mirror of
https://github.com/one-among-us/data.git
synced 2024-11-10 13:24:50 +08:00
125 lines
4.1 KiB
Markdown
125 lines
4.1 KiB
Markdown
---
|
|
name: Jennifer
|
|
info:
|
|
alias: Jennife, Jennifer
|
|
location: Hebei, China
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
> I am in so much pain, indeed.
|
|
>
|
|
> I also know that many transgender friends on Twitter are in pain as well.
|
|
>
|
|
> But we all have to strive to live.
|
|
>
|
|
> Even if no one around me supports me, I know that you are there across the internet.
|
|
>
|
|
> So I am not alone.
|
|
|
|
## Experience
|
|
|
|
Jennifer was a trans girl longing for happiness.
|
|
|
|
Her avatar was Vtuber Yukihana Lamy,
|
|
and she enjoyed playing rhythm game Project Sekai.
|
|
|
|
When she was 13 years old,
|
|
she told her parents for the first time, "**I want to be a girl.**"
|
|
However, her parents dismissed it,
|
|
thinking that she was influenced by her classmates,
|
|
and strongly denied her thought with harsh words.
|
|
|
|
At that time, Jennifer didn't know what "transgender" meant,
|
|
but she understood the negative connotation of her parents' harsh words.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, she bravely expressed her wish to them:
|
|
|
|
> "I just want to be a normal girl, to study and live like other girls..."
|
|
|
|
In her innocence,
|
|
she thought they would understand,
|
|
but it was only the beginning of her nightmare.
|
|
|
|
After starting junior high school,
|
|
she tried to make her parents understand her better.
|
|
So she start to find information about "transgender" online.
|
|
She even read academic papers, attempting to communicate with her parents.
|
|
|
|
Jennifer said:
|
|
|
|
> "Transgender identity is something I was born with... It's just that a girl's soul is in the wrong body. I don't even ask for SRS. But can you just let me wear girls' clothes, and grow my hair long? I know I'm not pretty, but is it a crime to want to wear girls' clothes?"
|
|
|
|
But all her efforts were in vain,
|
|
and what she received in return was more scolding.
|
|
|
|
Later, in a state of extreme mental distress,
|
|
she got into a vocational high school.
|
|
However, after one year,
|
|
her parents forced her to take a gap,
|
|
claiming that "vocational schools are full of bad kids."
|
|
|
|
Since then, she had been living under her parents' constant surveillance,
|
|
with no privacy and no sense of security.
|
|
|
|
Nearly four years of mental control caused her to develop several mental illnesses.
|
|
Online psychometric scales showed that she was severely depressed, anxious, and mentally exhausted, but she couldn't go to a regular hospital for treatment.
|
|
|
|
In June 2023, Jennifer turned 18.
|
|
She was eager to find a job and leave home.
|
|
|
|
Due to her lack of education,
|
|
she could only work at a local beverage shop,
|
|
earning just enough to make ends meet.
|
|
|
|
But she knew it would be a long time to escape her original family.
|
|
|
|
She had to present herself as male for job interviews and work,
|
|
and everyone referred to her with the wrong pronouns,
|
|
which caused her great distress.
|
|
|
|
> "I really can't live with a mask on... Is it so hard to be myself..."
|
|
|
|
Despite this, she felt that even working as a server every day was better than staying in the suffocating environment at home.
|
|
|
|
She seemed to see a glimmer of hope.
|
|
During that time, she even thought that if she could just endure and save enough money,
|
|
she could live on her own and free herself from her family.
|
|
|
|
Unfortunately, her improved mental state didn't last long.
|
|
Her depression and anxiety often caused uncontrollable episodes,
|
|
and after working for just over a month,
|
|
she had to leave her job and return home.
|
|
|
|
After returning home,
|
|
the harsh words flooded her ears once again.
|
|
|
|
But by then,
|
|
her heart had grown numb.
|
|
|
|
## Departure
|
|
|
|
Jennifer once said, "Jennifer is a strong girl nya~ Jennifer won't block anyone."
|
|
|
|
But there was one time, and the last time,
|
|
she made an exception:
|
|
|
|
"I blocked the account of Han Lianyi. I think she's a great person, but I don't want her to save me. I'm sorry, Sister Han, I'm so sorry..."
|
|
|
|
As the New Year approached,
|
|
fireworks and firecrackers were alight with spark,
|
|
carrying people's best wishes.
|
|
|
|
The warm glow of lights filled thousands of homes.
|
|
|
|
But Jennifer left this world in the biting cold wind,
|
|
|
|
Her story remained in the New Year's Eve.
|
|
|
|
Brief illusions brought her happiness and kept her from the cold...
|
|
|
|
But until the end of her story,
|
|
she never got to take estrogen,
|
|
wear a beautiful dress,
|
|
or be called "Miss."
|
|
|
|
Jennifer, may you no longer suffer and find the happiness in another world.
|