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| Yumao |
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"I will change into gentle breeze and rain, then surround you all along."
By Yumao
"It feels like that you are hiding in crystal alone, all I can see is your shattered figure. "
By Neko
Description
Yumao(Zhangqianye) is a trans girl, who is gentle, smart, tough and lovely.
She introduced herself in her profile: Perhaps Yumao doesn't like taking part in group activities. I love white and red, also that kind of rainbow in Glitch. And I have a sweet tooth, I would feel happy for a long time while holding a packet of white rabbit creamy candies. I love cats, and adopt a cat called Ayaka.
She was an admiral of Kancolle， and her first action figure was Destroyor Akizuki im kancolle.
She loved time with silent and ease. For example, she put on the headphones and drank hot coffee in café, she watched out of the window and observed people came and left. This would make her relaxed. Sometimes, she had some special thoughts. She wished to shooting stars at times, she said: "It's not because I believe that, but in that it's free. And there's no evidence shows it doesn't work."
According to Neko, She loved spicy hot pot, and always enjoyed it with rice.
Yumao liked to watch stars when she didn't sleep yet at night. After she returned to China, due to bad weather and few time, she couldn't watch stars as previous time. So she made a special trip to Dishui Lake once and watched stars.
She saved many thoughts in her private blog, and these blog posts included many areas: computer science, military and politics. She was also a girl who loved literature, and she wrote down much beautiful prose and poetry. Of course, she record daily life in her blog, and we can still see her story, her experience, and her train of thoughts.
Experience
Yumao once studied abroad in the US, then she backed to Shanghai to continue her study in unisersity.
In 2017, she encountered Neko in Twitter(Now X), and she felt that Neko was skilled and powerful. After that, they became close partners.
In that period, there was not so much censorship about transgender topic in Zhihu. So Yumao always @ Neko in relevant topics, then showed their affection in public.
During that time, Yumao got many mental supports. Yumao described the care from Neko like this:
"Even that things were dark and painful, which had been hidden, you still observed and felt them. Maybe you understanded more then myself, wonderful... You also found my scattered identity, then lifted me out of abyss. That was the first time I was been touched by others."
However, they were forced to separated. After that, Neko was brought back to Yunnan by family, and was sent to correctional school. Then, it was reported that Neko had commited suicide and died. Chinese media Beijingnews reported this in video. Yumao was extremely grieved after hearing the news. She continuously sent messages about missing Neko in their Telegram channal. She quoted Cassiopeia(カシオペヤ) , which was a song they used to listen together, to express her grief.
Although she also found that the suicide of Neko ws complicated and confusing according to some routes. But there was no more news about Neko indeed. She really hoped Neko was still alived.
"I always stayed alive for you...I got lost cuz missing you, wish you are still alive..."
In her blog, she always missed Neko, and recalled the days with her. Yumao often wrote down some caring words, such as prompted Neko to manage her hair, or told Neko to add or subtract clothes.
In this period, Yumao tried to remember previous time and those things which is moving, happy and blissful. But her heart was took up by sadness, and her memory gradually worsen. She said that she forgot many things.
She formerly planned to complete SRS within the year, but she didn't realize that cause of her bad mental health and other reasons.
In 30th June, all hope of her had been removed and she tried to commit suicide. The next day, she left this world with regrets at her age of 17.
Wish that I could become a pretty girl who is kind-hearted, and become the sister of Ayaka and Ruri.
In her blog post Separation and Reunion published in march, she left many words to her friends, and thanked to their company all along.
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After Her Leaving
In fact, Neko didn't pass away. In Neko's email in 19th March, they still encouraged each other with the words "Must stay alive".
Transgender cummunity investigated this thing once, and found the fact that Neko was pronounced dead by her family.
**Fact**
Neko 和羽毛被迫在上海分开之后，被父母带回了云南昆明，而后在心理卫生中心住院治疗。在这段时间里，Neko 一直想着要去寻找羽毛，于是在院外与家人吃饭的间隙尝试和羽毛联系，并说服了当值医生给自己开具出院证明。此举激怒了其家人。此后，家人索性假借送她去机场之名，将其开车送至昆明安宁市好孩子学校（以下简称「好孩子」）此后，Neko 被关入了 308 房间，也可以理解成小黑屋一样的存在。
在从308房间出来之后数日，由于 Neko 掌握着不错的计算机技术，加上此时宣传部门较为信任她，于是他们找到了 Neko，要求其帮助他们修理网络系统。Neko 在修复网络系统后迅速给羽毛发送了邮件。
随后，外界开始了对Neko父母的言论轰炸，新京报的记者也找到了好孩子，询问Neko的下落。
但是，Neko 的父母随后作出了惊人的决定，和其他人说已经把 Neko 从机构中带出，随后将 Neko 的户籍注销，并用哭腔在《新京报》的采访中对外界宣称 Neko 已于 3 月 24 日凌晨自杀。
To commenmorate all the difficulties I suffered in the past two years
From 2018-03-16 22:31
To 2020-03-16 22:31
Thanks to all your efforts in that period
This is also, to remember all the things you experienced after we separted
Also, for you in 2018-07-31
Thank you everyone.
Neko, at Telegram
After survived the ordeal, Neko tried to get out of the shadow, and she gradually moved toward to the right road of life.
"Cat will stay alive, to remember that girl I used to loved." This is what Neko always uses to encourage herself.
In Zhihu questionWhat are your thoughts about ZhiHu user @yu-zhang-31-35 ?, many friends wrote their memories of yumao, and expressed their sandness and regret of the death of her.
Good night, yumao, wish you can be a girl and live happily.
Contributors for this entry: One-Among-Us, Ayaka Neko