了几句碎碎念，A 说让这位同学多关注一下她。
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后来，她放了寒假，去深圳康宁开了证——这是 A 事后才晓得的。
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## 嘉陵雾稠
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1 月 22 日，她回到重庆，并且恢复了与 A 的联系。
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（据当时在外地的母亲事后称，微信聊天里那时她刚回重庆似乎很开心。）
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但实际上并没有。
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她在当晚实施计划前联系了A，她和 A 反复确认表示，本次目的并非自杀，是创造自杀未遂的记录，以此表现对跨性别诉求的刚需，达到令父母让步的目的。
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可她决定服用的剂量超致死量。
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A 和别的推友劝不住，只能退而求其次为她兜底（服药后尽快报 120 ），因为 A 没有报警条件，包括沟通困难，住址信息模糊等等，救护车在半个小时多后才开出。
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糖被送至渝北区第二人民医院时已生命垂危，于当夜（1 月 23 日凌晨）中毒身亡。
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## 身后
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糖的母亲在 23 日早辗转联系到 A。
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在A将糖的性别焦虑情况以及并非他杀等告知对方时，她表现出了闻所未闻的惊讶：
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> 「他(sic.)从来没有跟我们说过这些事！怎么突然就这样子去……」
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>
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> （糖似乎确实完全没有正面沟通过这件事。）
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丧女的冲击太大，她也说出了「这么自私不考虑我们怎么办」之类的话，并想要解锁孩子的手机。
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A 向糖的母亲表示如果可以希望将糖作为女儿下葬，但她是[这样](https://twitter.com/KiraRettosei/status/1749728762261012752?s=19)回复的。（链接可能含有触发要素，请谨慎点击）
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不过，她的态度也在慢慢变化。
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糖的父母开始收拾她的遗物。
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糖的母亲问 A 是否想要她生前爱抱的宜家鲨鲨。
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她说：「他是我们的天使，可惜老天爷让他早走他不得不走。」
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糖的母亲一直很感谢 A。
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## 新春
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2 月 12 日，大年初三。
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这天夜里，A 正启程前往贵阳重庆旅游。
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宁波栎社机场，A 坐在飞机靠舷窗的位置上，等待推出。
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思绪恍惚间一个重庆的电话打来，号码她熟悉。
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> （括号内为A发言。）
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>
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> 孩子，你还好吗？（我没事，怎么了？）
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>
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> 没什么，就是毕竟...就总是担心你们会不会也...所以问问你还好不好。
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>
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> 孩子，以后你如果有什么事情一定要和家长说，不要憋在肚子里。家长都是爱你的。
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>
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> 我们这一代家长，已经不会像长辈们那样威严那样固执了。
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>
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> 哪怕我也是，我现在走的人生道路也不是我爸爸妈妈希望我走的——我觉得没问题。
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>
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> 孩子做的什么决定，我们虽然不能都理解，但是如果她认真考虑了我们会支持的。
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>
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> 孩子，你没事就好，阿姨祝你生活幸福。
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糖有很可爱的脸庞和身材，甚至名字只要改一个同音字就是非常符合她温软气质的女孩名。
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但是她就这么走了，抱着「搏一搏」的心态，把生命定格在 19 岁。
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尽管在糖刚逝世的时候，她的母亲很不能接受；但最后那段话呢？
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可无论如何，斯人已逝。
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> 希望大家记住糖。
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>
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> 希望大家能把自己的住址等重要信息告诉可以信任的人避免不测。
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>
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> 希望大家在看到求助信息时不要只是一划而过。
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>
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> 希望大家如果有拨打电话报警能力时果断拨号，你是救人的不是杀人的，别害怕。
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>
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> 希望大家珍爱生命，相信希望犹在；过早地离开只会错过转机。
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>
|
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> 希望大家记住糖。
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珍重。
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[^1]: 源自西班牙语，意为「一路平安，再见」之意。
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|
||||
<!-- 条目贡献：[KiraRettosei](http://github.com/KiraRettosei) -->
|
||||
<!-- 本条目贡献前端匿名 -->
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|
|
@ -0,0 +1,139 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
name: 糖 ~ 100% 純度
|
||||
info:
|
||||
alias: Dethelly, 五洲
|
||||
location: 重慶渝北
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## 簡介
|
||||
|
||||
糖是個重慶的女孩子，2023 年秋來到浙江杭州就讀大學。
|
||||
|
||||
她很內向，很在意別人的想法，不敢表達自己的困惑與不安（亦沒有人听她傾訴），只能默默藏在心底，以至於顯得有些畏縮。甚至於在和朋友見面前會做大量功課，私信裡編號式地問上十幾個問題（希望什麼樣的禮物，預告自己可能會出現行為上的退行等等）——擔心給對方留下不好的印象。
|
||||
|
||||
她的家庭似乎也不好，鐵路單位的父親和教師崗的母親。她在那裡感受不到關愛，高中時期藏好的女裝被發現沒收等，讓她對自己的家長極端保守無法溝通深信不疑。
|
||||
|
||||
## 臨安霾散
|
||||
|
||||
2024 年 1 月 6 日，她和杭州的一名朋友 A 見面。
|
||||
|
||||
見面前，她躲在洗手間照鏡子不敢出來，覺得自己不配見人。但實際上她很好看，儘管頭髮還未蓄起，還未穿上喜歡的衣服。
|
||||
|
||||
……
|
||||
|
||||
西湖文化廣場、武林廣場、五柳巷、鳳山門。
|
||||
|
||||
在最後臨別時，她問了 A 關於「要脅」的看法，吐露了心聲：
|
||||
|
||||
>（以下內容根據友人記憶複述，並非原文）：
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 「或許我要做的事情就是要脅，既然他們完全無法溝通…
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 我讓自己受一點傷……但是我怕疼……
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 換取一些空間……他們總歸會讓步的吧……
|
||||
>
|
||||
> …………
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 根據計畫，今天結束見面之後我就會刪你好友了。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 讓你擔心不好，你早點忘記我吧。」
|
||||
|
||||
下車時，A 把還沒吃完的半兜橘子扔給她，在 QQ 私信裡留了一句「Adios.」[^1]。卻沒有得到回復。當晚她確實刪掉了好友，推特也 Block 了 A。
|
||||
|
||||
次日，一個自稱其高中同學的推特用戶代她捎來了幾句碎碎念，A 說讓這位同學多關注一下她。
|
||||
|
||||
後來，她放了寒假，去深圳康寧開了證——這是 A 事後才曉得的。
|
||||
|
||||
## 嘉陵霧稠
|
||||
|
||||
1 月 22 日，她回到重慶，並且恢復了與 A 的聯繫。
|
||||
|
||||
（據當時在外地的母親事後稱，微信聊天裡那時她剛回重慶似乎很開心。）
|
||||
|
||||
但實際上並沒有。
|
||||
|
||||
她在當晚實施計畫前聯繫了A，她和 A 反復確認表示，本次目的並非自殺，是創造自殺未遂的記錄，以此表現對跨性別訴求的剛需，達到令父母讓步的目的。
|
||||
|
||||
可她決定服用的劑量超致死量。
|
||||
|
||||
A 和別的推友勸不住，只能退而求其次為她兜底（服藥後儘快報 120），因為 A 沒有報警條件，包括溝通困難，住址資訊模糊等等，救護車在半個小時多後才開出。
|
||||
|
||||
糖被送至渝北區第二人民醫院時已生命垂危，於當夜（1 月 23 日淩晨）中毒身亡。
|
||||
|
||||
## 身後
|
||||
|
||||
糖的母親在 23 日早輾轉聯繫到 A。
|
||||
|
||||
在 A 將糖的性別焦慮情況以及並非他殺等告知對方時，她表現出了聞所未聞的驚訝：
|
||||
|
||||
> 「他(sic.)從來沒有跟我們說過這些事！怎麼突然就這樣子去……」
|
||||
>
|
||||
> （糖似乎確實完全沒有正面溝通過這件事。）
|
||||
|
||||
喪女的衝擊太大，她也說出了「這麼自私不考慮我們怎麼辦」之類的話，並想要解鎖孩子的手機。
|
||||
|
||||
A 向糖的母親表示如果可以希望將糖作為女兒下葬，但她是[這樣](https://twitter.com/KiraRettosei/status/1749728762261012752?s=19)回復的。（連結可能含有觸發要素，請謹慎點擊）
|
||||
|
||||
不過，她的態度也在慢慢變化。
|
||||
|
||||
糖的父母開始收拾她的遺物。
|
||||
|
||||
糖的母親問 A 是否想要她生前愛抱的宜家鯊鯊。
|
||||
|
||||
她說：「他是我們的天使，可惜老天爺讓他早走他不得不走。」
|
||||
|
||||
糖的母親一直很感謝 A。
|
||||
|
||||
## 新春
|
||||
|
||||
2 月 12 日，大年初三。
|
||||
|
||||
這天夜裡，A 正啟程前往貴陽重慶旅遊。
|
||||
|
||||
寧波櫟社機場，A 坐在飛機靠舷窗的位置上，等待推出。
|
||||
|
||||
思緒恍惚間一個重慶的電話打來，號碼她熟悉。
|
||||
|
||||
> （括弧內為A發言。）
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 孩子，你還好嗎？（我沒事，怎麼了？）
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 沒什麼，就是畢竟...就總是擔心你們會不會也...所以問問你還好不好。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 孩子，以後你如果有什麼事情一定要和家長說，不要憋在肚子裡。家長都是愛你的。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 我們這一代家長，已經不會像長輩們那樣威嚴那樣固執了。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 哪怕我也是，我現在走的人生道路也不是我爸爸媽媽希望我走的——我覺得沒問題。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 孩子做的什麼決定，我們雖然不能都理解，但是如果她認真考慮了我們會支持的。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 孩子，你沒事就好，阿姨祝你生活幸福。
|
||||
|
||||
糖有很可愛的臉龐和身材，甚至名字只要改一個同音字就是非常符合她溫軟氣質的女孩名。
|
||||
|
||||
但是她就這麼走了，抱著「搏一搏」的心態，把生命定格在 19 歲。
|
||||
|
||||
儘管在糖剛逝世的時候，她的母親很不能接受；但最後那段話呢？
|
||||
|
||||
可無論如何，斯人已逝。
|
||||
|
||||
> 希望大家記住糖。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 希望大家能把自己的住址等重要資訊告訴可以信任的人避免不測。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 希望大家在看到求助資訊時不要只是一劃而過。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 希望大家如果有撥打電話報警能力時果斷撥號，你是救人的不是殺人的，別害怕。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 希望大家珍愛生命，相信希望猶在；過早地離開只會錯過轉機。
|
||||
>
|
||||
> 希望大家記住糖。
|
||||
|
||||
珍重。
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: 源自西班牙語，意為「一路平安，再見」之意。
|
||||
|
||||
<!-- 條目貢獻：[KiraRettosei](http://github.com/KiraRettosei) -->
|
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<!-- 本條目貢獻于前端匿名 -->
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Reference in New Issue