5.5 KiB
| name | info | ||||
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| Zheermao September |
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"Thank you for talking with me so much. If we meet in heaven, I'll treat you to some beverages."
-"It would be better if we could drink it together in this world. In addition...what's your favorite flavor?""I can't wait that long. I'm so sorry..."
Description
Zheermao was a trans girl who was extremely lacking in love and needed care.
Her MBTI personality was INFJ-A/INFJ-T.
She enjoyed songs from Touhou Project.
She played various games, such as Plague Inc., Overwatch, and Needy Streamer Overload.
She also loved galgames. While playing Mystery Lover 2, she thought about many of her own experiences...
Zheermao was quite knowledgeable about electronics. She shared her insights on related topics on Zhihu.
Occasionally, she would visit the local library in Xi'an to read her favorite books.
Departure
As mentioned in her description, Zheermao was a girl extremely deprived of love. She always relied on friends around her and often needed their companionship.
Arts once sent Zheermao a caring letter. They had a good relationship, and Zheermao kept Arts's letter all along.
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English translation of the preceding letter:
I am ArtsEpiphany, an admin from the online forum Transland. You can call me Arts. I saw your QQ instant messaging number in your forum profile, but you seem to have disabled initiating conversations using QQ number. Therefore I chose to contact you in this way, I'm sorry!
Actually, Arts is also a cat-like person. How can a cat-like person be unforgivable? Cat-like people are the cutest beings in the world. Those who are truly guilty won't feel guilty. They won't think of ending themselves. They'll keep harming more and more people, making them suffer more and more. They only care about how much benefit they can get for themselves, clinging to life but escaping from death. When they are lucky, they think of how to obtain more; when they are unlucky, they think of how to lose less. Although I cannot comprehend what you've been through, I believe you're a good girl at heart.
Arts understands that it's not easy to live without the support of a family. You may be lonely, because you have no one to turn to when in pain; you may be helpless, because no one extends their hand when in trouble; you may be puzzled, because you don't know what to live for.
Actually, Arts doesn't really know how to console you. Why do some people live in happiness but others live in suffering, without a hint of hope? Arts doesn't understand. Arts hates this unfair world as well. Because of this, Arts won't flatly tell you to keep living. What Arts wants to tell you is this:
You are not alone. For example, as a trans person, there are people everywhere in the world who have the same hopes and dreams as you, trying to build a brighter future for themselves. For example, there are people who have cut ties with their parents. For example, there are people who have issues with self-harm.
Therefore, please believe that there are people who would care, understand, and accompany you. There are also people who would wish for your happiness, whether you know them or not, like me, Arts.
If you like, I'd like to hug you.
Good night, ArtsEpiphany
Zheermao attempted to leave this world several times but survived with difficulty through rescues.
However, in the early spring of 2024, following the death of a friend, she made up her mind again to leave.
A few days before her departure, she sent an email to One Among Us. Upon seeing it, one member sent her a reply immediately:
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English translation of the preceding email conversation:
Zheermao
Please prepare a little. It's Zheermao. I tried to live, but... I'm sorry. Thank you. If I succeed, please put up my entry. Thank you.
Good evening,
I just refreshed my inbox after sending an email to my friend. I'm sorry. I'd like to hug you. But please believe me, there are sparks of brightness in the endless nights as well. {/* 可以避开黑暗的锋芒，到那些有光的地方躲一躲。 这句不知道如何翻译 */} All from One Among Us will always be with you. If you need help, please contact us or someone you trust. Please do not worry, we'll try to write down what we remember. But keep living is the best way to rebel against the hatred in the world. The dynamic stories about you or me, the stories that are living, are much more alive than finished stories. That's what we can never write down. Love you. Do not give up easily. It must still be cold in the north. I'd hug you again. Spring is coming. Ice will melt, no matter how hard it is.
Later, that member contacted her on Telegram and tried to comfort her, then talked with her for a long time about transgender experiences, love and being loved, and the meaning of living, trying to keep her for a little longer.
Despite this, she insisted on her decision... and ultimately chose to leave.
After her departure, Han Lianyi wrote an epitaph for her.
Perhaps Zheermao's departure was not an unexpected ending.
But now, everything can only be turned into a long sigh...
Contributor for this entry: Echo of One Among Us