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138 lines
5.5 KiB
Markdown
138 lines
5.5 KiB
Markdown
---
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name: Zheermao September
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info:
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alias: Zheermao
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location: Xi'an, Shaanxi
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---
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> "Thank you for talking with me so much.
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> If we meet in heaven, I'll treat you to some beverages."
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>
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> `-` "It would be better if we could drink it together in this world.
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> In addition...what's your favorite flavor?"
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>
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> "I can't wait that long. I'm so sorry..."
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## Description
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Zheermao was a trans girl who was extremely lacking in love and needed care.
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Her MBTI personality was INFJ-A/INFJ-T.
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She enjoyed songs from *Touhou Project*.
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She played various games, such as *Plague Inc.*, *Overwatch*, and *Needy Streamer Overload*.
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She also loved galgames.
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While playing *Mystery Lover 2*, she thought about many of her own experiences...
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Zheermao was quite knowledgeable about electronics.
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She shared her insights on related topics on Zhihu.
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Occasionally, she would visit the local library in Xi'an to read her favorite books.
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## Departure
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As mentioned in her description,
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Zheermao was a girl extremely deprived of love.
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She always relied on friends around her and often needed their companionship.
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[Arts](https://one-among.us/profile/ArtsEpiphany) once sent Zheermao a caring letter.
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They had a good relationship, and Zheermao kept Arts's letter all along.
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo1.jpg',
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'${path}/photos/photo2.jpg',
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]} />
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English translation of the preceding letter:
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> I am ArtsEpiphany, an admin from the online forum Transland.
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> You can call me Arts.
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> I saw your QQ instant messaging number in your forum profile, but you seem to have disabled initiating conversations using QQ number.
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> Therefore I chose to contact you in this way, I'm sorry!
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>
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> Actually, Arts is also a cat-like person.
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> How can a cat-like person be unforgivable?
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> Cat-like people are the cutest beings in the world.
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> Those who are truly guilty won't feel guilty.
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> They won't think of ending themselves.
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> They'll keep harming more and more people, making them suffer more and more.
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> They only care about how much benefit they can get for themselves, clinging to life but escaping from death.
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> When they are lucky, they think of how to obtain more; when they are unlucky, they think of how to lose less.
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> Although I cannot comprehend what you've been through, I believe you're a good girl at heart.
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>
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> Arts understands that it's not easy to live without the support of a family.
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> You may be lonely, because you have no one to turn to when in pain; you may be helpless, because no one extends their hand when in trouble; you may be puzzled, because you don't know what to live for.
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>
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> Actually, Arts doesn't really know how to console you.
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> Why do some people live in happiness but others live in suffering, without a hint of hope?
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> Arts doesn't understand.
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> Arts hates this unfair world as well.
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> Because of this, Arts won't flatly tell you to keep living.
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> What Arts wants to tell you is this:
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> > You are not alone.
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> For example, as a trans person, there are people everywhere in the world who have the same hopes and dreams as you, trying to build a brighter future for themselves.
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> For example, there are people who have cut ties with their parents.
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> For example, there are people who have issues with self-harm.
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>
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> Therefore, please believe that there are people who would care, understand, and accompany you.
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> There are also people who would wish for your happiness, whether you know them or not, like me, Arts.
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>
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> If you like, I'd like to hug you.
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>
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> Good night,
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> ArtsEpiphany
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Zheermao attempted to leave this world several times but survived with difficulty through rescues.
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However, in the early spring of 2024,
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following the death of a friend, she made up her mind again to leave.
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A few days before her departure,
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she sent an email to One Among Us.
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Upon seeing it, one member sent her a reply immediately:
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<PhotoScroll photos={[
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'${path}/photos/photo3.png',
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]} />
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English translation of the preceding email conversation:
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> - Zheermao
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> > Please prepare a little.
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> > It's Zheermao.
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> > I tried to live, but...
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> > I'm sorry. Thank you.
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> > If I succeed, please put up my entry.
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> > Thank you.
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>
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> - ...@oneamongus.ca
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> > Good evening,
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> >
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> > I just refreshed my inbox after sending an email to my friend.
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> > I'm sorry. I'd like to hug you.
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> > But please believe me, there are sparks of brightness in the endless nights as well.
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> > {/* 可以避开黑暗的锋芒,到那些有光的地方躲一躲。 这句不知道如何翻译 */}
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> > All from One Among Us will always be with you.
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> > If you need help, please contact us or someone you trust.
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> > Please do not worry, we'll try to write down what we remember.
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> > But keep living is the best way to rebel against the hatred in the world.
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> > The dynamic stories about you or me, the stories that are living, are much more alive than finished stories.
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> > That's what we can never write down.
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> > Love you. Do not give up easily.
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> > It must still be cold in the north. I'd hug you again.
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> > Spring is coming. Ice will melt, no matter how hard it is.
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Later, that member contacted her on Telegram and tried to comfort her, then talked with her for a long time about transgender experiences, love and being loved, and the meaning of living, trying to keep her for a little longer.
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Despite this, she insisted on her decision... and ultimately chose to leave.
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After her departure, Han Lianyi wrote an [epitaph](https://t.me/Lianyi520/565) for her.
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Perhaps Zheermao's departure was not an unexpected ending.
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But now, everything can only be turned into a long sigh...
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Contributor for this entry: Echo of One Among Us
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