234 lines
7.8 KiB
Markdown
234 lines
7.8 KiB
Markdown
---
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name: Mio
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info:
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alias: Mio
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location: Guangdong, Foshan
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---
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> “Does my name mean 澪, you ask? Not really. Actually, ‘Mio’ is also something I came up with on a whim. I'm not good at Japanese, sorry.”
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo1.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/photo2.jpg',
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]} />
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Mio is from Guangdong, Foshan.
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Her father is a high school teacher; her mother handles everything at home.
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She has an older sister who is also trans.
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She was accepted to one of the top universities in China because of her brilliance and dexterousness.
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> My IQ is 130, my IQ is 130!
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> ——Mio when she was small (in primary school)
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In life, she liked to play *Minecraft* and *Kerbal Space Program*.
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After all these years, she became a gentle big sister to many people.
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She suffered from major depression throughout the last year of her life.
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Although she was pushed to suicide several times, she still tried to live as happily as she could.
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She made many friends and built up many relationships in that year alone:
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- She came out to her best friend in primary school.
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- She became close friends with another trans girl.
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- She started to manage the QQ group *Harunome Hanbai*.
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## From best "boy" friends to best girl friends with her friend whom she met in primary school
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In April 2022, [Bei Yan Yun Yi](https://github.com/BeiyanYunyi) saw a social media post from Mio.
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It was also at that time that Bei Yan Yun Yi figured out her gender identity.
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Bei Yan Yun Yi remembered that Mio had researched SRS during primary school.
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Therefore, when she reconnected with Mio, she came out to her.
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Just like that, best "boy" friends became best girl friends.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo6.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/photo7.jpg',
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]} />
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Translation:
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> Mio: (Sticker)
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>
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> Mio: Do you have a moment right now?
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>
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> Me (Translator’s note: The sender is Bei Yan Yun Yi, her friend whom she met in primary school): Sure.
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>
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> Me: So I was thinking, are you trans?
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>
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> Mio: How did you know?
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>
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> Mio: Hey~
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>
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> Me: Because I remembered that you had already researched SRS in primary school.
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>
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> Mio: Is it because you saw my Tieba (Translator's note: a popular social media platform) post?
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>
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> Me: No, I haven’t checked Tieba in a while. I did see your WeChat (Translator's note: another popular social media platform) post, though.
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>
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> Me: Have you considered what you're experiencing to be Gender Dysphoria?
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>
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> Mio: Probably…
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>
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> Me: I think we need to meet. How about May 1st? (Translator's note: a holiday)
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>
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> Me: (photo, a WeChat post)
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>
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> > (Translation of the post):
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> >
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> > Being able to maintain a state between male and female is a miracle――height, body shape, behaviour, skin, and voice.
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> > A state like this allows me to switch gender presentations relatively easily without fear of being clocked.
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> > Being in a state like this delayed the worsening of my Gender Dysphoria.
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> >
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> > But I can't delay it forever.
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> > I don't identify with most of what’s commonly considered “musculine qualities”. (Means I don’t want to be a man.) I don’t want to be the object of “male gaze”, too. (That is disgusting.)
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> > I only have one choice left:
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> > I don’t want to be recognized as a man, nor be seen as the object of “male gaze”.
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> > In other words, I want to be seen as an independent, intelligent, gentle but determined woman (or someone who’s not constrained by gender entirely).
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> > However, it's really hard to do something like this.
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> > I will have to endure the pain of Gender Dysphoria by not presenting as myself in the foreseeable future.
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> >
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> > This is my coming out post. Rest assured. I will still be the "me" who you are already familiar with.
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> > And one more note: I still won’t be interested in men.
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>
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> Me: This Wechat post is my coming out post.
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> Me: We are sisters, now.
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>
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## Built up another friendship
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During one month, Mio and her close friend spent time together six times.
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The backpacks they bought together recorded their friendship silently:
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo5.jpg'
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]} />
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Her friend didn’t expect the goodbye at the airport to become the last time she could ever see her:
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo4.jpg'
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]} />
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---
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In China mainland, graduation certificates are void after a gender marker change;
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SRS is required to change the gender marker.
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Therefore, only people who are “lucky” enough to afford and go through SRS before graduation can gain their graduation certificates.
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Mio was trying to make that money in the hope that she could gain enough money for SRS before graduation.
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Unfortunately, her depression left her unable to learn programming so she couldn’t make money that way.
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Therefore, she resorted to being a driver instead.
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However, she was demanded over a thousand (more than she had earned) and got mocked for being trans after an accident in which no one was hurt.
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And therefore:
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Despite her best efforts, she was overpowered by another episode of depression and suicidal thoughts on 2023 February 24th, two days after the accident.
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This time, she didn’t tell anyone about her plan and only set up a scheduled Tweet at noon the next day.
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When her mother found her, it was already too late.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/twitter1.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/twitter2.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/twitter3.jpg',
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]} />
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Translation of the above photos:
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> @biliacat 2023 Feb 25th:
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>
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> Mio has already gone according to her mother.
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>
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> I have no words to express my sadness or shock.
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>
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> Rest in peace, Mio.
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>
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> > Mio 2023 Feb 25th (Translator’s note: The time discrepancy is because she scheduled this Tweet.):
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> >
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> > Goodbye. . .everyone.
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> >
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> > This sleep will be a long one…
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>
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> ---
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>
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> @biliacat 2023 Feb 25th:
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>
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> Mio, you already promised me you aren't going to do something like this…
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>
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> Your mother told me:
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> "When I came into her room this morning, I saw--
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> Mio had put on makeup and pretty clothes.
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> But her eyes are closed, forever."
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>
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> My tears fell. I couldn't keep them in anymore.
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>
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> Mio, I hope you get to be a normal girl in your next life.
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>
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> Farewell, Mio.
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>
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> ---
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>
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> @biliacat 2023 Feb 26th
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>
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> Mio was a student at one of the best universities in China.
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> She was brilliant and dexterous.
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>
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> Her death seems to be an individual incident, but it's more complicated than that.
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>
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> She suffered from depression and was hospitalized once.
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> She was managing it with medications, but she was unable to fully control it.
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> She sometimes harms herself and talks about her suicidal thoughts.
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>
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> The direct reason behind her suicide is what happened two days ago.
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> Her family members didn't help her in time.
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> In the end, she took her life during another episode of depression.
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>
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> (1/2)
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>
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> ---
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>
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> @biliacat 2023 Feb 26th
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>
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> Therefore, the real reasons behind her suicide are problems in society and her own family:
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>
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> Most people don’t understand depression and Gender Dysphoria.
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>
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> Most people disapprove of trans people and gender-affirming treatments.
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>
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> A few people persuade others into suicide for fun.
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>
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> These factors caused tragedy after tragedy.
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> Therefore, I must say that it was already mostly determined at the start.
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>
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> Let's wish her rest in peace.
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>
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> (2/2)
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---
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These are the last text messages she sent:
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo3.jpg'
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]} />
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Translation:
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> . . .
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>
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> Me (Translator’s note: The sender is Bei Yan Yun Yi, her friend whom she met in primary school.): What is happening?
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>
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> Mio: Just another episode of depression.
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>
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> Mio: ~~I almost wanted to die.~~
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>
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> Mio: Actually, I was thinking about what it would be like after death just after having dinner.
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>
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> Me: (fainting face emoji)
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>
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> Mio: I’m sorry.
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>
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> Mio: I had already planned out everything:
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>
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> Mio: Quit my QQ groups; delete my contacts; schedule a Tweet…
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May you rest in peace, Mio.
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