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| Huacha |
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Description
Huacha means flower-scented tea. Huacha was a lovely and determined trans girl who loved this world.
She was an OIer and once participated in the National Olympiad in Informatics(NOI).
She adored long hair, so she opted for hair extensions.
She loved writing and reading, and she often delved into the works of Lu Xun. She showcased her fluency in poetry and her ability to critique the world by writing essays in a style reminiscent of Lu Xun.
Realizing her true gender identity at an early age, she struggled with severe anxiety, which she endured silently for a long time. She always felt that she was trapped in a nightmare of not being recognized as a girl, and she hoped to wake up from it every day. Later, she chose the path of self-discovery and embraced her identity as a girl.
Huacha was a gentle girl, akin to her friend Xuewulihuameng. She offered helpful advice in Zhihu Question How can I help my MtF friend?. After giving some suggestions, she wrote at last:
“If you don’t understand how to give advice when she experiences an emotional breakdown, you can simply accompany her at her side silently (you can even hug her because when I was in an emotional breakdown, I hoped someone would hug me)...spend more time with her...”
The Blood Mary Observer
The Blood Mary Observer was a series of articles on Zhihu authored by Hucha.
Tragically, Huacha took her life shortly after she penned these articles. So, there were only three articles in The Blood Mary Observer. But the profound content was still worth reading.
The first article was In Memory of Ms.MtF (Mr.Ftm)1.
She wrote the article around May to June 2018. At that time, Zhihu, which was a platform initially claimed to be LGBT friendly, started to conduct strict censorship on transgender-related topics. Zhihu blocked many transgender users and deleted many records about the transgender community at that time.
Huacha wrote down the article to accuse Zhihu and express her indignation towards the persecution of Transgender community. She appealed to people that everyone should respect the right of transgender individuals to express their inner thoughts - whether they were MTF FTM or individuals of any other gender.
The article was concise and straightforward, and its words didn’t pull any punches. Just as the comment said:
“This article is quite in the style of Lu Xun. #LOL#"
The third article was Yazyuu Senpai Zhihu Setu. Its original point was the same as the first article.
The article humorously expressed her dissatisfaction with the strict censorship of transgender-related topics by Zhihu, which initially claimed to be LGBT-friendly.
The second article was Invisible Poison. The article mainly focused on the persecution experienced by transgender individuals at the hands of their original families. She pointed out that some parents were essentially murderers, and the so-called “love” ultimately became the “poison” that killed children.
Many transgender individuals have been exposed to an invisible poison called “love” and left the world at last. The parents deprived their fundamental rights as human beings in the name of “love”.
Legally, due to parents having the special status of “guardian”, the difficulty for transgender individuals to obtain assistance has greatly increased.
Excerpted from Invisible Poison
Today, many transgender individuals choose to leave this world due to this kind of “Invisible Poison”. This article still has its profound practical significance.
Before the article was published, one of her transgender friends (probably Xueli) took her life due to domestic pressure and violence. Another reason for writing this article was to mourn her, as well as countless transgender friends who passed away owing to the invisible poison.
Her Departure
On April 2nd, 2018, Xueli passed away by suicide.
From the first “seven days” to the seventh “seven days” 2 of Xueli’s death, she always missed Xueli, the lovely, gentle girl who quietly left alone.
May the world treat you gently.
It’s suddenly raining heavily in Chongqing...
Is this your way of calling me...?
During the “seven days”, Huacha’s mental health became worse and worse. She said that she was not sure about whether she could live to the end of the seventh “seven days” of Xueli’s death.
On the last day of the fourth “seven days”, she almost couldn’t control the thought of suicide on the Huanghuayuan Jialingjiang Bridge, which was a land of fate —— the place of death of Xueli and several other MtFs in Chongqing.
At the end of June, she attempted to take her own life again and was admitted to ICU. After her physical condition improved, she wrote down this little poem:
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In fact, she still hoped to live. Until days before she departed, she was still finding the hope to live, and she asked Siri about methods to prevent suicide.
But the unfortunate thing still happened at last. On the evening of July 10th, she walked up to the Huanghuayuan Jialingjiang Bridge again. The dreamlike lighting seemed to immerse her in a dream... In the same place, on a similar night, she took her own life as Xueli did.
The rescue in the late night failed to save her life. In the early morning of the next day, the girl chasing the Milky Way finally left the world.
Farewell, Huacha. I hope you and Xueli can be together well in heaven.
The only thing we can do is live with hope...
NekoyaFam, 2018-07-11, on Zhihu
Contributors for this entry: One-Among-Us, Kristall Wang
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The title format imitates In Memory of Ms.Liu Hezhen, which was a famous work of Lu Xun, published on April 12th, 1926. ↩︎
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Funeral customs in East Asia. In tradition, the memorial ceremony is held every seven days after a person’s death, with one session lasting seven days and a maximum of seven sessions. It will take 49 days to complete. ↩︎