She introduced herself in her profile: Perhaps Yumao doesn't like taking part in group activities. I love white and red, also that kind of rainbow in Glitch. And I have a sweet tooth, I will feel happy for a long time while holding a packet of white rabbit creamy candies. I love cats, and adopt a cat called Ayaka.
She loved time with silent and ease. For example, she put on the headphones and drank hot coffee in café, she watched out of the window and observed people came and left. This would make her relaxed. Sometimes, she had some special thoughts. She wished to shooting stars at times, she said: "It's not because I believe that, but in that it's free. And there's no evidence shows it doesn't work."
Yumao liked to watch stars when she didn't sleep yet at night. After she returned to China, due to bad weather and few time, she couldn't watch stars as previous time. So [she made a special trip to Dishui Lake once and watched stars](https://web.archive.org/web/20210517104313/https://oao.moe/archives/834/).
She saved many thoughts in her [private blog](https://web.archive.org/web/20210420170241/https://oao.moe/archives/), and these blog posts included many areas: computer science, military and politics. She was also a girl who loved literature, and she wrote down much beautiful prose and poetry. Of course, she recorded daily life in her blog, and we can still see her story, her experience, and her train of thoughts now.
In that period, there was not so much censorship about transgender topic in Zhihu. So Yumao always @ Neko in relevant topics, then showed their affection in public.
> "Even that things were dark and painful, which had been hidden, you still observed and felt them. Maybe you understanded more then myself. How wonderful... You also found my scattered identity, then lifted me out of abyss. That was the first time I was been touched by others."
However, they were forced to separate. After that, Neko was brought back to Yunnan by family, and was sent to correctional school. Then, it was reported that Neko had commited suicide and died. Chinese media *Beijing News* reported this in video. Yumao was extremely grieved after hearing the news. She continuously sent messages about missing Neko in their Telegram channal. She quoted *Cassiopeia(カシオペヤ)* , which was a song they used to listen together, to express her grief.
Although she also found that the suicide of Neko was complicated and confusing according to some routes. But there was no more news about Neko indeed. She really hoped Neko was still alived:
She always missed Neko, and recalled the days with her. Yumao often wrote down some caring words in her blog, such as prompted Neko to manage her hair, or told Neko to add or subtract clothes.
In this period, Yumao tried to remember previous time and those things which is moving, happy and blissful. But her heart was took up by sadness, and her memory gradually worsen. She said that she forgot many things.
In her blog post *[Separation and Reunion](https://web.archive.org/web/20210517104118/https://oao.moe/archives/948/)* published in march, she left many words to her friends, and thanked to their company all along.
In Zhihu question [What are your thoughts about ZhiHu user @yu-zhang-31-35 ?](https://www.zhihu.com/question/284818437), many friends wrote their memories of yumao, and expressed their sandness and regret of the death of her. They also felt regrettable for Neko's death due to close relationship between Neko and Yumao.
In fact, Neko didn't pass away. Before the news of Neko's death, in her email in 19th March, they still encouraged each other with the words "Must stay alive".
Neko and Yumao were forced to seprate in Shanghai. After that, Neko was brought to Kunming, Yunnan, and then hospitalized at a mental health centre for treatment.
During the time, Neko always hoped to meet with Yumao. She had dinner with her parents and got a interim leave from the hosptial, then she tried to contact Yumao in this time gap. After their contact, she persuaded the doctor on duty to issue discharge certificate for her. This action irritated her family. Shortly afterward, her family drived her to Kunming Anning Haohaizi School (hereinafter referred to as "*Haohaizi") in the name of taking her to Changshui Airport. After that, Neko was locked in the Room 308, which can be seen as a black room.
Days after she came out of the Room 308, owing to her command of computer was excellent and their trust in her, the propaganda department of Haohaizi found her and asked her to fix network system. Neko accepted and fixed the system quickly, then sent a help email to Yumao.
After that, the outside world started to lash out her parents. The investigative journalist of *Beijing News* also interviewed the staff of Haohaizi to ask the whereabouts of Neko.
However, the parents made a shock decision. They said that they had already brought her out of the school, then cancelled the census register of Neko. In the interview of *Beijing News* , they spoke in a tearful voice and claimed that Neko had commited suicide in the early hours of 24th March.
But nevertheless, Neko still implemented the words "Must stay alive". She never gave up and tried to calm herself. She kept a diary and develpoed her hobbies and interests at that time. She also found some ways which could resolve her difficulties to take her mind off.
During the latter time in Haohaizi, those around her helped her a lot, her friends accompanied her, and some people delivered things from the outside. Some friendly drillmasters would take her out to play, or bought things to her. This might make her happier.
